all hail the fsm

all hail the fsm

all hail the fsm

all hail the fsm

“My girlfriend and I are working on a short documentary about the FSM so we decided to take the good word of his noodly appendage to the streets of downtown Portland. We discovered an interesting dichotomy in the people that would stop at our table. Those who simply seemed interested in learning about just what the Flying Spaghetti Monster was would stop, look at the portrait, and listen to my brief speech on the FSM history and then take off with a nod or polite thank you. However, those who stopped and would really want to shoot the old bull with us would focus in on topics pretty tangential and unrelated to FSM (such as how the Illuminati does not wanting us to be out here preaching) and continue to talk to us about them for great lengths. It makes me have my doubts that the first Pentecost went as seamlessly as I’ve always been taught.”

35 Responses to “Portland Evangelizing”
  1. 1 - James - Oct 1st, 2006

    I would like to host a FSM event for Meet in Portland. If anyone is interested, please contact me!

  2. 2 - Louis - Oct 9th, 2006

    May the sauce be with you.
    RAmen
    Brother Louis

  3. 3 - luis - Oct 11th, 2006

    i pray for all of u that u find the right way to heaven..not by the spaghetting monster but by Jesus he who died for ur sins..

  4. 4 - dee dee dee - Oct 14th, 2006

    Well scrwe u luis the FMS is our way of life and if u dont like it i will have to get the FSM to come over 2 ur house and touch u with his noodly appendage!!!

  5. 5 - misfits_phreek - Oct 15th, 2006

    Now now Dee Dee Dee… Let us not forsake Luis, and further, let us not anger His Noodlyness with threats of thrashing of other with His Noodly Appendage. Instead, let us offer each other a pint of grog, throw our arms around each other, and sing sea-shantys till the wee hours of morn…

    And may the Sauce be with you!

  6. 6 - Lovey dove - Nov 14th, 2006

    well hey dee dee dee its FSM i guess you worship a Flying Monster Spaghetti…..

  7. 7 - Robert - Dec 16th, 2006

    It’s about time we enter the educational system. Here’s a trail-blazing vita to consider:

    Doctor of Flying Spaghetti Monster Missions And Evangelisms Degree

    Course Syllabus

    Each FSM rector must reckoned to have communicated with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. He must be willing to pledge to his group of followers that he/she has been influenced by the voice and vision of the FSM. As a rector in The Church of FSM, you will allow the FSM to speak to your heart and counsel you about the stresses of life. The Flying Spaghetti Monster will replace all your negative emotions with HIS opposites.
    You will learn to teach your flock how to experience the FSM living within and learn to abide in the FSM to the extent that HE abides in our gut knowledge of HIM… especially after a nice pasta meal.
    Your message does overlap, somewhat, with existing neo-con religions by learning how to fulfill your financial destiny. You will immerse yourself in The Church Of Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Scripture and find support for the belief that the FSM delights in the prosperity of HIS children. You will learn amazing ways to teach your pastafarians that it is the FSM’s desire for them to lend and not borrow, to be the tail and not the head. Once they’re true believers that the FSM actually interfered with the Carbon-Dating process, you will be easily manage to teach them the nature and purpose of prophetic revelation and its proper function in the Body of FSM. You will soon become a questioning, visionary, psychic, and creative thinker who questions the status quo.
    Lastly, the FSM belief surpasses creationism and all ID viewpoints simply because it offers a concrete and reasonable explanation of how everything was created in a nanosecond…and recently! With his slick tentacles and all-knowing nature, he obstructed the attempt, via dim-witted human Carbon-Dating, to place things and events in an orderly sequence throughout time. FSM explains how, better than any other organized religion, that the earth was created in 6 days roughly only 6,000 years ago. It explains why the FSM bible is scientifically accurate in explaining why the earth isn’t billions of years old. True FSM believers realize that dinosaurs did not exist millions of years before man, even though thousands of heretic college textbooks say otherwise. The SFM’s tentacles also makes it easy to see why the mountains, oceans, the true location of the Red Sea crossing, and many other events are no older than 6,000 years. Yes, I cannot fathom teaching ID and creationism in America’s science classes without also teaching the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory…it seems to hold up better. I’m awaiting the second coming of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!

  8. 8 - Oared Shitless Marc - Dec 16th, 2006

    Brother Luis,
    It is so cool that you have turned “spaghetti” into a verb. I love it!

  9. 9 - Portland Pastafarians - Jan 8th, 2007

    Yay!
    I see there are other Portland Pastafarians.
    Fantastic.
    I salute your work sir.

  10. 10 - kim - Jan 18th, 2007

    We FSM converts need to have a day of evangelizing set up at PSU. Our campus has been plagued by the Youth Ministeries Organization (I think that’s their un-noodly name). Other students deserve to see the sauce and be saved!

  11. 11 - Heitomos - Jan 20th, 2007

    Are there many Canadian Pastafarians? All of the locations I have heard of people posting here I haven’t really heard of/seen before, I’m just wondering if there are any Pastafarians/Pastafarian events in my region/Canada.

  12. 12 - Lirian - Jan 31st, 2007

    Well, when’s the next big Pastafarian event here in Portland? I recently introduced this concept to a few friends and teachers and even got it a spot in the upcoming religion course at my school.

    Ramen,
    -Kai

  13. 13 - helacor - Feb 22nd, 2007

    i love portland i live here boo yeah ka shaa

  14. 14 - bmall - Mar 22nd, 2007

    I will be moving to Portland soon and have recently become familiar with pastafarians and their beliefs (although I have loved spaghetti for some time). For years, I had questions about the creation of the universe and the seeming conflict between science and my Christianity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster explains so much. I now accept the truth and understand our world’s beginnings with much more clarity. One problem, however… I’m still not sure I get the pirate thing. Aren’t pirates bad? If I become a Pastafarian, do I have to become a pirate too? I don’t like patches. And parrots? They’re just annoying. Oh, and one more thing… in the FSM church, is it okay to smoke pot? That will really make a difference as to whether I join or not.

  15. 15 - jon zebedee - Mar 28th, 2007

    do not make the FSM mad. heed my warning. you will be slathered.

    jesusisnowhere.com

  16. 16 - Plethora of Pasta - May 16th, 2007

    I would love a FSM event in Portland, especially since I live there (or at least close enough as to not make any difference). I hope it gets organized soon, and in the meantime I think I’ll set up a FSM after-school club at my high-school. May you be titillated by his tasty tentacles! RAmen!

  17. 17 - Fry - May 24th, 2007

    I would love to discuss spaghetti with other like minded Portlanders. Let me know at joshfryguy@gmail.com please.

  18. 18 - Jaminator - May 25th, 2007

    I am a canadian Pastafarian! So is my brother and a handful of our friends! My boyfriend sadly thinks it is silly.. but he was raised in Texas.. lol (No offence meant for any Texans)

  19. 19 - Simon - May 25th, 2007

    We need to increase the British awareness of the FSM!

  20. 20 - DutchPastaGuy - May 25th, 2007

    @Simon
    More is always better, but the UK definately has a strong, active Pastafarian congegation already.

  21. 21 - SanchezMa. - Jun 6th, 2007

    YES, i have recently joined the path of His noodly appendage and am happy to see Portland has a group.

  22. 22 - Gaara the Pirate Ninja - Jun 19th, 2007

    Damn!!! why does nearly all the cool pirate and fsm stuff go on in PORTLAND!!?? sorry for my outburst but canb the FSM come to RICHMOND, VA or WASHINGTON???? PLEASEEEE!!!!!!!!

  23. 23 - Lumenesca - Sep 7th, 2007

    I used to live in Portland. I could have attended! T_T

  24. 24 - Jodee Browneyes - Oct 23rd, 2007

    I’m tired of the guy with the sandwich board “Choose Jesus Christ Avoid Hell” passing out cartoon religion to my children at public schools in SW Portland. Contact me if you want to do a counter-campaign and/or write our own cartoon religion tracts for distribution. jodeebrowneyes@yahoo.com

  25. 25 - Zehnmaster - Jan 4th, 2008

    His Noodleness Rocks.
    I hope to run across your Evangelizing in PDX and here how I can help spread the word and work of His Noodleness.

    LONG LIVE THE FSM

  26. 26 - earthling - Jan 22nd, 2008

    I cannot believe in all I have read here that HER NOODLIENESS remains (alas) unmentioned.

  27. 27 - mallachin - Apr 4th, 2008

    Would love to see a FSM evangelizing event at Portland State University’s park blocks. There are many Christian groups that come through and evangelize. It’s only fair! Equal time, equal representation.

    Been a Pastafarian for 2 years or so! Used to be atheist but now I know that there is a really real deity out there…the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

    rAmen!

  28. 28 - Piratey Ninja - Apr 9th, 2008

    How about Canada? We need s’more demonstrations up here too. *laughs* Yeah, trying to get some friends together for something like this, but I’m still fairly new (a few weeks in) to Pastafarianism. Great work out there in Portland though!
    RAmen.

  29. 29 - Dan - Jun 24th, 2008

    I used to be aethiest, then I converted to Mooism, but now, I have seen the light of her noodleness. I am so glad I was saved from eternal damnation.

  30. 30 - dresslikeapirate.com - Jul 4th, 2008

    So come to Portland where all the cool pirates live. It’s moist here, your noodles will not shrivel.

  31. 31 - Liony Goodness - Aug 24th, 2008

    I’m in Portland. I have a whole family of Pastafarians out here. Anybody wanna make it a spaghetti communion get-together at a local pasta place? I know a couple good ones. How about Sal’s, sometime in the next few weeks?

    Also, the 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yarrrr!

  32. 32 - Darwin’sMonkey - Aug 25th, 2008

    Ok that’s it …. I see pictures of parties with wenches and guzzling of anointed beer and I must express jealousy. Maybe we need to start chapters in every city and take them over like little nancy boy ships run by men in wigs and women that deem themselves proper! I live in Phoenix and I know I’m not the only Pastafarian here.. we could be called the “Pastazona” chapter and Portland is cool because it’s the “Land o’ Port’s” arrghhh! So we gather in Arizona and show them that it’s not moist and that is why our noodles are hard!!! All in the name of Secularism, the FSM and Pastafarians everywhere!!!!!! oh and Henderbob can come too! Oh and also I love Portland !! Stupid sexy city!! :)
    RAmen

  33. 33 - Lawranski - Oct 6th, 2008

    We Eugenians support you, our fellow Oregonian pastafarians!

  34. 34 - Nance - Feb 12th, 2009

    Man, I knew I moved to the right place!

  35. 35 - Taylyn - Apr 5th, 2009

    And to think that I hated Oregon..

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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