Are there more holiday’s then Talk Like a Pirate Day and every Friday? And what do we celebrate on Friday? Is it just like hey it’s Friday, this is a religious day, or is there something special to it? As for Talk Like a Pirate Day, should we give gifts or do we celebrate a Christmasy type religion like FSMmas?
I love the FSM.
But I’m not converting to any religion, not even the one with the beer volcanoes.
I’m an agnost, and that’s what I’ll stay.
But keep up the good work!
Explain to me…why you think this if you know nothing of life?
I have no religion because all are wrong.
Only one truth and only one power.
Youl see the truth…
in time we see…
God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.
hahahaha!…what fools.
Alpha Oemga…if the FSM was true then who made it..or more like this…what made it?
GOD is misunderstanded by all humans. Only few people know the truth…on another note, judging another will only end up judging oneself. When you say GOD sucks your really saying you suck.lol
you can beLIEve in anything. Just stop lying to yourselves and start realizing your in hell. Getting out of hell…well…thats when you start putting your own mind to rest and start doing what is known as the truth. Not many people know what truth really means…but hey..youl learn.
til then…keep doing what your doing until it bites you in the ass.
you might ask…but I got the proof to back my thoughts up…where is yours? give me the understanding of your thoughts.
another one from the class of people “those-who-dont-understand-what-satire-is”.
Beta Gamma… your proof = Bible (i can’t think of anything else in the scientific world, unless you are referring to stuff from the fantasy world), my proof = The Gospel of FSM and a million other things i can’t be bothered to list. done.
Bible… is a very general term. New testament or old testament? Genesis? or the biblical laws in Deuteronomy? Read them and interpret them yourself. Have faith in yourself.
@student
Your comment leads me to believe you are christian. It amazes me how weak your faith is. I can laugh at everything on this site, because I can take it for what it is. A helluva joke.
I love this site.
I love god.
I love the FSM
Freethinker Extraordinare
Oct 19th, 2006 at 3:45 am
Everyone must beLIEve in something, right!?
I beLIEve I’ll drink from the beer volcano.
And another thing. . .
God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.
P.S.
Pls. take that back or else you will be sorry in hell. Even if it was just a joke.
Your all just KIDS.
always pointing fingers and trying to be better.
when you realize what you are doing wrong its going to be to late.
FSM is nothing more than that of which it is.
And if you really think FSM can beat GOD…it already lost.
you have no faith. You probably cant even tell me what faith means.
Just discovered FSM this afternoon, and I’ve laughed out loud so often I’ve given myself a sore back. I was an agnostic, then an atheist, but now I’m converted. Not only does the FSM look a little like an Asian Babe, but we get beer volcanoes in heaven. This is undoubtedly the religion for me.
All power to the Pastafarians, lets all go and create little pirates.
Lol, take that God, I knew he was a pansy, all like, Ah save me… and turtling, his power is nothing compared to the FSM, and I doubt he tastes near as good. I don’t know where you guys got the beLIEeve thing, capitalizing the LIE for lie, but I like it, funny stuff.
Also, I had a good laugh at your intellect Crulix… I hate yo brake it to you, but everything is nothing more than what it is… lmao, like wtf?
Anyway, long story short, the Flying Spaghetti Monster owns God, anywhere anytime. Because God is an old man, and everyone knows old men are easy to push around.
LMAO you may have seen my other comment but what the hey.
There is no point in moking the FSM, lmao and by the way the fsm loves us all equally so all you christians dont think your better than us because your not and we are no better than you.Belive in what the hell you like honestly religon causes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble Respect
I have a split personality mikey is realy a kid at our shhool we are 2 people useing his name to ask stuff. the other guy is gay his name is aculey mikey. he likes older men if you have heard him you would know!
bon poop for brains —>
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Oooo hell really scary! I am an existentialist atheist, I do not believe in an after life of any sort, now if I have accepted the fact that when I die the only thing waiting for me is oblivion then do you really think the threat of hell would hold the slightest bit of fear to me?
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bon poop for brains writes:
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“you guys are all going to hell. if u deny God and Jesus you will go to hell. it’s as simple as that. have fun in the fire”
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Sweeeet! Do you think they have s’mores? I just love s’mores!
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OEJ
dudes!!!!!!!!!!!
do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are fucking lame.
there is no god.
there is no fsm there is only life and death!
or if you want “there is no death, just the force”.
but there is no motherfucking spaghetti fucking flying monster.
I rest my god damn fucking case.
All these believers have seen him with their own eyes man. How can you doubt the visual power of MAN.
Or for that matter how can you doubt anything that is accepted by THE BIG MAN. Don’t you undersrand that he is everything and that if he can’t explain something it does not exist.
You can rest your case all you like. (Casket more likely) But it is not over untill the One with all the power says its over.
stranger,
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“do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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Well of course not! That would just be silly. Everyone can clearly see that his eyes are separate from the meatballs. Meat eyeballs…. ha… that’s a good one!
.
OEJ
Blessed are those under the guidance of the FSM and to those on the noodley path.
RAmen
Thank the FSM, a religion that makes sense (at least more than the others) and one that is not corrosive to our society. I first heard of the FSM from the famous and briliant Dr. Richard Dawkins. To all you non-believers of the omnipotent FSM please take a moment to show me proof of its non existence. You can’t, just like I can’t disprove your god. At least I can say that my belief isn’t from the Bronze Age and my church hasn’t started any blood baths.
All praise to the ever vigilant and all mighty noodleyness
And here I thought that God was just one of the FSM’s cruel little jokes. Seems he’s actually a skinny white guy, and thus his defeat is a foregone conclusion.
I don’t get it - why should anyone be afraid of Hell?
After 1 000 000 years in pain, my friend, which is INFINITELY less time than infinity, you won’t feel any different than after 1 000 000 years in comfort. The reason we at all an feel pain is that pain is something we don’t feel 24/7. Those who DO feel pain 24/7 (painful disease etc) gradually stop feeling it in a matter of years, even shorter. Everything is relative - feelings too.
For years I have sat listening to the words of priests…yet in the back of my mind there were always doubts…I came to realize that beings like midgets and Chuck Norris could not posibly be created by this “god” character….Now i truly can see that the only posible explanation is the flying shapgetti monster…All praise his Noodlyness!!!!
i joined the church of the FSM believing that he did not discount other gods, but simply point out that they do not have as much hard evidence as him. I find the fact that the FSM killing another god rather mean.
RAmen
EVERYTHIGN MAKES SENCE NOW
one sec…. i must lmfao, all the gung ho people posting statements abotu how the loayal follower of the Mighty FSM will “go to hell” and such…..LMFAO…..Twice. man they am real dumb if they think posting here…in our own domain will “covert” us…HAHAHA they’re funny
ill take beer volcanoes and dressing like a pirate anyday of the week
May you all be touched by his noodly apendage
Hu da hell r u crulix? ‘u’ll c u u’ll all c’ (enter mwah ha ha ha!!!!) ?!?!?!?!?! we have found our god, he’s in religious chatrooms in the form of a nerd hu finks he/she knows everything!!!!!! i can ges by ur comment(s) dat ur christian, i hav many christian friends but they’re not sad enuf 2 cum on other religion’s chatrooms and dis their god. all i can say is get out or hail his noodliness, may ur starchiness be a burden thru ur pathetic life and be a reminder of ur sin.
hail the noodly one, we are truly His creatures
Ramen! Please stop fighting on these boards, need i remind ye all of the 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”? Listen to the Great FSM and be at peace with yourself, and to you nay sayers, if we truly belive in something and it makes us happy, then who are you to oppress us? Everyone finds truth in something and something different will make some people happy, some belive, and to those who do truly belive, may you be touched by his noodly appendage. For those of you who dont know read now of Captain Mosey and the 8 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” by the FSM, the “Commandments” by Mosey, and the “Condiments” by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten tablets, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event “partly accounts for Pastafarians’ flimsy moral standards”. The FSM’s commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
It is time for the truth to be told,
and this truth telliing will be called the outquisition.
All pasta will be exposed in this great outing.
And the non-Alfredans will be boiled for the plate.
In truth, the universe is really a bowl of fettucine Alfredo, FA.
It is a lie that FA is a heart attack on a plate.
A lie from the FSMs. All FSMs should be boiled!
There is only Alfredo, blessed be his holy name,
the merciful and magnificent.
Alfredo died on a plate for our sins.
Save your life before you are boiled!
– the Alfredans
this is very un christian it should be banned from the web!!!!!!!!! it is a sin I tell thee!!!!!
Bless this site with hope that it’s christian status will improve
1.Banning anything from the web on charge of being un Christian would be a travisty of free speech.
2. I think you need to consider your definition of “sin” a lot better. Just what the pastor tells you it is not really good enough.
3. Not gonna happen.
Thanks for the blessing gansta. BTW when did gun toting murderers become spokespersons for… ooops, sorry.
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No hard feelings. The Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and your family.
RAmen
@ The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
.
“Atheists will win over God and FSM”
Get a grip and read the posts (and my link). Smile, life doesn’t have to be full of conflict.
Shit Peter, I’d pay to watch that - thunderbolts and lightening (very, very frightening). I’m sure Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me!
I’ve got fifty on the FSM too. Who’s keeping the book?
RAman
Momma Mia let him… let him go… let him go…
Haha, This interweb thingie I just don’t know Alchemist.
Everytime I think I know it all, an atheist shows up with a holy war???
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.
Does that make me a nihilist?
We seem to be getting flak from all corners. He probably hit his toot flute too hard.
I loved the one about drinking the water from a six foot bong. How, in FSMs name do you get your mouth over one of them?
RAmen my man
Well now, lets see…
If the bong were filled with, umm I don’t know, huumm…
Lets say… Miracle water? Well then it would probably be easy to drink out of…
Ramen
Any Christains who enter this site, remember the first “I really rather you didn’t” Don’t be a Holier-Than-Thou Arse! I believe that this is not just a guideline for FSMers, but rather for everyone, including snooty atheists.
I think its funny how christians dont believe humans did not evolve from animals but with out there religion people would actlike animals. Im an athiest and I have never raped killed or stole.
Viva la FSM
(Sarcasm): Wow that FSP looks alot like a chinese woman *rapes FSP* huzah! I now posess thy reason! Spontanious Potato Metamorphing is the answer! This was prooved by Darles Charwin that over a certain period of time, any living being will turn into a potato. Why does this happen? Well, it’s part of nature. Never mind the stupid theory about “Evolution” SPM is how we came to being and is where we are going to be in the future. ALL HAIL THE FACT OF SPM!!!!!!
That’s just really how the FSP thing is retarted. BTW, not all christians DON’T believe in evolution so take your snobby Atheism, shove it up your ass and quit trying to turn other people into atheists.
Oi some of use may trully beleive in this, this is why were oposed to chrustianity with all your our religeon is the only true religeon and all others are just silly things not worth consideration, well i guess that you snobby christians should piss off, respect what other beleive in, and learn to stop critisising others and look at your selves.
The followers of pastatarianism believe that the FSM created all but you dont see us going onto your christian worship sites and telling you its all shit. We may not care for our religeon but we keep it to our site so piss off
Yar! all hail the FSM, HUZZAH!
RAmen
P.S. the christians believe in insest (adam and eve) so as a result the lack of different genes would drive civilisation into the groud, for example genetic problems would never be eliminated due to everyone within a country having the same genetic problem.
Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!â€
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Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
Add http:// to the above link or just search ‘The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” wiki. Got an “awaiting moderation” when I added the link. Happens sometimes?
@fsm raper
“Never mind the stupid theory about Evolutionâ€, there’s a lot of very sensible people who would disagree with you there. you seem very angry about this, perhaps you have some sort of pent up frustration? your selction of a posting name would seem to indicate so ~ cries out for some psychoanalysis in fact, although i imagine you’d dispute Freud as some crank as well. It’s ok to admit to yourself that you don’t have as much faith as you think you should and that you have all these annoying doubts. We welcome all, especially those prepared to ask questions.
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As for trying to turn people into atheists, even we can’t do that. We simnply encourage people to think for themselves, evaluate the evidence and see where it leads. if you do indeed believe that God/Jesus/Elvis speaks to you then good for you, stand up and say it proud, maybe seek some medical advice (i hear lithium works) but enjoy your delusion of choice. if all it does is make you angry then perhaps it’s not the one for you?
Awesome, Mike’s back.
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Wanker!
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@Crulix, we have discussed this else where, Truth is a river. Everyone gets this. So stop thinking because you are the first boy in the class to grow pubic hair you are somehow better than the world (Sorry, Mike’s here, it does that to me).
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@Little Jimmy
“it tastes like SHIT”, That’s what the sauce is for with spaghetti. Olive oil, garlic and onion is really good. Some mussels or diced fried bacon is really great tossed in too. Argg, anyway me old seadog, well come to our fine vessel. We all be stout believers yere.
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@FSM Raper, we aren’t atheists. You aren’t quite making sense. Have you ever been approached on the street by a Pastafarian trying to get you to come to a BBQ to push his religion down your throat followed by a one hour discussion on your beliefs because he thinks you must be deranged and subnormal for not believing in the FSM (I’m not bitter, he went away doubting)? We try to convert no one, you come here willingly. Most of the above religion pushing goes for Atheists too, they aren’t exactly known for it. May you grow more wise sanddog.
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Are there any tagliatelle witnesses out there yet? If so, can we shoot them for all of our sakes.
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A useful sauce (sic) of information http://www3.sympatico.ca/joanne.magliocco/pasta_shapes.htm
@ teddy, well why not make it church of the flying spaghetti monster w/ sauce and garlic? still tastes bad; becuz what ur saying isnt the flying spaghetti monster alone. lol
@ little jimmy: hmm……… shit, not exactly what i would say it tasted like but you can have your own oppinion. because you dont have to like the taste of somthing to beleive in it any way do you? do you think that catholics all like the taste of human flesh for beleiving (rather big headedly) that god is a huge big man in the sky with a couple of dead peaple?
oh and from a wile back
@Atheist Joe: english isn’t my first language and also i was typing very fast because i needed to catch a train.
and from more recently
@little jimmy….. again: he couldn’t have sauce and garlic aswell because when he is flying around at highspeeds it would dribble off leaving some form of supernatural goo from witch uncontrolled life would be bursting from, also garlic smells bad so we would be able to smell him near by and i doubt he would like a bundle of crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alkter the results of their tests would he?
“crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alter the results of their tests would he? ”
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FSM-catching scientists…now there’s a hilarious image.
Yeah… they’d fail miserably of course, and would be so taunted by the smell of garlic and bacon that they’d immediately run to the local pastorama for a little noodley benefaction.
That girl is fuckin ugly!
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Yeah? I think she’s cute, guess it’s just a matter of opinion.
I think your left hand is fuckin’ ugly!
See beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
you guys think about it a guy made this site and they say that when u go to heven u get beer and stripers come on think about it only a guy would say that!!!!!!!! dear lord y cant they all believe in you im ashamed of these ppl please show them the way and forgive them of being so dumb and beliving in spegitti and not u
@the bomb!
Actually the site was constructed by a beer guzzling lesbian, that’s pretending to be a guy. But we love him, uh I mean her, and his great discovery. You don’t believe in spaghetti? Go to the store, man. It is all around you, or at least on the pasta isle.
Are you all serious? Pasta monster… What in God’s green Earth? Who in their right mind would believe in a giant spaghetti monster, or whatever the thing is? You people are the strangest I have seen in a while. Although this is funny… I got a kick out of the pictures though XD
This is a messege to all the “omg i hate u this isnt funny god is going to smite you” people. If this site offends your religious sensebilities, leave. Nobody here is bothering you. If you don’t have anything nice to say…. Besides, no one is listening to you anyway.
i am a fellow bert basher pastafarian. i come from the wonderful world of the Stripper Factory. my mother drank from the beer volcanoes and i was created
fsm beats god anyday
i am another bert basher pastafarian. i dig the fsm!! marry me oh noodly one!!!
I used to look like this ¬_¬ but now I look like this ^_^! The wonderful spaghetti monster has opened my eyes to the world. I am proud to call myself a devout Pastafarian.
I always knew there was something about pasta. x
Well Curious, I don’t care what YOU say, there IS a FLYING Spaghetti Monster, but I will accept any proof you offer to the contrary, I have an open mind. You do have proof don’t you?
I think this is all I need to see today.
All praise FSM and his noodly wonder!
All hail the FSM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just cant’ wait to go heaven and see it all by myself, the beer volcanos!!!! just cant’ wait dude!!!!!!!!
this is all the proof i need
long live the fsm
Fms rocks
d
this is a permanant acid trip religion!!!!hehe
we will no longer worship trees but now the flying shapgetti monster in all his shaghetti-ness!
God is very blessed to be touched by his noodly apendage,
Keg Stands for the FSM!
I always suspect that god was a causasian male. That sure explains a lot…
Truly a classic re-enactment which should be re-enacted at every state fair, local fair, fair-to-good fair and so on and so forth!
AHH THE FULL GLORY OF THE FSM HAS BLINDED ME! I BOW DOWN IN AWE!
Instead of saying “god bless you” I will now say, with all reverence “Flying Spaghetting Monster bless you, Arg, Ramen”
Peace and spaghetti grease!
quik question what holidays do we have? and when please some one answer.
Talk Like a Pirate Day! (Sept. 19) And every Friday.
Are there more holiday’s then Talk Like a Pirate Day and every Friday? And what do we celebrate on Friday? Is it just like hey it’s Friday, this is a religious day, or is there something special to it? As for Talk Like a Pirate Day, should we give gifts or do we celebrate a Christmasy type religion like FSMmas?
I believe! I believe! I believe!
God has been converted, and leaved heaven to The FSM!
(I cant wait for the beer volcanos!)
I love the FSM.
But I’m not converting to any religion, not even the one with the beer volcanoes.
I’m an agnost, and that’s what I’ll stay.
But keep up the good work!
this is very confusing very dumb 2 what the hell is the spagetti monster
Explain to me…why you think this if you know nothing of life?
I have no religion because all are wrong.
Only one truth and only one power.
Youl see the truth…
in time we see…
the raveoli monster is better and he also taste better 2 cuz spagetti suks eggs lol
Everyone must beLIEve in something, right!?
I beLIEve I’ll drink from the beer volcano.
And another thing. . .
God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.
this is the most assnying shit ive ever heard
hahahaha!…what fools.
Alpha Oemga…if the FSM was true then who made it..or more like this…what made it?
GOD is misunderstanded by all humans. Only few people know the truth…on another note, judging another will only end up judging oneself. When you say GOD sucks your really saying you suck.lol
you can beLIEve in anything. Just stop lying to yourselves and start realizing your in hell. Getting out of hell…well…thats when you start putting your own mind to rest and start doing what is known as the truth. Not many people know what truth really means…but hey..youl learn.
til then…keep doing what your doing until it bites you in the ass.
you might ask…but I got the proof to back my thoughts up…where is yours? give me the understanding of your thoughts.
another one from the class of people “those-who-dont-understand-what-satire-is”.
Beta Gamma… your proof = Bible (i can’t think of anything else in the scientific world, unless you are referring to stuff from the fantasy world), my proof = The Gospel of FSM and a million other things i can’t be bothered to list. done.
Bible… is a very general term. New testament or old testament? Genesis? or the biblical laws in Deuteronomy? Read them and interpret them yourself. Have faith in yourself.
RAmen.
fuck you all
now I hate spagetti. this site is not funny. not one bit.
@student
Your comment leads me to believe you are christian. It amazes me how weak your faith is. I can laugh at everything on this site, because I can take it for what it is. A helluva joke.
I love this site.
I love god.
I love the FSM
RAmen!
Freethinker Extraordinare
Oct 19th, 2006 at 3:45 am
Everyone must beLIEve in something, right!?
I beLIEve I’ll drink from the beer volcano.
And another thing. . .
God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.
P.S.
Pls. take that back or else you will be sorry in hell. Even if it was just a joke.
Guan, are being you serious? Or satirical?
First time i’ve heard of the FSM…
My only comment…
Brilliant. Purely. Brilliant.
This is awesome. Love it.
ALL HAIL THE FSM!
All hail the FSM!
Your all just KIDS.
always pointing fingers and trying to be better.
when you realize what you are doing wrong its going to be to late.
FSM is nothing more than that of which it is.
And if you really think FSM can beat GOD…it already lost.
you have no faith. You probably cant even tell me what faith means.
Sold all my faith for Reason, so stick you faith up your… well I am sure you get the picture!
OK I laughed so hard at those pictures I pee’d a little
Just discovered FSM this afternoon, and I’ve laughed out loud so often I’ve given myself a sore back. I was an agnostic, then an atheist, but now I’m converted. Not only does the FSM look a little like an Asian Babe, but we get beer volcanoes in heaven. This is undoubtedly the religion for me.
All power to the Pastafarians, lets all go and create little pirates.
Yarrrr
coole Seite
Ich möchte eurer Sekte beitreten!
Wen oder was muss ich f****n um das tun zu können?
Lol, take that God, I knew he was a pansy, all like, Ah save me… and turtling, his power is nothing compared to the FSM, and I doubt he tastes near as good. I don’t know where you guys got the beLIEeve thing, capitalizing the LIE for lie, but I like it, funny stuff.
Also, I had a good laugh at your intellect Crulix… I hate yo brake it to you, but everything is nothing more than what it is… lmao, like wtf?
Anyway, long story short, the Flying Spaghetti Monster owns God, anywhere anytime. Because God is an old man, and everyone knows old men are easy to push around.
Become a pirate, save the world.
LMAO you may have seen my other comment but what the hey.
There is no point in moking the FSM, lmao and by the way the fsm loves us all equally so all you christians dont think your better than us because your not and we are no better than you.Belive in what the hell you like honestly religon causes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble Respect
Argggh! All praise his noodlyness, as his power (as seen) knows no bounds :-)
haha i love the costumes. i am so making some one day..
you guys are all going to hell. if u deny God and Jesus you will go to hell. it’s as simple as that. have fun in the fire
I have a split personality mikey is realy a kid at our shhool we are 2 people useing his name to ask stuff. the other guy is gay his name is aculey mikey. he likes older men if you have heard him you would know!
bon poop for brains, there is no hell, we go to heaven with strpper factories and a beer volcano. Lets see god and Jesus try to top that
bon poop for brains —>
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Oooo hell really scary! I am an existentialist atheist, I do not believe in an after life of any sort, now if I have accepted the fact that when I die the only thing waiting for me is oblivion then do you really think the threat of hell would hold the slightest bit of fear to me?
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bon poop for brains writes:
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“you guys are all going to hell. if u deny God and Jesus you will go to hell. it’s as simple as that. have fun in the fire”
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Sweeeet! Do you think they have s’mores? I just love s’mores!
.
OEJ
dudes!!!!!!!!!!!
do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are fucking lame.
there is no god.
there is no fsm there is only life and death!
or if you want “there is no death, just the force”.
but there is no motherfucking spaghetti fucking flying monster.
I rest my god damn fucking case.
Stranger,
You are wrong man.
All these believers have seen him with their own eyes man. How can you doubt the visual power of MAN.
Or for that matter how can you doubt anything that is accepted by THE BIG MAN. Don’t you undersrand that he is everything and that if he can’t explain something it does not exist.
You can rest your case all you like. (Casket more likely) But it is not over untill the One with all the power says its over.
“But it is not over untill the One with all the power says its over.”
Ohmygawd… DUBYA?? Is that you??
stranger,
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“do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
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Well of course not! That would just be silly. Everyone can clearly see that his eyes are separate from the meatballs. Meat eyeballs…. ha… that’s a good one!
.
OEJ
I want to convert….dressing like a Pirate sure beats wearing white all day….do you know how hard it is to keep white clean when you live in Italy??
So is there like a formal conversion process? Or like a baptism with spaghetti sauce? or what?
+ Benedict XVI
Blessed are those under the guidance of the FSM and to those on the noodley path.
RAmen
Thank the FSM, a religion that makes sense (at least more than the others) and one that is not corrosive to our society. I first heard of the FSM from the famous and briliant Dr. Richard Dawkins. To all you non-believers of the omnipotent FSM please take a moment to show me proof of its non existence. You can’t, just like I can’t disprove your god. At least I can say that my belief isn’t from the Bronze Age and my church hasn’t started any blood baths.
All praise to the ever vigilant and all mighty noodleyness
And here I thought that God was just one of the FSM’s cruel little jokes. Seems he’s actually a skinny white guy, and thus his defeat is a foregone conclusion.
I don’t know if it was intentional, but that God has to wear that AA-meeting name tag is just too funny.
Nice site.
I don’t get it - why should anyone be afraid of Hell?
After 1 000 000 years in pain, my friend, which is INFINITELY less time than infinity, you won’t feel any different than after 1 000 000 years in comfort. The reason we at all an feel pain is that pain is something we don’t feel 24/7. Those who DO feel pain 24/7 (painful disease etc) gradually stop feeling it in a matter of years, even shorter. Everything is relative - feelings too.
For years I have sat listening to the words of priests…yet in the back of my mind there were always doubts…I came to realize that beings like midgets and Chuck Norris could not posibly be created by this “god” character….Now i truly can see that the only posible explanation is the flying shapgetti monster…All praise his Noodlyness!!!!
wow… the truth…
ALL THESE WASTED YEARS
i joined the church of the FSM believing that he did not discount other gods, but simply point out that they do not have as much hard evidence as him. I find the fact that the FSM killing another god rather mean.
RAmen
EVERYTHIGN MAKES SENCE NOW
one sec…. i must lmfao, all the gung ho people posting statements abotu how the loayal follower of the Mighty FSM will “go to hell” and such…..LMFAO…..Twice. man they am real dumb if they think posting here…in our own domain will “covert” us…HAHAHA they’re funny
ill take beer volcanoes and dressing like a pirate anyday of the week
May you all be touched by his noodly apendage
Kaervar
Hakuna Matata
I have seen the truth… THE TRUTH IS NOODLES!
-Probably the most recent convert
Are those meat balls or boobies?
I never really realized the FSM was so hot. Is that blasphemous?
~RAmen
Hu da hell r u crulix? ‘u’ll c u u’ll all c’ (enter mwah ha ha ha!!!!) ?!?!?!?!?! we have found our god, he’s in religious chatrooms in the form of a nerd hu finks he/she knows everything!!!!!! i can ges by ur comment(s) dat ur christian, i hav many christian friends but they’re not sad enuf 2 cum on other religion’s chatrooms and dis their god. all i can say is get out or hail his noodliness, may ur starchiness be a burden thru ur pathetic life and be a reminder of ur sin.
hail the noodly one, we are truly His creatures
Thanks for this. It really clears things up.
Oh! The FLying Spaghetti Monster is Oriental !?
My God! (Him..or ..Her??)
Why not? They discovered pasta long before the europeans.
Ramen! Please stop fighting on these boards, need i remind ye all of the 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”? Listen to the Great FSM and be at peace with yourself, and to you nay sayers, if we truly belive in something and it makes us happy, then who are you to oppress us? Everyone finds truth in something and something different will make some people happy, some belive, and to those who do truly belive, may you be touched by his noodly appendage. For those of you who dont know read now of Captain Mosey and the 8 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” by the FSM, the “Commandments” by Mosey, and the “Condiments” by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten tablets, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event “partly accounts for Pastafarians’ flimsy moral standards”. The FSM’s commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
There is no FSM! There is only Alfredo!
It is time for the truth to be told,
and this truth telliing will be called the outquisition.
All pasta will be exposed in this great outing.
And the non-Alfredans will be boiled for the plate.
In truth, the universe is really a bowl of fettucine Alfredo, FA.
It is a lie that FA is a heart attack on a plate.
A lie from the FSMs. All FSMs should be boiled!
There is only Alfredo, blessed be his holy name,
the merciful and magnificent.
Alfredo died on a plate for our sins.
Save your life before you are boiled!
– the Alfredans
Grrr…ninja
@Gareth
Somehow, that post gives me deja vu.
RAmen
-a Pastafarian
gareth u fiend! you will burn in hell. or not, considering there is no hell :P
well, thats my fundamentalist streak down the drain
lol, gimme some evidence for your religion gareth and i wil join i (if it beats stripper factories and beer volcanos of course)
im loving every minute of this :D
eggy
this is very un christian it should be banned from the web!!!!!!!!! it is a sin I tell thee!!!!!
Bless this site with hope that it’s christian status will improve
Hail for the spaghetti-monster,
The golden belief reaches the old world.
Can`t wait for striperfactories and beer vulcanoes!
HArHArHAr-HaRYaaaaaArR!
Ramen
1.Banning anything from the web on charge of being un Christian would be a travisty of free speech.
2. I think you need to consider your definition of “sin” a lot better. Just what the pastor tells you it is not really good enough.
3. Not gonna happen.
Thanks for the blessing gansta. BTW when did gun toting murderers become spokespersons for… ooops, sorry.
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No hard feelings. The Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and your family.
RAmen
May this most holy of sites prosper, and the religion go on forever!
Ramen!
Atheists will win over God and FSM
ahh but who will we thank when we are thankful for all creation.
@ The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
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“Atheists will win over God and FSM”
Get a grip and read the posts (and my link). Smile, life doesn’t have to be full of conflict.
The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
Atheists will win over God and FSM
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I’ll put fifty USD on the FSM, wait, is this a sporting event? Or do you have some kind of war going on?
Shit Peter, I’d pay to watch that - thunderbolts and lightening (very, very frightening). I’m sure Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me!
I’ve got fifty on the FSM too. Who’s keeping the book?
RAman
Collecting may be just a tad difficult!
Momma Mia let him… let him go… let him go…
Haha, This interweb thingie I just don’t know Alchemist.
Everytime I think I know it all, an atheist shows up with a holy war???
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.
Does that make me a nihilist?
We seem to be getting flak from all corners. He probably hit his toot flute too hard.
I loved the one about drinking the water from a six foot bong. How, in FSMs name do you get your mouth over one of them?
RAmen my man
Well now, lets see…
If the bong were filled with, umm I don’t know, huumm…
Lets say… Miracle water? Well then it would probably be easy to drink out of…
Ramen
Hahahaha. That would be your special miracle spring water that takes the bo out of bong water!
Hahaha nice
This is not a belief this is crazy at first I thought this site was a joke all u guys are crazy seriously shit get a life.
omg, you should get out more yourself, it broadens the mind and helps punctuation.
Any Christains who enter this site, remember the first “I really rather you didn’t” Don’t be a Holier-Than-Thou Arse! I believe that this is not just a guideline for FSMers, but rather for everyone, including snooty atheists.
I think its funny how christians dont believe humans did not evolve from animals but with out there religion people would actlike animals. Im an athiest and I have never raped killed or stole.
Viva la FSM
(Sarcasm): Wow that FSP looks alot like a chinese woman *rapes FSP* huzah! I now posess thy reason! Spontanious Potato Metamorphing is the answer! This was prooved by Darles Charwin that over a certain period of time, any living being will turn into a potato. Why does this happen? Well, it’s part of nature. Never mind the stupid theory about “Evolution” SPM is how we came to being and is where we are going to be in the future. ALL HAIL THE FACT OF SPM!!!!!!
That’s just really how the FSP thing is retarted. BTW, not all christians DON’T believe in evolution so take your snobby Atheism, shove it up your ass and quit trying to turn other people into atheists.
Oi some of use may trully beleive in this, this is why were oposed to chrustianity with all your our religeon is the only true religeon and all others are just silly things not worth consideration, well i guess that you snobby christians should piss off, respect what other beleive in, and learn to stop critisising others and look at your selves.
The followers of pastatarianism believe that the FSM created all but you dont see us going onto your christian worship sites and telling you its all shit. We may not care for our religeon but we keep it to our site so piss off
Yar! all hail the FSM, HUZZAH!
RAmen
P.S. the christians believe in insest (adam and eve) so as a result the lack of different genes would drive civilisation into the groud, for example genetic problems would never be eliminated due to everyone within a country having the same genetic problem.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but I really enjoy proper spelling and grammer. If you’re going to insult someone, spell your words right at least…
On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!
Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!”
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Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22%20http://www.venganza.org/
RAmen
Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!â€
.
Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
.RAmen
Add http:// to the above link or just search ‘The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” wiki. Got an “awaiting moderation” when I added the link. Happens sometimes?
Dude! I TOTALLY wish I had thought of the FSM Halloween costume! That is GREAT! FSM Forever!
You can not defeat god because he is a highlander!
I dunno… it looks like Ms FSM is whooping his pansy arse :p
Wow - God in a kilt - there’s an image!
fsm pwns god!
@fsm raper
We will stop trying to turn everyone into athiests when you stop trying to turn everyone christian.
RAmen!!
PS. We Pastafarians need a Secret Handshake.
@fsm raper
“Never mind the stupid theory about Evolutionâ€, there’s a lot of very sensible people who would disagree with you there. you seem very angry about this, perhaps you have some sort of pent up frustration? your selction of a posting name would seem to indicate so ~ cries out for some psychoanalysis in fact, although i imagine you’d dispute Freud as some crank as well. It’s ok to admit to yourself that you don’t have as much faith as you think you should and that you have all these annoying doubts. We welcome all, especially those prepared to ask questions.
.
As for trying to turn people into atheists, even we can’t do that. We simnply encourage people to think for themselves, evaluate the evidence and see where it leads. if you do indeed believe that God/Jesus/Elvis speaks to you then good for you, stand up and say it proud, maybe seek some medical advice (i hear lithium works) but enjoy your delusion of choice. if all it does is make you angry then perhaps it’s not the one for you?
Does the FSM come with cheese?
RAmen.
Cheese and garlic bread.
YAY!!!!!!!!
RAmen TO THAT!! ;)
BEST RELIGON EVER!!!!!!!!
GO FSM!
RAmen…
Screw the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
I ate a pirate today, with spaghetti too.
Just kidding…
I don’t want to be killed by spaghetti.
ANDREW IS A FAGGOOOOOO……………………….
wow this site is hilarious. i wonder if any1 actually believes this stuff. but y spagehtti? it tastes like SHIT. how bout the giant ice cream monster?
i laugh at all of you who wholeheartedly believe this stuff.
oh yes, we all wholeheartedly believe all this stuff and secondly ice cream?????
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Where did you get such a foolish idea?
Ice cream monster? Preposterous. Where would the meatballs go?
Awesome, Mike’s back.
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.
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Wanker!
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@Crulix, we have discussed this else where, Truth is a river. Everyone gets this. So stop thinking because you are the first boy in the class to grow pubic hair you are somehow better than the world (Sorry, Mike’s here, it does that to me).
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@Little Jimmy
“it tastes like SHIT”, That’s what the sauce is for with spaghetti. Olive oil, garlic and onion is really good. Some mussels or diced fried bacon is really great tossed in too. Argg, anyway me old seadog, well come to our fine vessel. We all be stout believers yere.
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@FSM Raper, we aren’t atheists. You aren’t quite making sense. Have you ever been approached on the street by a Pastafarian trying to get you to come to a BBQ to push his religion down your throat followed by a one hour discussion on your beliefs because he thinks you must be deranged and subnormal for not believing in the FSM (I’m not bitter, he went away doubting)? We try to convert no one, you come here willingly. Most of the above religion pushing goes for Atheists too, they aren’t exactly known for it. May you grow more wise sanddog.
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Are there any tagliatelle witnesses out there yet? If so, can we shoot them for all of our sakes.
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A useful sauce (sic) of information
http://www3.sympatico.ca/joanne.magliocco/pasta_shapes.htm
@ teddy, well why not make it church of the flying spaghetti monster w/ sauce and garlic? still tastes bad; becuz what ur saying isnt the flying spaghetti monster alone. lol
@ little jimmy: hmm……… shit, not exactly what i would say it tasted like but you can have your own oppinion. because you dont have to like the taste of somthing to beleive in it any way do you? do you think that catholics all like the taste of human flesh for beleiving (rather big headedly) that god is a huge big man in the sky with a couple of dead peaple?
oh and from a wile back
@Atheist Joe: english isn’t my first language and also i was typing very fast because i needed to catch a train.
and from more recently
@little jimmy….. again: he couldn’t have sauce and garlic aswell because when he is flying around at highspeeds it would dribble off leaving some form of supernatural goo from witch uncontrolled life would be bursting from, also garlic smells bad so we would be able to smell him near by and i doubt he would like a bundle of crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alkter the results of their tests would he?
“crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alter the results of their tests would he? ”
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FSM-catching scientists…now there’s a hilarious image.
Yeah… they’d fail miserably of course, and would be so taunted by the smell of garlic and bacon that they’d immediately run to the local pastorama for a little noodley benefaction.
That girl is fuckin ugly!
The FSM is almighty,
God can suck his noodles,
Id pay too see that shit.
The FSM is almighty,
God can suck his noodles,
Id pay too see that shit.
Shmow,
RAmen!
Oob,
I think the lighting is unflattering.
She’s got a cracking pair of jugs! I think!
Oob Feb 5th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
That girl is fuckin ugly!
.
Yeah? I think she’s cute, guess it’s just a matter of opinion.
I think your left hand is fuckin’ ugly!
See beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
you guys think about it a guy made this site and they say that when u go to heven u get beer and stripers come on think about it only a guy would say that!!!!!!!! dear lord y cant they all believe in you im ashamed of these ppl please show them the way and forgive them of being so dumb and beliving in spegitti and not u
@the bomb!
Actually the site was constructed by a beer guzzling lesbian, that’s pretending to be a guy. But we love him, uh I mean her, and his great discovery. You don’t believe in spaghetti? Go to the store, man. It is all around you, or at least on the pasta isle.
great site. bless the FSM.
@Serah
Welcome!
Yep! Welcome serah.
May you be forever touched.
Ramen
Are you all serious? Pasta monster… What in God’s green Earth? Who in their right mind would believe in a giant spaghetti monster, or whatever the thing is? You people are the strangest I have seen in a while. Although this is funny… I got a kick out of the pictures though XD
This is a messege to all the “omg i hate u this isnt funny god is going to smite you” people. If this site offends your religious sensebilities, leave. Nobody here is bothering you. If you don’t have anything nice to say…. Besides, no one is listening to you anyway.
me and the flying spagetti monster are gona get engaged have a big wedding nd then have his pasta babies ! !
:-) ;-)
i wana lick his pasta skin off !
nd suck on his meatyballs! ummmmmmmmm!
things that make you go mmmmm!
i am a fellow bert basher pastafarian. i come from the wonderful world of the Stripper Factory. my mother drank from the beer volcanoes and i was created
fsm beats god anyday
i am another bert basher pastafarian. i dig the fsm!! marry me oh noodly one!!!
FSM FTW!!!
….errr, are the meatballs kosher? I mean, it says in an old book that I can’t possibly eat them if they’re not.
Sorry. I think I’ll just have the garlic bread (with the garlic on the side). Thanx
naha
just thought i’d comment
it’s obvious that God will win
NOT
FSM RULES
Ramen xxxx
I used to look like this ¬_¬ but now I look like this ^_^! The wonderful spaghetti monster has opened my eyes to the world. I am proud to call myself a devout Pastafarian.
I always knew there was something about pasta. x
Welcome sceptic. May you be touched by His Noodly appendages. Hang around the site for a bit if you like.
THERE IS NO GOD!! ONLY THE MONSTER!!!
cybnetic - Ok - no need to shout, some of us are nursing hangovers!
Ain’t that the truth!
Interesting comments.. :D
where the heck is the proof?
I hate to tell you this, but there is a rival FSM, albeit without meatballs or eyes.
Is this the anti-FSM?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fasta_Pasta_Logo.png
this whole thing is absolutely idiotic. i don’t care what anyone says or what “proof” they have, there is NOT a flying spaghetti monster.
@curious Apr 28th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
“this whole thing is absolutely idiotic.”
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Is not….nerrr (*poking tongue out*)
.
“there is NOT a flying spaghetti monster.”
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You have proof to back up your statement?
Well Curious, I don’t care what YOU say, there IS a FLYING Spaghetti Monster, but I will accept any proof you offer to the contrary, I have an open mind. You do have proof don’t you?