75 Responses to “Playboy - January 2006”
- 74 Trackback on Feb 4th, 2007 at 11:40 am
- 75 Trackback on Nov 24th, 2007 at 1:34 am
Connect with other Pastafarians
Propaganda Buttons
Add these buttons to your site:
RSS Feeds
Support the Cause
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
Purchase the Gospel
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
THIS WAS ACTUALLY IN PLAYBOY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Truly, the FSM has mighty powers
RAmen
Impressive. Although this religion is founded on faith, it does strengthen belief and motivate members when we see doctrine placed in such an important journal. The decline in piracy does explain an awful lot, doesn’t it?
As the great Pasta spake,
Testify, Testify , Testify, just don’t desminate while you do it.
RAmen
Brother Louis
Ok.. I guess I really have to start reading the magazine now.. completely missed this one! Harrg!
Are you frigin Kidding me? this is all a bunch of Bull!
What’s a bunch of bull?
The fact that its in a playboy magazine… or the fact that its the almighty FSM?
@Ashley
“Are you frigin Kidding me? this is all a bunch of Bull!”
.
Not bull….Pasta…a totally different food group!! Never mind you’ll learn.
RAmen
A bunch of bull is rather like a Papal Bull that has been used to make meatballs.
What does a bunch of bull refer to anyway? I mean, a bunch of flowers I get. Though I can’t really imagine some male bovines in a vase in my living room.
@zaphod
Now that makes sense.
Zaphod Beeblebrox! It is me, Ford!
I call to brothers Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Jerry Faldwell, and Pat Robertson. Let the FSM touch you with his noodley appendage and you will feel his meaty goodness.
I am a Christian, but I see some genius in this whole thing. To me it saves a lot of time to believe that faith will get me where I need to be in life and beyond. Even if the Bible is inaccurate or made up in parts, I think what you have faith in is how you will spend your eternity. It entertains me to see scientists and theologians battle over things that could easily be combined or left up in the air. I believe in Satan and hell also, but I can’t prove it. But I was there when I choked in my sleep a while back. Lucifer was very angry with me for believing in god but not really following Jesus. I was just one of those “god solves everything” people and didn’t realize I needed to remind god that Jesus died for me and I demanded to be returned in Jesus’ name (from hell). Now I’m sure science will say I had a hallucination and I’m willing to accept that. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe there is still something to it.
I’m sure you will hear the argument about Playboy not being a reputable source of info, but I actually had a subscription at one time and found the articles very well done and honestly other than Jenny McCarthy, the girls really weren’t that interesting. Now I’m sure that will make it easy for the “hypocrite” statements but we’re all human. Christians (and insert any religion really) are not saints, there are just things that aren’t discussed or admitted. The religious leaders that pretend to be perfect and preach against things (especially homosexuality) are mad at themselves for not being able to share the truth so they yell at us all in hopes that we will not be like their true persona.
Keep an open mind, remember why this all started but don’t become exactly like the people that are setting a bad example for faith. I mean, pretend to but don’t let your true self become this.
“Don’t let your true self become this.” No wonder religion is so full of mystery. For me at least, as I never have a clue what the worshipful folk are on about. the mere fact that the “creation drawing” was published in a famous porn mag is amazing.
Do not be deceived; it was the Noodley One who rescued you from the great pit of marinara that awaits those who do not accept His gospel. We have all been touched by a noodle at some point in our lives, but He demands that you believe only His FSM theory, which is unlike any other because it has a graph and eyewitness pirates. If you turn to Him, He will welcome you into the bosom of His spicy meat. Only then may you board the Heavenly Galleon and behold the Pastific Vision. His noodles are quivering for you. Won’t you answer?
Boy oh Boyardee, Ramen.
Arrrghh. For Pirates there be no better source of information then the Playboy Magazine. Aye. Months at sea alone - what would you expect us to be readin’.arrgh.
“I was there when I choked in my sleep a while back. Lucifer was very angry with me for believing in god but not really following Jesus.”
Arrrr Jim Lad…. Would yer like ter be seein moi graph abowt pirates and global warming?
What about Johnny Kidd and his piratical hordes??
My lawer advised me to delete the last clause of a contractual obligation..it called into question my mental capacity to perform certain tasks!! I had to verify my sanity.. and as every one knows ..there is no sanity clause!!
David micheal R What are you doing viewing this site ?? This is for us normal worshipers of noodlieness, macaroni ( the inventor of the pasta wireless) lasgne,canalonie,carbonara et al..this is pasta joke!
oi,
no one made a comment yet about the apropriatness of this article in regard to the stripper factory we have in heaven?
wow… that’s pretty slow, isn’t it?
A new convert to noodleness is a former acolyte of the mighty B.O.Q Welcome Derek O” Robbo! Your Staff bearer Wayne Guzzle (former whistling chicken sexer,and treasurer of the Wheel Tappers and Shunters Club) is to be ceremonialy inducted into FSM along with his partner Mr. Peasemould Guntfuttock at the viginal equinox at Stone Henge..Welcome one and all!!
Borat, Brad Pitt and The Queen only use Ezichat phones to contact other FSM ites…
@Dret Grefison: how can somebody go to hell if they were good if christianity is correct. That doesn’t make sense to me as an x-xtian.
That said, playboy is one of the most noodly one’s greatest creations…right after baked penni with cheese.
I had a revalation when opening the Financial Times,all the vinegar had come off me chips,but an article in the Necrophilia and Knitting monthly section caught my eye;it concerns a Sir Tobias O”Geddington from the quaint little hamlet of Northhants in rural England.The afore mentioned Sir Tobias is a fully qualified chicken suited neophyte with O.O.R (Order Of The Orchidus Rampant)and Bar ;granted by Royal Charter Of Mortellus Gymniccers, The article informs us He is therefor emminently qualified to assist with the pending conversion to FSM of the Head of the ancient Welsh Pict Clan now residing in New South Wales,Australia. Traditionally the head of the McGarret Pict clan holds the Order Of The Tachometer,he must appoint a “Mukka” to strictly adhere to counting clerics every minute of the day…Remember …it is one minute to midnight!!A “Mukka” is needed Before the McGarret Picts conversion can be implemented.Application please; care of myself,clock watchers need not apply…spread the word and the bloater paste sandwiches!!
As a stripper and faithful follower of The Noodly one I must say that this makes me very very happy. I work diligently to convert many of my fellow nude employees to see HIS way. Several have now been touched by his Noodly Appendage.
I am happy to see that now naked models and all of the faithul readers of playboy can also be touched and truly see the way.
Pictures of strippers dressed as pirates in worship to follow…
%)
So… this is retarted! congratulations.
Beastly. You’re drooling :)
Ummmmm. Does that mean that it is retarded, or not? I love the word retarded. It’s just so non-judgmental.
but he said retarted not retarded.
ooh well spotted. My bad :(
Anyone know how to get up with bobby? I’ve been sending him these great photos of me evangelizing at this evo/intelligent design event for a few days, but get no response.
I know he’d love to see them. I used to have his alternate email, but lost it.
his bad, retarted implies that the tart taken away has been returned. I never knew there was one about in the first place!
So I wonder…. Do strippers get to go to the great stripper factory in the sky upon our passing? Or are those different and previously existing strippers? That is to say, is it a finite number of strippers in the stripper factory?
Miss Heidi Marx Jan 19th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
So I wonder…. Do strippers get to go to the great stripper factory in the sky upon our passing? Or are those different and previously existing strippers? That is to say, is it a finite number of strippers in the stripper factory?
.
It’s entirely up to you!
Ramen
I would think that there would be an infinite number of strippers. There would be strippers to titillate everyone’s taste. There would be strippers as far as the eye could see. All of them would be writhing to different beats.
.
Holy shit. Someone kill me, quick!
I hope I don’t die now, I not old enough to legally view strippers/drink beer D=, do we age in heaven, if so, I can bring my gameboy with to keep me busy for a year, if not, I dun wanna die yet D=
Also, if the beer mystical beer that doesn’t kill brain cells, cause eventually you could lose all brain cells and thats no fun
The FSM works in mysterious ways.
*
Heitomos, I’m sure the FSM won’t mind you having a beer.
*
Sweet
Heitmos. I think we each get a perfect and ageless body. One where no excess imaginable has any lasting effect. We can all get drunk for eternity if we want. No down sides! The strippers get beer and strippers, who get beer and strippers etc. We can all do what we want, as long as other people aren’t affected (who don’t want to be!)
.
Oh FSM, it brings a tear to my eye. Anyone got any KoolAid?
Everyone lay off the KoolAid. His noodly work is not yet done in this life…
Aye, Aye Captain. Er, is Stella ok?
Re-assuringly intoxicating…
Ah, my good Captain, at 5.2% that it be. We used to call it Stella Tortoise many moons ago. The way you stick your head out of the duvet in the morning after the night before:) Aargh - bright light -nooo!
It’s also known as Wife Beater in some parts…
Ah! Didn’t know that. Odd though. Stella and Holstein are two of the few beers that don’t make me belligerent. I don’t get nasty, never have. Mind you, I’ll argue that black is white if I get near the Snakebites :)
Captain Noodulous Silicate TBHNA Jan 20th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
It’s also known as Wife Beater in some parts…
.
We’ve got several “Malt Liquors” here, that we call wife beaters.
And boat loads of rednecks that we call the same.
Perfect ageless bodies eh? Sweet, you have all convinced me, all hail FSM!
RAmen
I have met the love of my life here and through FSM worship.. Osiris Gnomeclecher and I are to be engaged ,our nuptuals will be conducted via the Ezichat appliances we share..in fact we shall be sharing all of our appliances..at the reception we shall serve only meat flavouered fizzy drink…”Stockade” all round…hooray..and noodles.
Fuck yeah!
In response to Dret Grefison’s response about christianity and believing in Jesus and his time saving by believing that faith will take him everywhere (and move mountains blah blah) (i totally respect religious people), I should say that I have spent that last two months trying to understand religion, that human need of believing in something, because, as a chemical engineering student (totally explicit that I do believe in science and evolution, and the not existance of a G o d who created all), and also a fan of psychology. In that research, also some self search, I have filosophized (i have no idea and don’t care if i just mispelled that) that religion is (from a psychological point of view) an ego defense mechanism, which resolves the issue of giving a rational explanation to things that can’t be explained, in order to relieve anxiety.
For example, old civilizations believed that the sun was a god, that was a sign of ignorance, right now we know that the sun is a star and that the earth is a big mass of melted dirt with a thin crust revolving around it, if there were still people who had those beliefs and thought that the sun was a god and denyed that it was a star, they would be religious people.
Now, speaking about “life movation” terms, people could accept scientifical theories but still think that there is a god who gives them courage, some dedicate their life to that god; let’s say maybe one month ago I was soooo depressed, I was talking to religious people because I wanted that “ego defense mechanism” that they had, but simply I just couldn’t believe in something because it just was irrational, so my friend took me to this seminar about “Angel’s Love” (don’t laugh, it’s not what you think), and I seriously was like….WTH….but then when a woman started speaking, she wasn’t talking about us and our guardian angels and yada yada, she was saying that we should provide love to the people that sorround us, and share and care, just like the way that people think angels would do so, so that’s when I finally stopped thinking about the ridiculous idea of believing in something superior and just living my life. So, I proved to myself that religion is not necessary in this time when there is a rational explanation to everything, and there’s no need to make up irrational information….such as deities…intelligent design…etc…
If you read this, thank you for reading.
Ramen
Leaving kitties in a box isn’t nice ppl! but anyways I actualy bought an issue of playboy for my pirate because of this article, the one with this article in it matter of fact and then bought him a subscribstion and he now belives absolutly in the power of the alimighty FSM.
Now if you could only get something in FHM maybe i’d let him read that as well.
Marinara ppl
T.K.
Playboy is only following the tradition established by the Founding Fathers of its country. The mystery of Yankee Doodle is now revealed.
“He stuck a feather in his cap / And called it macaroni.”
All of you infidels spreading your blasphemous lies will burn in hell for eternity. You need to ask for forgiveness and just pray to Jesus and hope that he will let you into heaven when you die. Burn in Hell you bastards,
Sincerely with care and love
Your local loving, peace preaching church, lovers of Christ and Buddha
Playboy and my religion?
now my life is complete
FSM truly DOES get everywhere!
FSM is the only way forward, we must all join the Chirch of th Flying Spaghetti Monster and thus become pirates in order to save the world from global warming. Arrrr
FSM is gay, he/she/it/they got AIDS
The first I’d REally Rather You Didn’t says:
I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.
Does that nopt count to other faiths? Hyporcisy be a evil bastion of the sea…..
The FSM is speading his noodles to places we thought he would never go.
Wawh waoh wait….
Theres words in Playboy?
Uhhh….. Flour, not Rice?
The Flying Spaghetti Monter’s orientation is a mystery to us, as it should be. And, if His Noodliness was gay, would that be a bad thing?
Just a thought.
FSMPN
@Dret
Dret, you talked about Satan strangling you in your sleep. This is actually a form of sleep paralysis, also known as the “old hag”. You experience it every night, only occasionally you will be conscious during this process, what you are feeling is your breathing rate slowing down (i.e. strangling), and hypnagogic imagery (i.e. hallucinations). Sleep paralysis is also attributed to many so called “alien abductions”.
Of course.. I just read Playboy for the articles..
May you forever be touched by his noodly appendage.
RAmen.
May all your strippers be warm, piratey and taste like beer in the afterlife.
RAmen
Hoo-yah!!!
Aaarrgghh!
I’ve been exploring religion for over two-thirds of my life (yes I’m old enough to drink beer and taste strippers) and this has been the most entertaining one by far!!
Raaaaamen!
I think I’d prefer my strippers to taste like wine than beer.
How about it, Miss Heidi Marx? Can you hook me up?
We should all be thankful that many heathens will now hear the call of the FSM and be brought from mental slavery through the touch of his noodly appendage. Everybody buy Playboy now!.
Raaaamen! Bitchezzzz!!
Yet more proof that his pastaness is all around us.
All shalt bow before his mightiness.
I have been waiting my whole life to feel a oneness with the universe. The Church of FSM has done this for me. I have a mobile made with a hanger above my bed of the FSM. I dream of sauce and being hugged by many strands of pastaly love.
Have a blessed day.
Wow