I think this is all I need to see today.

All praise FSM and his noodly wonder!

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All hail the FSM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just cant’ wait to go heaven and see it all by myself, the beer volcanos!!!! just cant’ wait dude!!!!!!!!

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this is all the proof i need
long live the fsm

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Fms rocks

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d

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this is a permanant acid trip religion!!!!hehe

we will no longer worship trees but now the flying shapgetti monster in all his shaghetti-ness!

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God is very blessed to be touched by his noodly apendage,

Keg Stands for the FSM!

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I always suspect that god was a causasian male. That sure explains a lot…

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Truly a classic re-enactment which should be re-enacted at every state fair, local fair, fair-to-good fair and so on and so forth!

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AHH THE FULL GLORY OF THE FSM HAS BLINDED ME! I BOW DOWN IN AWE!

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Instead of saying “god bless you” I will now say, with all reverence “Flying Spaghetting Monster bless you, Arg, Ramen”

Peace and spaghetti grease!

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quik question what holidays do we have? and when please some one answer.

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Talk Like a Pirate Day! (Sept. 19) And every Friday.

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Are there more holiday’s then Talk Like a Pirate Day and every Friday? And what do we celebrate on Friday? Is it just like hey it’s Friday, this is a religious day, or is there something special to it? As for Talk Like a Pirate Day, should we give gifts or do we celebrate a Christmasy type religion like FSMmas?

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I believe! I believe! I believe!
God has been converted, and leaved heaven to The FSM!
(I cant wait for the beer volcanos!)

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I love the FSM.
But I’m not converting to any religion, not even the one with the beer volcanoes.
I’m an agnost, and that’s what I’ll stay.
But keep up the good work!

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this is very confusing very dumb 2 what the hell is the spagetti monster

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Explain to me…why you think this if you know nothing of life?
I have no religion because all are wrong.
Only one truth and only one power.
Youl see the truth…
in time we see…

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the raveoli monster is better and he also taste better 2 cuz spagetti suks eggs lol

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Everyone must beLIEve in something, right!?

I beLIEve I’ll drink from the beer volcano.

And another thing. . .

God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.

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this is the most assnying shit ive ever heard

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hahahaha!…what fools.
Alpha Oemga…if the FSM was true then who made it..or more like this…what made it?
GOD is misunderstanded by all humans. Only few people know the truth…on another note, judging another will only end up judging oneself. When you say GOD sucks your really saying you suck.lol
you can beLIEve in anything. Just stop lying to yourselves and start realizing your in hell. Getting out of hell…well…thats when you start putting your own mind to rest and start doing what is known as the truth. Not many people know what truth really means…but hey..youl learn.
til then…keep doing what your doing until it bites you in the ass.
you might ask…but I got the proof to back my thoughts up…where is yours? give me the understanding of your thoughts.

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another one from the class of people “those-who-dont-understand-what-satire-is”.

Beta Gamma… your proof = Bible (i can’t think of anything else in the scientific world, unless you are referring to stuff from the fantasy world), my proof = The Gospel of FSM and a million other things i can’t be bothered to list. done.

Bible… is a very general term. New testament or old testament? Genesis? or the biblical laws in Deuteronomy? Read them and interpret them yourself. Have faith in yourself.

RAmen.

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fuck you all

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now I hate spagetti. this site is not funny. not one bit.

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@student
Your comment leads me to believe you are christian. It amazes me how weak your faith is. I can laugh at everything on this site, because I can take it for what it is. A helluva joke.
I love this site.
I love god.
I love the FSM

RAmen!

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Freethinker Extraordinare
Oct 19th, 2006 at 3:45 am
Everyone must beLIEve in something, right!?

I beLIEve I’ll drink from the beer volcano.

And another thing. . .

God? You are a disappointment, I KNEW
you were all hyper in your diaper.
You are powerless, your sword is worthless against our spagetti slinging monster. You SUCK God. You SUCK.

P.S.
Pls. take that back or else you will be sorry in hell. Even if it was just a joke.

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Guan, are being you serious? Or satirical?

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First time i’ve heard of the FSM…
My only comment…

Brilliant. Purely. Brilliant.
This is awesome. Love it.

ALL HAIL THE FSM!

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All hail the FSM!

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Your all just KIDS.
always pointing fingers and trying to be better.
when you realize what you are doing wrong its going to be to late.
FSM is nothing more than that of which it is.
And if you really think FSM can beat GOD…it already lost.
you have no faith. You probably cant even tell me what faith means.

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Sold all my faith for Reason, so stick you faith up your… well I am sure you get the picture!

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OK I laughed so hard at those pictures I pee’d a little

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Just discovered FSM this afternoon, and I’ve laughed out loud so often I’ve given myself a sore back. I was an agnostic, then an atheist, but now I’m converted. Not only does the FSM look a little like an Asian Babe, but we get beer volcanoes in heaven. This is undoubtedly the religion for me.

All power to the Pastafarians, lets all go and create little pirates.

Yarrrr

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coole Seite

Ich möchte eurer Sekte beitreten!

Wen oder was muss ich f****n um das tun zu können?

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Lol, take that God, I knew he was a pansy, all like, Ah save me… and turtling, his power is nothing compared to the FSM, and I doubt he tastes near as good. I don’t know where you guys got the beLIEeve thing, capitalizing the LIE for lie, but I like it, funny stuff.

Also, I had a good laugh at your intellect Crulix… I hate yo brake it to you, but everything is nothing more than what it is… lmao, like wtf?
Anyway, long story short, the Flying Spaghetti Monster owns God, anywhere anytime. Because God is an old man, and everyone knows old men are easy to push around.

Become a pirate, save the world.

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LMAO you may have seen my other comment but what the hey.

There is no point in moking the FSM, lmao and by the way the fsm loves us all equally so all you christians dont think your better than us because your not and we are no better than you.Belive in what the hell you like honestly religon causes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much trouble Respect

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Argggh! All praise his noodlyness, as his power (as seen) knows no bounds :-)

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haha i love the costumes. i am so making some one day..

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you guys are all going to hell. if u deny God and Jesus you will go to hell. it’s as simple as that. have fun in the fire

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I have a split personality mikey is realy a kid at our shhool we are 2 people useing his name to ask stuff. the other guy is gay his name is aculey mikey. he likes older men if you have heard him you would know!

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bon poop for brains, there is no hell, we go to heaven with strpper factories and a beer volcano. Lets see god and Jesus try to top that

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bon poop for brains —>
.
Oooo hell really scary! I am an existentialist atheist, I do not believe in an after life of any sort, now if I have accepted the fact that when I die the only thing waiting for me is oblivion then do you really think the threat of hell would hold the slightest bit of fear to me?
.

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bon poop for brains writes:
.
“you guys are all going to hell. if u deny God and Jesus you will go to hell. it’s as simple as that. have fun in the fire”
.
Sweeeet! Do you think they have s’mores? I just love s’mores!
.
OEJ

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dudes!!!!!!!!!!!
do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you are fucking lame.
there is no god.
there is no fsm there is only life and death!
or if you want “there is no death, just the force”.
but there is no motherfucking spaghetti fucking flying monster.
I rest my god damn fucking case.

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Stranger,

You are wrong man.

All these believers have seen him with their own eyes man. How can you doubt the visual power of MAN.

Or for that matter how can you doubt anything that is accepted by THE BIG MAN. Don’t you undersrand that he is everything and that if he can’t explain something it does not exist.

You can rest your case all you like. (Casket more likely) But it is not over untill the One with all the power says its over.

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“But it is not over untill the One with all the power says its over.”
Ohmygawd… DUBYA?? Is that you??

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stranger,
.
“do you really fucking belive there is a flying fucking spaghetti monster with meat eye balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
.
Well of course not! That would just be silly. Everyone can clearly see that his eyes are separate from the meatballs. Meat eyeballs…. ha… that’s a good one!
.
OEJ

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I want to convert….dressing like a Pirate sure beats wearing white all day….do you know how hard it is to keep white clean when you live in Italy??

So is there like a formal conversion process? Or like a baptism with spaghetti sauce? or what?

+ Benedict XVI

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Blessed are those under the guidance of the FSM and to those on the noodley path.
RAmen

Thank the FSM, a religion that makes sense (at least more than the others) and one that is not corrosive to our society. I first heard of the FSM from the famous and briliant Dr. Richard Dawkins. To all you non-believers of the omnipotent FSM please take a moment to show me proof of its non existence. You can’t, just like I can’t disprove your god. At least I can say that my belief isn’t from the Bronze Age and my church hasn’t started any blood baths.

All praise to the ever vigilant and all mighty noodleyness

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And here I thought that God was just one of the FSM’s cruel little jokes. Seems he’s actually a skinny white guy, and thus his defeat is a foregone conclusion.

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I don’t know if it was intentional, but that God has to wear that AA-meeting name tag is just too funny.

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Nice site.

I don’t get it – why should anyone be afraid of Hell?

After 1 000 000 years in pain, my friend, which is INFINITELY less time than infinity, you won’t feel any different than after 1 000 000 years in comfort. The reason we at all an feel pain is that pain is something we don’t feel 24/7. Those who DO feel pain 24/7 (painful disease etc) gradually stop feeling it in a matter of years, even shorter. Everything is relative – feelings too.

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For years I have sat listening to the words of priests…yet in the back of my mind there were always doubts…I came to realize that beings like midgets and Chuck Norris could not posibly be created by this “god” character….Now i truly can see that the only posible explanation is the flying shapgetti monster…All praise his Noodlyness!!!!

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wow… the truth…
ALL THESE WASTED YEARS

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i joined the church of the FSM believing that he did not discount other gods, but simply point out that they do not have as much hard evidence as him. I find the fact that the FSM killing another god rather mean.
RAmen

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EVERYTHIGN MAKES SENCE NOW
one sec…. i must lmfao, all the gung ho people posting statements abotu how the loayal follower of the Mighty FSM will “go to hell” and such…..LMFAO…..Twice. man they am real dumb if they think posting here…in our own domain will “covert” us…HAHAHA they’re funny

ill take beer volcanoes and dressing like a pirate anyday of the week
May you all be touched by his noodly apendage

Kaervar
Hakuna Matata

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I have seen the truth… THE TRUTH IS NOODLES!

-Probably the most recent convert

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Are those meat balls or boobies?

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I never really realized the FSM was so hot. Is that blasphemous?
~RAmen

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Hu da hell r u crulix? ‘u’ll c u u’ll all c’ (enter mwah ha ha ha!!!!) ?!?!?!?!?! we have found our god, he’s in religious chatrooms in the form of a nerd hu finks he/she knows everything!!!!!! i can ges by ur comment(s) dat ur christian, i hav many christian friends but they’re not sad enuf 2 cum on other religion’s chatrooms and dis their god. all i can say is get out or hail his noodliness, may ur starchiness be a burden thru ur pathetic life and be a reminder of ur sin.
hail the noodly one, we are truly His creatures

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Thanks for this. It really clears things up.

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Oh! The FLying Spaghetti Monster is Oriental !?
My God! (Him..or ..Her??)

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Why not? They discovered pasta long before the europeans.

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Ramen! Please stop fighting on these boards, need i remind ye all of the 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”? Listen to the Great FSM and be at peace with yourself, and to you nay sayers, if we truly belive in something and it makes us happy, then who are you to oppress us? Everyone finds truth in something and something different will make some people happy, some belive, and to those who do truly belive, may you be touched by his noodly appendage. For those of you who dont know read now of Captain Mosey and the 8 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts:

While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” by the FSM, the “Commandments” by Mosey, and the “Condiments” by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten tablets, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event “partly accounts for Pastafarians’ flimsy moral standards”. The FSM’s commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.

1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey – Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

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There is no FSM! There is only Alfredo!

It is time for the truth to be told,
and this truth telliing will be called the outquisition.
All pasta will be exposed in this great outing.
And the non-Alfredans will be boiled for the plate.

In truth, the universe is really a bowl of fettucine Alfredo, FA.
It is a lie that FA is a heart attack on a plate.
A lie from the FSMs. All FSMs should be boiled!

There is only Alfredo, blessed be his holy name,
the merciful and magnificent.
Alfredo died on a plate for our sins.

Save your life before you are boiled!
– the Alfredans

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Grrr…ninja

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@Gareth
Somehow, that post gives me deja vu.
RAmen
-a Pastafarian

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gareth u fiend! you will burn in hell. or not, considering there is no hell :P
well, thats my fundamentalist streak down the drain

lol, gimme some evidence for your religion gareth and i wil join i (if it beats stripper factories and beer volcanos of course)

im loving every minute of this :D
eggy

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this is very un christian it should be banned from the web!!!!!!!!! it is a sin I tell thee!!!!!
Bless this site with hope that it’s christian status will improve

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Hail for the spaghetti-monster,
The golden belief reaches the old world.
Can`t wait for striperfactories and beer vulcanoes!
HArHArHAr-HaRYaaaaaArR!

Ramen

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1.Banning anything from the web on charge of being un Christian would be a travisty of free speech.

2. I think you need to consider your definition of “sin” a lot better. Just what the pastor tells you it is not really good enough.
3. Not gonna happen.

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Thanks for the blessing gansta. BTW when did gun toting murderers become spokespersons for… ooops, sorry.
.
No hard feelings. The Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and your family.
RAmen

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May this most holy of sites prosper, and the religion go on forever!
Ramen!

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Atheists will win over God and FSM

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ahh but who will we thank when we are thankful for all creation.

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@ The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
.
“Atheists will win over God and FSM”
Get a grip and read the posts (and my link). Smile, life doesn’t have to be full of conflict.

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The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am

Atheists will win over God and FSM
.
I’ll put fifty USD on the FSM, wait, is this a sporting event? Or do you have some kind of war going on?

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Shit Peter, I’d pay to watch that – thunderbolts and lightening (very, very frightening). I’m sure Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me!
I’ve got fifty on the FSM too. Who’s keeping the book?
RAman

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Collecting may be just a tad difficult!

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Momma Mia let him… let him go… let him go…
Haha, This interweb thingie I just don’t know Alchemist.
Everytime I think I know it all, an atheist shows up with a holy war???

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Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.
Does that make me a nihilist?
We seem to be getting flak from all corners. He probably hit his toot flute too hard.
I loved the one about drinking the water from a six foot bong. How, in FSMs name do you get your mouth over one of them?
RAmen my man

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Well now, lets see…
If the bong were filled with, umm I don’t know, huumm…
Lets say… Miracle water? Well then it would probably be easy to drink out of…
Ramen

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Hahahaha. That would be your special miracle spring water that takes the bo out of bong water!
Hahaha nice

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This is not a belief this is crazy at first I thought this site was a joke all u guys are crazy seriously shit get a life.

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omg, you should get out more yourself, it broadens the mind and helps punctuation.

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Any Christains who enter this site, remember the first “I really rather you didn’t” Don’t be a Holier-Than-Thou Arse! I believe that this is not just a guideline for FSMers, but rather for everyone, including snooty atheists.

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I think its funny how christians dont believe humans did not evolve from animals but with out there religion people would actlike animals. Im an athiest and I have never raped killed or stole.
Viva la FSM

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(Sarcasm): Wow that FSP looks alot like a chinese woman *rapes FSP* huzah! I now posess thy reason! Spontanious Potato Metamorphing is the answer! This was prooved by Darles Charwin that over a certain period of time, any living being will turn into a potato. Why does this happen? Well, it’s part of nature. Never mind the stupid theory about “Evolution” SPM is how we came to being and is where we are going to be in the future. ALL HAIL THE FACT OF SPM!!!!!!

That’s just really how the FSP thing is retarted. BTW, not all christians DON’T believe in evolution so take your snobby Atheism, shove it up your ass and quit trying to turn other people into atheists.

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Oi some of use may trully beleive in this, this is why were oposed to chrustianity with all your our religeon is the only true religeon and all others are just silly things not worth consideration, well i guess that you snobby christians should piss off, respect what other beleive in, and learn to stop critisising others and look at your selves.

The followers of pastatarianism believe that the FSM created all but you dont see us going onto your christian worship sites and telling you its all shit. We may not care for our religeon but we keep it to our site so piss off

Yar! all hail the FSM, HUZZAH!

RAmen

P.S. the christians believe in insest (adam and eve) so as a result the lack of different genes would drive civilisation into the groud, for example genetic problems would never be eliminated due to everyone within a country having the same genetic problem.

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I don’t know if it’s just me, but I really enjoy proper spelling and grammer. If you’re going to insult someone, spell your words right at least…

On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!

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Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!”
.
Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22%20http://www.venganza.org/
RAmen

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Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!”
.
Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22

.RAmen

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Add http:// to the above link or just search ‘The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” wiki. Got an “awaiting moderation” when I added the link. Happens sometimes?

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Dude! I TOTALLY wish I had thought of the FSM Halloween costume! That is GREAT! FSM Forever!

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You can not defeat god because he is a highlander!

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I dunno… it looks like Ms FSM is whooping his pansy arse :p

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Wow – God in a kilt – there’s an image!

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fsm pwns god!

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@fsm raper

We will stop trying to turn everyone into athiests when you stop trying to turn everyone christian.

RAmen!!
PS. We Pastafarians need a Secret Handshake.

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@fsm raper
“Never mind the stupid theory about Evolution”, there’s a lot of very sensible people who would disagree with you there. you seem very angry about this, perhaps you have some sort of pent up frustration? your selction of a posting name would seem to indicate so ~ cries out for some psychoanalysis in fact, although i imagine you’d dispute Freud as some crank as well. It’s ok to admit to yourself that you don’t have as much faith as you think you should and that you have all these annoying doubts. We welcome all, especially those prepared to ask questions.
.
As for trying to turn people into atheists, even we can’t do that. We simnply encourage people to think for themselves, evaluate the evidence and see where it leads. if you do indeed believe that God/Jesus/Elvis speaks to you then good for you, stand up and say it proud, maybe seek some medical advice (i hear lithium works) but enjoy your delusion of choice. if all it does is make you angry then perhaps it’s not the one for you?

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Does the FSM come with cheese?
RAmen.

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Cheese and garlic bread.

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YAY!!!!!!!!
RAmen TO THAT!! ;)

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BEST RELIGON EVER!!!!!!!!

GO FSM!

RAmen…

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Screw the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

I ate a pirate today, with spaghetti too.

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Just kidding…

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I don’t want to be killed by spaghetti.

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ANDREW IS A FAGGOOOOOO……………………….

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wow this site is hilarious. i wonder if any1 actually believes this stuff. but y spagehtti? it tastes like SHIT. how bout the giant ice cream monster?

i laugh at all of you who wholeheartedly believe this stuff.

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oh yes, we all wholeheartedly believe all this stuff and secondly ice cream?????
.
Where did you get such a foolish idea?

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Ice cream monster? Preposterous. Where would the meatballs go?

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Awesome, Mike’s back.
.
.
.
Wanker!
.
@Crulix, we have discussed this else where, Truth is a river. Everyone gets this. So stop thinking because you are the first boy in the class to grow pubic hair you are somehow better than the world (Sorry, Mike’s here, it does that to me).
.
@Little Jimmy
“it tastes like SHIT”, That’s what the sauce is for with spaghetti. Olive oil, garlic and onion is really good. Some mussels or diced fried bacon is really great tossed in too. Argg, anyway me old seadog, well come to our fine vessel. We all be stout believers yere.
.
@FSM Raper, we aren’t atheists. You aren’t quite making sense. Have you ever been approached on the street by a Pastafarian trying to get you to come to a BBQ to push his religion down your throat followed by a one hour discussion on your beliefs because he thinks you must be deranged and subnormal for not believing in the FSM (I’m not bitter, he went away doubting)? We try to convert no one, you come here willingly. Most of the above religion pushing goes for Atheists too, they aren’t exactly known for it. May you grow more wise sanddog.
.
Are there any tagliatelle witnesses out there yet? If so, can we shoot them for all of our sakes.
.
A useful sauce (sic) of information
http://www3.sympatico.ca/joanne.magliocco/pasta_shapes.htm

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@ teddy, well why not make it church of the flying spaghetti monster w/ sauce and garlic? still tastes bad; becuz what ur saying isnt the flying spaghetti monster alone. lol

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@ little jimmy: hmm……… shit, not exactly what i would say it tasted like but you can have your own oppinion. because you dont have to like the taste of somthing to beleive in it any way do you? do you think that catholics all like the taste of human flesh for beleiving (rather big headedly) that god is a huge big man in the sky with a couple of dead peaple?

oh and from a wile back

@Atheist Joe: english isn’t my first language and also i was typing very fast because i needed to catch a train.

and from more recently

@little jimmy….. again: he couldn’t have sauce and garlic aswell because when he is flying around at highspeeds it would dribble off leaving some form of supernatural goo from witch uncontrolled life would be bursting from, also garlic smells bad so we would be able to smell him near by and i doubt he would like a bundle of crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alkter the results of their tests would he?

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“crazed scientist lashing around wildly with giant nets every time he came to alter the results of their tests would he? ”
.
FSM-catching scientists…now there’s a hilarious image.

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Yeah… they’d fail miserably of course, and would be so taunted by the smell of garlic and bacon that they’d immediately run to the local pastorama for a little noodley benefaction.

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That girl is fuckin ugly!

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The FSM is almighty,
God can suck his noodles,
Id pay too see that shit.

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The FSM is almighty,
God can suck his noodles,
Id pay too see that shit.
Shmow,
RAmen!

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Oob,

I think the lighting is unflattering.
She’s got a cracking pair of jugs! I think!

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Oob Feb 5th, 2007 at 4:46 pm

That girl is fuckin ugly!
.
Yeah? I think she’s cute, guess it’s just a matter of opinion.
I think your left hand is fuckin’ ugly!
See beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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you guys think about it a guy made this site and they say that when u go to heven u get beer and stripers come on think about it only a guy would say that!!!!!!!! dear lord y cant they all believe in you im ashamed of these ppl please show them the way and forgive them of being so dumb and beliving in spegitti and not u

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@the bomb!
Actually the site was constructed by a beer guzzling lesbian, that’s pretending to be a guy. But we love him, uh I mean her, and his great discovery. You don’t believe in spaghetti? Go to the store, man. It is all around you, or at least on the pasta isle.

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great site. bless the FSM.

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@Serah
Welcome!

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Yep! Welcome serah.
May you be forever touched.
Ramen

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Are you all serious? Pasta monster… What in God’s green Earth? Who in their right mind would believe in a giant spaghetti monster, or whatever the thing is? You people are the strangest I have seen in a while. Although this is funny… I got a kick out of the pictures though XD

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This is a messege to all the “omg i hate u this isnt funny god is going to smite you” people. If this site offends your religious sensebilities, leave. Nobody here is bothering you. If you don’t have anything nice to say…. Besides, no one is listening to you anyway.

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me and the flying spagetti monster are gona get engaged have a big wedding nd then have his pasta babies ! !
:-) ;-)

i wana lick his pasta skin off !

nd suck on his meatyballs! ummmmmmmmm!

things that make you go mmmmm!

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i am a fellow bert basher pastafarian. i come from the wonderful world of the Stripper Factory. my mother drank from the beer volcanoes and i was created

fsm beats god anyday

i am another bert basher pastafarian. i dig the fsm!! marry me oh noodly one!!!

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FSM FTW!!!

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….errr, are the meatballs kosher? I mean, it says in an old book that I can’t possibly eat them if they’re not.

Sorry. I think I’ll just have the garlic bread (with the garlic on the side). Thanx

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naha

just thought i’d comment

it’s obvious that God will win

NOT

FSM RULES

Ramen xxxx

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I used to look like this ¬_¬ but now I look like this ^_^! The wonderful spaghetti monster has opened my eyes to the world. I am proud to call myself a devout Pastafarian.
I always knew there was something about pasta. x

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Welcome sceptic. May you be touched by His Noodly appendages. Hang around the site for a bit if you like.

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THERE IS NO GOD!! ONLY THE MONSTER!!!

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cybnetic – Ok – no need to shout, some of us are nursing hangovers!

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Ain’t that the truth!

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Interesting comments.. :D

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where the heck is the proof?

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I hate to tell you this, but there is a rival FSM, albeit without meatballs or eyes.

Is this the anti-FSM?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fasta_Pasta_Logo.png

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this whole thing is absolutely idiotic. i don’t care what anyone says or what “proof” they have, there is NOT a flying spaghetti monster.

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@curious Apr 28th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
“this whole thing is absolutely idiotic.”
.
Is not….nerrr (*poking tongue out*)
.

“there is NOT a flying spaghetti monster.”
.
You have proof to back up your statement?

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Well Curious, I don’t care what YOU say, there IS a FLYING Spaghetti Monster, but I will accept any proof you offer to the contrary, I have an open mind. You do have proof don’t you?

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im speechless…i cant beileve someone would be soooooo lonely too come up wif a *religion* if its even worthy to be called a religion and then mock GOD..i mean cmon do ppl actually steep that low these days..if you are such a religious grup as you say you are..then wheres the respect for other religions if mocking GOD is a show of respect then i think you might have to rethink that…please dont show your immature and stupidity to the world…evidence that their is no such thing call a *FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER* is that firstly pasta is a food not a live creature and also a monster is all science fiction…because their is actually NO living proof that monsters actually exsist and also why would anyone in their rite mind want to worship something they can eat!! which means their *GOD* is actually POWERLESS & WORTHLESS…and if you have to mock someone..why not mock other gods like buddah ect ect rather then mocking my GOD…im not saying this only because im a christian but im saying this because i think its quiet pathetic that you have no lifes and actually waste your time thinking about rubbish like this…

1: get a LIFE..like a social life with REAL friends remeber
2:chating on the internet to your cyber friends is not SOCIALING
3:if your gonna make up a religion then umm try and actually make a realistic god okay
4:and sorry but i dont find this funny at all…please make yourself useful and actually use your time doing something useful

thank you and GOD BLESS YOU

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Respect is must be earned, and it can be lost, and that goes for religion as much as it does for anything else. I think that for most people here they have lost (nearly) all respect for Christianity because of silliness like ID, the silliness of the literalists, the fact that the Bible itself is inconsistent and full of historical errors, the circular reasoning called faith, and as one person pointed out, every single thing the Bible says about the physical nature of the universe is simply wrong. (The sun does not revolve around the Earth, the continetns do not float on the water, evil spirits do not cause disease, and badies are not made by having a man plant his seed in a woman.) Add to that the dangerous and greedy political ambitions of the fundies and I wonder why Christianity is merely mocked here. I’m with Richard Dawkins on this one in that it is well past time when special allowances are made for religions just because they are religions.
.
Oh, and Buddha was not a god. Even so, why would it be more acceptable to mock Buddha than your god?
.
FSM is no less realistic, and no less made up, than the Christian god.
.
I don’t see why anyone in their right mind would worship anyone or anything.
.
Thank you for the polite tone of your post.

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ONI
“why not mock other gods like buddah ect ect rather then mocking my GOD”
.
………….Oh, we do :)
.
“get a LIFE..like a social life with REAL friends remeber”
.
…………..Got one thanks! Some of us even have jobs where we have to spell things correctly.
.
“and sorry but i dont find this funny at all…”
.
…………..That would be your problem. Not ours!
.
FSM bless you my child
RAmen

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@ Mike Meier & Alchemist – Well, you about covered it! I had some thoughts while reading ONI’s post, but you beat me to it…ah well!

@ ONI – I am PROUD to call these people my friends. I have never found a more worthwhile, intelligent, funny, caring group.

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To them who say that it shall be we what burn in hell, what be put aside by YER god… I laugh at thee… an ‘ave nought but this to say to yee… TIS YOUR HELL… YOU BURN IN IT

Ramen

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I never thought the concept of hell was good, just because you were born before Jesus came doesn’t mean you should still be burning there today.

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The ironic thing about ONI is that “Oni” is the Japanese word for “demon”. So what business does a demon have prattling about mocking God?

Oh, and just what the hell is “SOCIALING”, anyway? Could perhaps Mister Demon learn how to “SPEL” one of these days?

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Mike T,
.
You’re not in to ‘Socialing’- it’s all the craze.
Everyone is doing it these days….

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Apparently socialing is real. Found this:
.
Student Restrictions – Certain disciplinary actions may lead to the following
consequences for the students involved:
.
Campusing – This means being restricted to campus for a set amount of time. The student will be permitted to leave campus only for church services, regular off-campus work or Christian service activities.
.
Socialing – Most dating infraction penalties will include a social penalty. The
length of time the social penalty will be in force will be determined by an Honor Court or
the Deans. Socialing means the following: No off campus dadating. The couple may not attend on-campus social or athletic events together, eat meals together, sit in chapel together, attend fine arts events together. The couple may not ride to or sit together in church off-campus. The couple may not walk or sit together on campus.

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Where did you find it?

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http://www.clearwater.edu/The_Guide_06.pdf

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You guys are doosh bags wtf with a flying plate of spagetti noodles u all need some psy help.

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i was blind and now i can see!this is my way of life now lots of love scuber….age….3:). ps…i love the hate mail.made me smile xxx

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The doosh bags are at Clearwater Christian College!
look at the forced ‘you will get beaten if you don’t smile’ expressions of the students on their home page:
.
http://www.clearwater.edu
.
Everyone of those kids has a desperate ‘help me help me I’m only pretending to be happy’ expression.

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Ask anyone with a 2 year old, the FSM is real, we’ve all seen it, usually makes appearances around dinnertime. Can anyone make that claim about God? hmm…

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wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank
wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank wank

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Why is it excepted that a great man placed us all here on earth, yet FSM is so hard to believe? They both could be possible, and just because one is more widely practiced, doesn’t make it true. Anyways, this is a demonstration of how religions are started.

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A few months ago, a close [and crazy] friend of mine informed me of the FSM. I am not exactly sure of what is really out there. I guess all religions have this idea that there is something or someone that put us all here. Some think that it is science, and all that jazz. Some believe that this magical “man” called “God” got bored one day and decided to create man. Which is pretty stupid, if you ask me.

Anything is possible, and being open-minded is the only thing you can do when you’re not sure, and no one else is of what is going on around you. I love FSMism, because it’s exactly what I had been looking for in a “religion.”

It’s fun, and I guess that’s what life should be about, is just having some FUN!!

Really though, this is pretty resonable.

=]

Good luck to all of you who are trying to figure things out.

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Avast me matey’s i see now clearer with my one good eye the glory of the FSM. I set my sail full with his divine presence as i set me rudder to the convolution of Theologian triangle of the past. Arrrrgh! Yo ho and three cheers to our kind meatball-ed one.

May his glory be tolerated by all, may his teachings get some footnote in an email you send, and may his noodly appendage enter into our lives in the most dire of times, and the best of times. Here here!

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People, this site is a total joke, i stay being catholic

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You guys are insulting other religions, that’s a bad thing you know?

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I just wanted to say that i have been a pirate now for about 3 years and i had not come across this religion untill a mate of mine introduced me to this and it basicly follows the pirate way minus the FSM buts thats kool and i am now a follower and a preacher of the faith

GARRRRRRRRRRR
Pirate Tefer Captain of the pink pike

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Welcome Pirate Tefer. Glad to see you take a more thinking-oriented approach than omgggggg. omgggggg, care to tell us why we should not mock a religion like your Catholicism where you’re supposed to let a bunch of old men in Rome do your thinking for you, as far as religion is concerned? How can anyone with any confidence or self-respect go along with a hierarchy- and obedience obsessed group like that?

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Hi Pirate Tefer, pull up a barrel and get comfy.
Sorry omggggggg – we don’t realise, we’ll stop right away, just as soon as the religious ones stop bombing the crap out of each other and telling us how to live our lives – K?

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I’m stalking you DPG!

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well the was i see life is that its a lot like a pirate ship u have the ship which represents the planet u have lots of different types of mpeople all with there own ideas and opinions not everyone is going to agree so of course there are going to be arguments but we still have to get along or were sunk so if u treat people with respect and listen to what ever they have to say u may be suprised at how good there comments can be also life is to short to argue over trivial crap “lifes short drink fast” :p had to be said
Garrrrrrrrr

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But we’re pirates, we have to fight the fundies!
Load the cannons with satire! Pass the rum! Land Ho!

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yer but theres a time to fight and a time to drink (or both) plus all those god worshipers are commiting a sin by telling us to fuck off because we dont belive what they belive “thou shall love thou neighbour” maybe not those words but u get the point
Garrrrrrrr

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Yeah, yeah, whatever, I am in the mood for a fight!
Where’s that axe?

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torrey
fsmism rules!!!!!!!

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Ahoy!

I really like pastafarianism, it’s the best religion I’ve ever seen! To tell the truth, I don’t like religions at all, and I don’t believe in any of them… But this one is fun! I still not “believe”, but I like it:) May His Noodly Appendage touch you all! Oh, can’t wait for the Beer Volcano:P

ps:
for all those who say “you are dumbs to seriously believe in this ***”, I think that it is rather you who prove to have some mental problems by posting comments like this…

ps#2:
English is only my second language, sorry if what I write is not too clear…:)

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Hanzo,
.
Avast! Welcome aboard!
.
It’s OK if you don’t truly believe in the FSM. The FSM will be the first to tell you that He doesn’t exist, so I doubt he has a problem with followers coming here just for the free beer.
.
RAmen, OEJ

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@Hanzo
One of the 8 “I’d really rather you didn’t” statements in the Gospel of the FSM states that He is ok with it if you don’t believe in Him, he’s not that vain. So pull up a chair, make yourself at home, post some more. Welcome to your new spiritual home.

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If the FSM was the first to tell you he doesn’t exist he would be lying!
If he doesn’t even admit that he doesn’t exist, then how can you say you’ve proved he doesn’t exist.
If you can’t prove something doesn’t exist that is as good as proving it exists.
Since you can never make something that doesn’t exist admit it the FSM exists.
.
RAmen and QED.
.
Thomas Aquinas eat your dead buried and rotted to dust heart out.

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Sorry about that last post.
I’ve been talking to Christians and their half-baked nuttiness starts to rub off on you!

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Does anyone make an embroidered “I’d really rather you didn’ts” thing I could frame and put on a wall at home? Like the 10 commandments or “home sweet home” things, but better.

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A great comments! What a unique concept that provokes the human
spirit and connects with others! May you all be thy blessed noodle!
All of us TOGETHER!

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FSM DOESN’T EXIST. BOBBY IS JUST A SPAWN OF SATAN TRYING TO CORRUPT YOUR SOULS. DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM. THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD WHICH ACCEPTS YOUR REDEMPTION WITH HIS ARMS OPEN WIDE. REDEMPT FOR YOUR SAKE. DON’T MAKE JESUS’ SACRIFICE USELESS. PLS DO NOT UPSET THE ONE WHO CREATED US ALL AND WHO WILL ALWAYS LOVE US. PLS.

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this si the best website on the intraweb that has a comment from a guy called dude so to get to business we all now know that john howard is going out with peter costello but the real news is that george bush is in love with his dog called bob on the moon with elmo
from the dog
PS george bush also loves the flying spaggetti monster

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Dale – you just don’t give up, do you? I suppose you haven’t realized that most people who visit this website do so to be in an environment where they don’t have to put up with the type of things you are saying and can openly criticize (ie, make fun of) fundies such as yourself.

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hiya dale.
so god’s arms are wide open and accepting now? as far as knew, after reading the bible (it wasn’t in the fiction section of the shop, much to my disappointment), it seemed to me that any wrong turn you make in life you end up in hell. that’s not acceptance, that’s a religious organisation corrupting masses of people so that noone steps a toe out of line. nothing like resorting to fear as a lifestyle coice.

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you scare me….alot

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Dale – you need to up the prescription. You are having fantasies about jewish zombies.
.
If god will always love me, why should I care if god is upset? It would be very un-loving to send me to a nasty place for just being me and exercising free will.
.
@Goldykat – who scares you, Dale or pastafarians?

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cant wait for the FUCKING BEER VOLCANO AND THE STRIPPER FACTORY FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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did i scare goldycat?

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neB revirD, Welcome to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You have clearly been touched quite vigorously with his noodly appendage.
Remember we don’t encourage people to accelerate their journey to the beer volcano and strippers.

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Yes – welcome neB. Plenty of room at the beer volcano. Watch out for Lilith though – she gets up early and claims the best spot with her towel :)

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*bows down*

the glory of the flying spaghetti monster hath been shown!

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Ari,
Although your genuflection is appreciated remember the FSM does not require groveling.
He just isn’t that vain.

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About 90 percent of those who are about to die (old persons, badly wounded persons, etc) asks for a priest who can help them be forgiven/who can tell them about God and the Christian belief… When all of you who disobeys God and Jesus realize that you are forever lost, then you can not go back, you are doomed. – Those who have heard about the Christian religion and who then disobeys it/choose not to believe, are forever lost. (You will most probably laugh at this point, but not when you are dead).
I wonder how many of you guys who are NOT afraid of dying, and who has to cover your scared and unsure asses in this fsm stuff… I also wonder how many times a day you worry about what happens after death, etc.

And, yeah; you will of course laugh of this text. – You might actually want to post something “hilarious funny” back at this. – But wait, what would that change..? Nothing at all.

The sad thing is this; some of you who “believe in the fsm” were about to get Christian once. But when you could never “see” God, etc etc, you chose not to believe. – That itself explain how little you know about the whole point with the Christian religion.

But yeah, go ahead, I can not save any of you all by myself, so… In time you will see -That you lost.

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“You will most probably laugh at this point, but not when you are dead).”
.
Hello Bob
“I wonder how many of you guys who are NOT afraid of dying, and who has to cover your scared and unsure asses in this fsm stuff”
.
Oh dear! Oh dear…..HDD :(
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage Bob
RAmen

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“About 90 percent of those who are about to die (old persons, badly wounded persons, etc) asks for a priest who can help them be forgiven/who can tell them about God and the Christian belief…”
.
No doubt hedging their bets.
I’m rather speechless on this post…no idea where to even start..

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I hope you fsm guys are note grown ups!

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All my brain cells just ran and curled up in a corner hiding. I think I’ll go join them now….

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@Bob,
Are you saying my Death bed confession won’t work?
Crap, Guess I need a new plan.
.
I’m not afraid of dying, I’m living now, so I guess it must end someday.
Do I think about what happens after? Why should I?
Will worrying about something I can’t change help me?
BTW, When you die, you stop living, it’s over that’s all.
.
You are correct, you can’t save me by yourself, however…
If your buddy God, were to show up, and prove himself to me, I’d give it a thought.
.
Peace,
PP

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He has been sent to test our lack of faith, let us not react!

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“Oh dear! Oh dear…..HDD :(
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage Bob
RAmen”
“No doubt hedging their bets.
I’m rather speechless on this post…no idea where to even start..”

Would you be so kind and explain, in details what that is supposed to mean? – What are your thoughts about the fsm? – Why do you have to attack the Christians? (If you can not come up with something more than a 4 lines long answer, then you have clearly nothing to say.)

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“He has been sent to test our lack of faith, let us not react!”

What faith? Beer volcanoes and strippers? What is good about that? No eternal life in joy, nothing more than drunk people and bitches? Your “religion” has no moral, no goodness, nothing. The persons who “believe” in this shit, have clearly lost their minds. The fsm stuff is made up simply because they are afraid of God.

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oh dear ralpO, you’ve clearly missed the point of FSM!

By arguing against us you are arguing against your own beliefs!

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”

oh dear ralpO, you’ve clearly missed the point of FSM!
By arguing against us you are arguing against your own beliefs!”

Okay, now that was stupid. Absolutely no logic in that, at all.
Would you mind explain yourself so that I can actually manage to understand your way of thinking? If not, then be quiet.

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“Why do you have to attack the Christians?”
“nothing more than drunk people and bitches? Your “religion” has no moral, no goodness, nothing. The persons who “believe” in this shit, have clearly lost their minds.”
.
Can anyone spot the hypocrisy? :)

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Can you prove the FSM is not the true creator ralpO?

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To be enlightened you need to read “The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster”, ISBN: 9780007231607. Available from all good book shops.

What has logic got to do with religion, I ask you?

RAmen.

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@ralpO
“If you can not come up with something more than a 4 lines long answer, then you have clearly nothing to say”
.
Oh I have some to say ralpO :))
But it’s getting late pm where I am …if you care to check back here tomorrow….
In the meantime….
RAmen

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Nikiee: defenitly HDD :)
*
ralpO: they started it! Plus it’s fun, specially when they froth at the mouth :)
*
Bob: As you say, it’s hard to laugh when you are dead. I’ll just take my change now then: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (etc) .

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}:-}

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@ JohnK Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:04 am
oh dear ralpO, you’ve clearly missed the point of FSM!”oh dear ralpO, you’ve clearly missed the point of FSM! By arguing against us you are arguing against your own beliefs!”
.
@ralpO Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:06 am
“Okay, now that was stupid. Absolutely no logic in that, at all.”
.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROFL

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Didnt FSM create GOd?

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@ralpO: the whole idea of the FSM is not to attack any religion, but to show how ridiculous it is, to put religion into science classes. Those are ideas and beliefs and myths, you can believe in whatever you want, but it has nothing to do with science.
That’s the whole point, get it?
Of course, most of the people who really get the whole thing, don’t believe in a god, but you could be even Christian AND Pastafarian, it’s possible.
The fact that there are more than one religions (with strong believers) here on earth makes a ‘true’ one very unlikely, doesn’t it?

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P.S. except the FSM, of course, that’s the only True Religion!! ;P

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Lilith♥ Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:32 am
“except the FSM, of course, that’s the only True Religion!!”
.
I think the Christians know in their hearts that the FSM is the real creator and that’s why they come here to attack us. They are clearly worried by our very existence.
RAmen

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“@ralpO: the whole idea of the FSM is not to attack any religion, but to show how ridiculous it is, to put religion into science classes. Those are ideas and beliefs and myths, you can believe in whatever you want, but it has nothing to do with science.
That’s the whole point, get it?
Of course, most of the people who really get the whole thing, don’t believe in a god, but you could be even Christian AND Pastafarian, it’s possible.
The fact that there are more than one religions (with strong believers) here on earth makes a ‘true’ one very unlikely, doesn’t it?”

1: Who puts religion into science classes? Science and religion are indeed not related.
2: If you call the Christian belief a myth, you show how little you know.
3: If you knew anything about Christianity, you would not say that being a Christian AND a “pastafarian” at the same time, is possible.
4: Those who have felt God/Jesus, know what is right, and what are wrong. You “pastafarians” have chosen not to understand Christianity, you do probably not want to hear it either. (Unless for fun)
5: Many of those who do not believe in Christianity, have repent. – They never regretted it.

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“I think the Christians know in their hearts that the FSM is the real creator and that’s why they come here to attack us. They are clearly worried by our very existence.
RAmen” Haha, of course! I believe in the santa and a mysterious monster in my WC, too.

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Read the Open Letter, before judging! They indeed succeeded in Kansas to put the Bible-stories into science classes as an ‘alternative’ to Evolution! This was the whole reason why the FSM was ‘discovered’ in the first place. If they claim, that Genesis of the Bible should be taught as an alternative to Evolution, then ALL religions with all their different views of earth’s origin must be taught, too! including this one.
That was the whole point, Bobby wanted to make.

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BTW I know of way more former Christians who are Atheists now than vice versa ;)

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Why are you taking the fsm serious, then?

You do not believe in the “alternate” way to Evolution, and you do not believe in the “science way” to Evolution?

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*Sigh*…
.
@Bob, may I ask where you got your statistic? What demographic does it refer to? Is it limited geographically, if so to where? If not, my I ask what non partisan orginisation conducted the survey, and why (this, mind you, is often not the same as where you got the statistics from)?
.
Unless you can provide references, please annotate all numbers you give with the phrase “in my opinion” (or something to that effect), otherwise you are commiting a form of fraud, and your comment will not be regarded as valid.
.
As for the deathbed conversion, stow it. The “no athiests in a foxhole” schtick has been used to death. It is a highly offensive line.
To my knowledge, there has not been one verifiable shred of evidence presented to upport this view. Considering that I spend a fair whack of my time debating this very topic, I think it would have come up if there was.
What possible reason would we have for it?
WE DON’T BELIEVE IN A GOD!
.
To us, the idea of turning to a god on our deathbed is as alien as the idea of turning to a toaster for moral guidance is to you. We don’t “deny god”, we just accept that there is no valid reason for believing in him (faith is *not* a reason). IF there is a god at the end of all of this, and assuming it both
a) gives a rat’s arse about humanity
b) can talk to us after we’re dead and
c) is even remotey reasonable
we athiests have nothing to worry about. We lived our lives in our lives, and tried to be good people for no other reason then being good.
.
We have nothing to fear. However, what of those who claim to follow the will of such a being, yet blatantly disregard the vast majority of its supposed commands? If I was them, then I would fear death. As is, it is just one more adventure.
.
So grow some balls and face us with real arguments, rather than resorting to a baldfaced lie.

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“BTW I know of way more former Christians who are Atheists now than vice versa ;)”

Wow, they must feel sad. I bet some of them will repent later in their lives. :) – They should.

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I have nothing against religion, if some people need to be threatened to be a good person. But they shouldn’t misuse it or claim they are the only ones who are right.
For me, it is like children have to believe in Santa Claus, to behave.
But I want this place to be a good place to live in peace and health for my children and their children, that’s enough reason for me to try to live a good life. I think this life is the only one we have, so we have to make the best out of it! We are the ones who have to restore peace, save the environment and love others, there is no Santa in the sky who will snip his fingers and do it for us!

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And that is why I enjoy life so much, I don’t look forward to a next one :)))

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We are all very serious about spreading the word of the FSM!

You are welcome to be enlightened by conversion ralpO… come…. come with us…. join….. freedom of mind awaits! (everyone together, use your mind bullets!)

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Yes, JohnK, and happiness you’ve never felt before! Come, feel the light and the warmth in your stomach (be it Pasta or Grog)!

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“5: Many of those who do not believe in Christianity, have repent. – They never regretted it.”
.
… and here we go again. RalpO, many people who do not believe in hinduism have converted (converted, not repent, c-o-n-v-e-r-t-e-d). So have many who do not believe in;
Buddhism
Islam
Shintoism
Wicca
Bahai
Judaism
Athiesm
Agnosticism
Rastafarianism
etc…
.
As for some of your other comments;
.
“If you call the Christian belief a myth, you show how little you know.”
.
Let’s see…
myth – noun – tale with supernatural characters, usually of how the world and mankind began. Collins Pocket Dictionary and Thesaurus. Sounds pretty apt to me…
.
“4: Those who have felt God/Jesus, know what is right, and what are wrong. You “pastafarians” have chosen not to understand Christianity, you do probably not want to hear it either. (Unless for fun)”
.
Please, for the love of pasta, get some facts before making wild accusations. I was born and baptised catholic, raised anglican, have gone through the whole faith thing. I was even in religious boy scouts for Pete’s sake. I’m hardly exceptional here. We all know a fair bit more about the faith then you give us credit for. We’ve been there, and grew out of it.

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RAmen, Jingles! Even though it might be no use…

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i didn’t think he needed a sword mto destroy his enemies

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I like the form chosen by FSM for this battle. He/She/It should appear to us all as an attractive Asian girl far more often. This would definitely help us to convert more gamers and white males who live in their parents’ basements.

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You will most probably laugh at this point, but not when you are dead

Atheists would agree with that.
We Pastafarians would agree too. We’ll be too busy drinking beer and oggling strippers to bother with trivialities from our mortal lives.
RAmen.

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Hah. Hello, my name is: God.

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So frustrating to read some of these Christians replies to logic.

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Wags, If they understood logic they’re hardly likely to be Christians now are they.
Shish! Get with the programme.
The most logical and intellectual founded religion is Pastafarianism.
The holy book of Pastafarianism contains more graphs than all the other mainstream religions put together.
.
Ours is the only religion firmly backed up by hard science.
RAmen.

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@Jingles
RAmen to the couple of well-spoken and reasoned posts you made there. The sort of posts that make me happy to have become an atheist (like you after Catholic upbringing). And sorry if my reply is going to be of a less patient nature.
.
@ralpO
“BTW I know of way more former Christians who are Atheists now than vice versa ;)”
Wow, they must feel sad. I bet some of them will repent later in their lives. :)”
.
Would you care to place money on that bet? I have few moral objections to fleecing the gullible and ignorant, so let’s talk cash here.

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@ Jingles – excellent posts!!! I don’t have time to jump in the discussion right now. :(((

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@ralpO Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:40 am
“2: If you call the Christian belief a myth, you show how little you know.
“4: Those who have felt God/Jesus, know what is right, and what are wrong. You “pastafarians” have chosen not to understand Christianity, you do probably not want to hear it either. (Unless for fun)”
“5: Many of those who do not believe in Christianity, have repent. – They never regretted it.”
.
@Lilith♥ Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:46 am
“BTW I know of way more former Christians who are Atheists now than vice versa ;)”

@ralpO Aug 23rd, 2007 at 6:49 am
“Wow, they must feel sad. I bet some of them will repent later in their lives. :) – They should.”
.
Check this link out ralpO
.
http://richarddawkins.net/convertsCorner
.
RAmen

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ALL HAIL FSM
BEST RELIGON EVER!!!!!!!

May we all be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

RAmen!

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ALL HERE WILL look back and realize “what a waste of time”.

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Ted Linguini
Aug 23rd, 2007 at 10:12 am
I like the form chosen by FSM for this battle. He/She/It should appear to us all as an attractive Asian girl far more often. This would definitely help us to convert more gamers and white males who live in their parents’ basements.
ahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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that was expected…

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wow you guys are fucking fags if u really believe all of this bull shit

like wowo you are fuckin stupid

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Just goes to show that even dressing up as the Spaghedeity gives you the power to destroy all false gods.

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What does wowo mean?
.
Honestly folks – is it that difficult to use a keyboard? This isn’t IM or txt u no! You can use real words.

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haha, I love the christians spreading the hate towards us. What happened to love thy neighbor?

RAMEN!

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What does the FSM in all his might, have to say about ninjas??
are ninjas some kind of hated missing link or something?? Somebody shed some light on my situation please.
Or is there anything about it in the gospel, cause i have that too :P

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Ninjas are disliked becuase they hunted down the pirates and caused a gloabl increase in tepurature by lowering the number of pirates.

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Tsch..but we were in japan??? Weren’t we killing samurais all those years:?
OMG!!! we should have made that left turn at albuquerque.

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Why do Christians keep coming here to berate us? Why don’t Christians come here and congratulate us for our enlightenment? You don’t find Muslims or Communists or the French coming here and bad-mouthing the FSM; those are some nice people, very patient and understanding and caring.
.
It really makes no sense to me. I’m so sad. :( Why won’t they at least open their eyes for a moment to see his noodly appendage? The truth! The truth! The truth might set them FREEEEE! To be pirates!!
.
It seems they come here to declare themselves our enemies, and then complain that WE’RE victimizing THEM. I don’t go to their websites and praise pirates! I don’t go to their…uh, temple thingies, whatchamacallits…I don’t go there and tell them they’re all dumb!
.
Christians must be very rude people. :( The truth has blessed me, and I’d like to help them all, but I don’t dare try because they’re so nasty. :(

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Algolei

“You don’t find Muslims or Communists or the French coming here and bad-mouthing the FSM; those are some nice people, very patient and understanding and caring.”
.
hahahahahahaha!
.
I think we’ve had the odd Muslim but not too many. I can’t remember any French posters though.

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@ Algolei – I agree with you. I would never go to a Christian site and berate them, unless they specifically asked for opinions that differ from theirs. That doesn’t seem to be the case very often, I don’t think.
.
Alchemist – Hi! Getting along ok?

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Hi Saucy, yeah, not bad thanks, tired though. How about you and the family?

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Alchemist – Surprisingly, we’re ok. I’m off to try to buy my son some clothing that is at least somewhat made in the U.S.A. I’m not trying to be patriotic or anything like that. I’m just trying to not buy items that are toxic. I bought some dishes that were made in the U.S.A. a few days ago. That took some doing. I had to go to Walmart. I hate Walmart. I feel so dirty.

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Walmart – Sheryl Crow’s favourite store. Do they still sell cut-price guns and employ child labour?

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Alchemist – I don’t know. I steered very clear of the gun section while I was in there. I didn’t see any children working, but maybe that would have been an improvement over who was working there. I know that sounds horrible, and it is, but I find Walmart very depressing. Really. When I go to Walmart, I am faced head-on with sad truths about the U.S.A. and the human condition in general.
.
On the up side, I just got back from a 10-mile bike ride with my son in his seat on the back of the bike. I live in a rural area, and the countryside was absolutely spectacular today. We saw a giant flock of wild turkeys and then we directed some farmers to a newborn calf they were looking for that we happened to spot. I swallowed a couple of bugs in the process, but I’ll take that over Walmart every time.

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@ SaucyWench – The bike ride sounds great! :)) I’m sorry you had to go to Walmart. It’s about the only option in my town and I can tell you even a shower won’t help you feel clean after than! My massage therapy instructor calls it “The Evil Empire”!

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I’m too ashamed to say what my husband and I call Walmart. We’d get hate-mail just for that.

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@sw – i have read that you can have fun in walmart somewhere online!
one of the suggestions was to go to the gun section, pick up a gun, and say “where are the anti-depressants?” to a shop assistant. sounds funny. hehehe.
anyone got dried frog pills?

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@WO
That sounds like the kind of fun some of the muppets over here got up to after 9/11. in the airports.
.
“What is your reason for travelling?”
.
“I’m a terrorist!”
.
.
“Waaaaaaaaaaa – I was only joki…”
.
Got to love the Brits :D

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What is this blashphemy?

There is but One worthy of worship.

That is God Almighty.

If you truly believe in a Speghetti Monster that flies, then you have deceived your own self.

I’m not here to condemn you or your beliefs. I am here to tell you that Jesus loves you, and that He came and died on a cross to save you from your sins. It is up to you whether or not you accept Him.

Did a Spaghetti monster die for your sins?

Have you not read the truth where we are told that wine and strong drink (beer) maketh a man a fool, and that they are mockers? There went your beer volcanoes.

It isn’t too late. There is still a way! That way is Jesus Christ! Just come to Him admit that you are a sinner, and on you rway to hell and ask Him to save you. He WILL hear you!

Jesus loves you!

Peace be unto you.

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Josh Sep 20th, 2007 at 6:33 am
“I’m not here to condemn you or your beliefs.
“What is this blashphemy? There is but One worthy of worship. That is God Almighty.”
.
“If you truly believe in a Speghetti Monster that flies, then you have deceived your own self.”
.
“I’m not here to condemn you or your beliefs.”
“Have you not read the truth where we are told that wine and strong drink (beer) maketh a man a fool, and that they are mockers? There went your beer volcanoes.”
.
“I’m not here to condemn you or your beliefs.”
“Just come to Him admit that you are a sinner, and on you rway to hell and ask Him to save you. ”
.
Ok Josh…..glad you’re not one of those Christians that come here to condemn our beliefs….really glad :)
May you feel the touch of His Noodley Appendage
RAmen

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Just one more thing I feel I need to say then I will leave you people alone.

I do not at all like the way in which you have represented my God, the One that saved me from my sins, th eOne that sent His Son to die for my sins. I just do not like it all.

I also will say that i pray for you all, that th eHoly Spirit of God wil come down and lead you to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Peace be unto you.

P.S. I do not in any way come to you to condemn you. I fell upon this site from an outside source and saw this. I just thought I would reach out in the love of Christ to you all. I pray that you all will one day be in heaven with me.

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I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage and mark this day as the one I found the most awesome religion ever. My only regret is that I missed out on the most holiest Talk Like a Pirate Day.

After witnessing the reenactment above, I am convinced that FSM would in fact, kick god’s ass because I’m sure it happened just like that.

RAmen

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Josh, I hope not, you sound like a self-rightoeus (sp?) bore.

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@josh – but i wanna go to hell! it’s more interesting! pray for me and i’ll sue!!! …um…is that possible? anyone here know? pass the dried frog pills or the chainsaw – either one.

@frank – =( i missed it too! waaaah!

anyone know where i’d get a short wave radio in australia (or austria if you’re GWB)?

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also – anyone heard of kerning? if you have, think of what these would be if badly kerned.
clint eastwood
flicker
in allcaps.

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@ josh

“I do not at all like the way in which you have represented my God, the One that saved me from my sins, th eOne that sent His Son to die for my sins. I just do not like it all.”
.
.
when did we represent *your* god? apart from quoting the bible, of course. hmmmm…
bad grammar too…(”th eOne “)
.
sorry bout all the posts

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ya’ll are a bunch of perveted sickening people

ps. by the way josh knows wats he’s talking about and so wat if he had bad grammer he’s from the south

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Thanks for that Sean.
Good to know!

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It’s easy for people to belong to something they created, because its easy to understand, o wow you talk about life and all these deep philisophical topics…and pirates, its obviously a way for people who don’t belong to something to find meaning in their lives. Eventually all the people who started this will just be a bunch of cracked out hippies, and all they will have in 30 years are a few shirts and some good ol college memories, and their kids will duck around corners trying to avoid the embarassment of the parent wearing a shirt with a spaghetti monster on it.

Now lets see you all try to understand something deep, something with meaning, read the bible. Sure i sound like a jerk and not a very nice person, just tired of seeing people led astray in their lives to things that dont matter

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I read the bible, took a (forced) class in it once. It was a hoot! Makes Greek “mythology” look tame, considering it’s cobbled together from every religion in the world that came before it. Makes a good read if you’re really, really bored and ther’re no fundies posting…

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Try reading philosophy, like Lao Tzu. the Tao te ching says that, when all goodness leaves the world, religion takes its place.
Most people here would make good Taoists. They believe in LIVING LIFE and not spending it sacrificing joy in the name of a blinding “light.”
Pastamancers come in many forms, and the FSM has ninja and pirate in it. Ramen and Spaghetti unite into Super Ultra Flying Noodle Monster! Long live the pirate-ninja alliance!

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Chris·tian /ˈkrɪstʃən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[kris-chuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings: a Christian faith.
2. of, pertaining to, believing in, or belonging to the religion based on the teachings of Jesus Christ: Spain is a Christian country.
3. of or pertaining to Christians: many Christian deaths in the Crusades.
4. exhibiting a spirit proper to a follower of Jesus Christ; Christlike: She displayed true Christian charity.
5. decent; respectable: They gave him a good Christian burial.
6. human; not brutal; humane: Such behavior isn’t Christian.
–noun 7. a person who believes in Jesus Christ; adherent of Christianity.
8. a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of Christ: He died like a true Christian.
9. a member of any of certain Protestant churches, as the Disciples of Christ and the Plymouth Brethren.
10. the hero of Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress.
11. a male given name.

——————————————————————————–

[Origin: 1250–1300;

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Okay now all you christians out there acting as bible beaters, think about this…”christ like”….when christ came to this world did he visit and “chill” with the pharisees? NO, do you know why? Cause they were jerks.

phar·i·see (fār’ĭ-sē) Pronunciation Key
n.
Pharisee A member of an ancient Jewish sect that emphasized strict interpretation and observance of the Mosaic law in both its oral and written form.
A hypocritically self-righteous person.

if you dont like the dictionary definition here is one from the Bible:

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the Scriptures. So practice and obey whatever they say to you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush you with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to help ease the burden. Matthew 23: 1–4

Jesus even goes on to say:

Snakes! Sons of vipers! How will you escape the judgment of hell?

Moral of my story is know that as a christian that you are bluntly putting out there, that you do represtent christ and you will be held responcible for your actions as a christian pushing people away from christ.

P.S. you come on to this site to “correct” FSM’s views on christianity, but your just comfirming them, think about that for you litteraly are the reason this was all started. Get It?

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@ me
Very well said.
Nice to hear someone on the other side with a bit of commonsense.

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Making Fun of Christians??? Ah……….DUH !!!
FSM Bless You
Argh, Ramen

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Making Fun of Christians??? Ah……….DUH !!!
FSM Bless You
Argh, Ramen
Love this Belief !

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ahahaha smack his bitch ass down!

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Go FSM!!

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I had some Jehovah witness’s call into where I work earlier, I wish I had Told them about the flying spaghetti monster. The wouldnt accept that I believed in evolution.

FSM roooooolzz.

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Not even the combined forces of Jesus and God (Who I guess are the same person but kinda but not really) could defeat the divine power of His Noodly Appendage.

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Oh, forgot to add: WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

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i would jus like to say that i hav jus converted to the fsm religion along wit my 2 frends bobby and chad i heard about it from my frend rian c so all hail fsm!

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Yay!
Welcome aboard kevin – try to limit the txt spk though – or we might mistake you for a fundie!

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After seeing that I’m converted. FSM kicks arse, Ramen.

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So, you all believe that a giant spaghetti monster created everything, even peopole, and will save you?

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FSM ROOLZ! HE OWNZ MA BODIE!

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Ariel…we do…anything else I can do for you?

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God is real! and you shouldn’t say all of the bad things you say about him! He created everything: the universe, the earth, and everything in the earth (even people). How can you believe in a “spaghetti monster”? Just look at the earth and how it works, how everything works; is is not obvious that we and the earth and universe were created by a Divine Power (God)????
I’m not trying to preach or anything, but you all are making a big mistake!
A spaghetti monster won’t save you, only God can. He loves everyone, because he created everyone. How can anyone say he doesn’t love them, when God sent his one and only Son (Jesus) down to earth to die for and to save us so that when we die we could be with him?

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Why is your god better than ours or any other god there is?…Your religion was created way after other religions were on earth. Take the egyptians, the mayans, the aztecs, the pagans that lived in England.
Plus, your god is mean….he says that even if we are good people, we are going to burn in hell if we don’t believe in him…so…good actions are worth nothing?
.
They are worth something..but apparently it is not enough for your self-centered god.

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Ramshank and Ramen!

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Poor Jesus guy…he must be cursing back at you for twisting his image…

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@ Ariel can you explain how it is obvious t that some fairy created the world? and also how is it bad what is being said about your particular myth? I am sure you say similar things about other religions that have as much proof of being real as yours.

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I you don’t present me feasible proof that your Goody God exists…I will not show you mines!

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HOw do you like that….Ariel?

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You know Fool…I think he left…or she…

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Yes, typical fundy, comes ins spits out their garbage, and runs at the first sign of intelligence

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I think with all his noodly appendages, FSM would lick the tar of of God in anything from wrestling to boxing to kick boxing. Better watch you step God, or FSM will open up a can of Whoopass on you

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@Fool – Totally agree…bastard.

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One way I can prove God is real is through his Word ( the Bible). There has been no evidemce to prove the Bible to be false. The Bible has been proven to be true by the following: Fulfilled prophecies. There is evidence of prophecies being fulfilled, even after the one who prophesied had died (prophecies of Christ’s birth 100 or so years before it happened, prophecy of the flood, etc.).
The Bible is historically accurate. The Hittites’ record and capitol were found in Bogazkoy, Turkey; the Hittites were thought to be a Biblical legend. In the 1970’s the Elba archives, in northern Syria, has proven the writings about the Patriarchs to be true. In Isaiah 20:1 the Bible speaks os Sargon (the Assyrian king), this was thought to be false; since no records of him could be found anywhere. Then, they discovered his palace in Khorsabad, Iraq. It speaks of Sargon’s capture of Ashdod in Isaiah 20, and a record of this was found on the palace walls. The Bible is scentifically accurate. Many principles of modern science were stated as facts in the Bible way before scientists confirmed that they were with experimentation; such as: The earth is round, the law of increasing entropy, the importance of blood, the gravitational field, an enormous amount of stars, the law of conservation of energy and mass, the hydrological cycle, the atmospheric circulation, etc.
The Bible has 66 books and was written by 40 (or even more) different men over a 2,000 year period, and it is consistent and perfectly united. The Bible has been proven also through personal testamonies. Those from the past and the present have testified and do testify (from personal experience) that the promises in the Bible are true.
The beauty and intelligent design of earth and the way our minds work: memory, thoughts, etc. our hearts, and organs, etc. all are also evidence that God exists.
Romans 1: 19-20 states, (19) “Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. (20) For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.”
God wants us all to be saved, but we can’t be saved unless we ask Jesus to come into our hearts and save us. We should always do good works, but good works are not what saves us; if that was so, then God would not have had to send his Son to die for us. But we are all sinful, no one is perfect. God is perfect and we cannot be where he is (in heaven) because of our sin. God knew that the only way that we could be with him was to provide a way for us to get to him and that is through his Son (Jesus). God knew that the only way was to sacrifice his holy and perfect Son to pay for our sins. Jesus willingly came to earth to die for us. Now, we have a way to be with God in heaven and that is by believing in Jesus and accepting him as our Lord and Savior (that is the only way to be saved). This is a free gift that God offers us and no one deserves it; but God did it because he loves us that much. John 14:6 says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” Romans 3;23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Everyone is a sinner, no one is perfect, no one is worthy of salvation; but God offers it to us anyways. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Also, Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
If you stilll don’t believe God is real, pray to him and ask him to show you that he is real and he will.

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haha=)

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@ Arial –
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Frankly, the first response that comes to mind is “bollocks”. Quite apart from the fact that the bible is neither historically or scientifically accurate, and I’ll leave it to the others to point out the fallacies in your statement that the bible “is consistent and perfectly united”, the concept of sin is a human construction which differs from culture to culture. The sins you say we all need to be forgiven for were seen as bad by a particular middle eastern Bronze Age tribe and wouldn’t have been an issue to many other groups of people before and since this, living in many different parts of the world. They would, however, have had a number of other mores which they would have considered equally unbreakable. In fact, not only would other cultures not refer to some of the things you dislike as sins, but in some instances one society will actively encourage what another tries to forbid.

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@Ariel- “One way I can prove God is real is through his Word ( the Bible).”
Err… If you look at the individual books of the bible, most are named after the author i.e. Mathew est. None of them are titled God. You invalidate ether you own point or the bible. If you invalidate the Bible, you invalidate your religion (with me so far?). If you invalidate yourself, you invalidate the bible too. See above.
So your point of view is invalided! Well done.
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“There has been no evidemce to prove the Bible to be false.”
How about that locusts have only four legs (I like that one). Bats aren’t birds! They are winged mammals!
The Earth has been geologically proven to be more than 6000 years old, way more!
All life was not created as is. Regardless of how much you try to ignore the evidence, it all supports evolution. You have to ignore the fossil record which shows life going back millions of years!
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“Many principles of modern science were stated as facts in the Bible way before scientists confirmed that they were with experimentation; such as: The earth is round, the law of increasing entropy, the importance of blood, the gravitational field, an enormous amount of stars, the law of conservation of energy and mass, the hydrological cycle, the atmospheric circulation, etc.”
Where does it mention those things? Oh wait it doesn’t! Also the biblical number for pi is exactly 3! Making all the engineers in the would liars in your opinion, and all the things they have made ungodly. This would include the PC you used to write your pathetic letter.
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“The Bible has 66 books and was written by 40 (or even more) different men over a 2,000 year period, and it is consistent and perfectly united.”
No there are hideous contradictions! That’s have a look at some shell we?
(I got a shit load from a simple Google search for fuck sake)
http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html
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God good to all, or just a few?
PSA 145:9 The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.
JER 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
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War or Peace?
EXO 15:3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.
ROM 15:33 Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.
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Who is the father of Joseph?
MAT 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
LUK 3:23 And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli.
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Who was at the Empty Tomb?
MAT 28:1 In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.
MAR 16:1 And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him.
JOH 20:1 The first day of the week cometh Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre.
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Is Jesus equal to or lesser than?
JOH 10:30 I and my Father are one.
JOH 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.
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GEN 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
GEN 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
*
GEN 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
GEN 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
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How many stalls and horsemen?
KI1 4:26 And Solomon had forty thousand stalls of horses for his chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen.
CH2 9:25 And Solomon had four thousand stalls for horses and chariots, and twelve thousand horsemen; whom he bestowed in the chariot cities, and with the king at Jerusalem.
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Is it folly to be wise or not?
PRO 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
ECC 1:18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
1 Cor.1:19: “For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and wil bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.”
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Human vs. ghostly impregnation
ACT 2:30 Therefore being a prophet, and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne;
MAT 1:18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
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The sins of the father
ISA 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for the iniquity of their fathers; that they do not rise, nor possess the land, nor fill the face of the world with cities.
DEU 24:16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.
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I could go on but I wont, there is little point you have been proven wrong by your own holy book!
It has been translated several times and had parts re-written to represent the goals and beliefs of whichever fascist regime was using it at the time.
Well done for making your self appear ignorant! It was a pleasure to pick apart some of what you said.
I won’t bother contradicting direct quotes you have made. As I have shown; the bible is so contradictory that you can support just about any view point by selective quoting.

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@Pluto – I really appreciate your posts, because they say everything I want to say and….I don’t have to write it!

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@Ariel-By the way I use to pray when I was a little boy. But nothing happened ever! I’m sure you pray we will see the ‘light’, but I’m guessing that’s not working ether?

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@Ariel. I wish you would not use this moniker. I have an excellent set of stereo speakers called Aeriel Acoustic 10T’s and I associate them with beautiful music. Also I associate Aerial with the Fairies in “A Midsommer Night’s Dream”, I also associate Aerial with a real hottie I dated last year.

I don’t want I beautiful name like that convoluted with the hysterical fundamentalist effluvia you are outputting.

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@neal- And the little mermaide

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that is also the name of an exboyfriend of mine…

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BTW, what geological evidence exists for a massive global flood 4-5 thousand years ago of sufficient magnitude to be either an extinction or a near exztinction event? Any goelogist out there want to weigh in and refute that one?

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@neal – the bastard needs to stop watching evangelical and watch some more Discovery Channel.

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I know that some one here was an archaeologist…Jennyanydots?

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Well now, if we are to have a bit of fun with the Hebrew mythology book – which, insofar as a good deal of the HISTORY, i.e., battles, kings, etc., has been found to be more accurate than previously thought – we might turn to something written by some current scholars of Jewish origin, and Israeli academic standing. Shall we?
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(After all, several of the history books tell us that they are merely synopses, or edited redactions, of records in the royal archives anyway; and the scroll that makes up the biblical “book” is somewhat parallel to what today might be seen as a Master’s Thesis, or Doctoral Dissertation, quoting sources.)
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Anyway, why not read, THE BIBLE UNEARTHED, written by Israel Finkelstein and Neil Asher Silberman. Finkelstein is associated with Tel Aviv University; and Silberman is associated with a renowned Jewish Archaeology Center in Belgium. Perhaps this work will aid in sorting out the “hysterical fundamentalist (funnymentalcase) effluvia” – Thank you, “Neal”. – from the reasonably useful part of mythological transcriptions. (And of course, the excellent pages of reference works – “footnotes” – may serve as guides to other sources for dealing with the confabulations of the bibliolatry cults as well.)

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Yep, that’s me. Have to admit, I was hoping someone else would be sciency enough to get into geological time periods and rock strata, as I’m by preference a medievalist and would hate to get some of this stuff even fractionally wrong, given it provides more ammunition, but give me a minute and I’ll see what I can do.

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By the way, Aerial, isn’t Jesus as God really saving us from God his murdering father. If God loved us SO MUCH why is he killing every living thing. All that your salvation means is that God will let you party with him AFTER he kills you. There would be no need for salvation if God did not hold against us (according to you own myth) the actions of someone hundreds of generations removed from us.

If anyone not named god decided to kill all the members of a species because of some imagined offense of an ancestor who lived thousands (I’m using your obviously ridiculous biblical timeline here) of years ago, we would consider him a genocidal maniac. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, or Atilla the Hun.

The only reason you buy into this pile of garbage is because someone brainwashed you into believing it before your critical reasoning faculties formed. Wanna know how many true believers there would be if we prohibited teaching children under age 14 your religiuos myths. Probably none.

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@neal- “what geological evidence exists for a massive global flood 4-5 thousand years ago of sufficient magnitude to be either an extinction or a near exztinction event?”
I was wondering how fast 2 of each animal and a hand full of humans would have to breed over that 4000 year period to reach the populations that we have today! One family eventually expanded to over 5billion people in a 4000 year time span? And you have to take into account all the wars famines and plagues that have affected the population over the millennia.
Any maths masters out there who want to give us some figures?

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Mind you, 5000 years ago is a little recent for most geologists anyway. The quick answer is that there isn’t any geological evidence for a flood at this time. To be honest, I very much doubt there’s any evidence for mass extinctions at that time either, given that we have remarkably consistant evidence that human life wasn’t being that dramatically altered, barring new technologies being developed. (NB – just checked, and the last mass extinction phase was circa 65 million years ago). Should there have been a mass exinction, it’s likely that none of the larger mammalian life forms would survive it, as they adjust to environmental conditions much slower than smaller ones, or than e.g. amphibians. One bit of geological ‘evidence’ claimed as proof of a flood is that stone on top of mountains contains bits of shell. So the suggestion is that there was a big flood, all of the little molluscs that had caused great offence to this merciful god drowned but floated up to the top of the mountains, then settled on the surface as the waters receded and sunk into the surface of these rocks that must have been much softer then (because of all the water, I suppose). Only these fossilised shells are found all the way through the types of stone that you find them in, so maybe god decided they were making the mountain tops look untidy and prodded them all deeper in. Noodly appendages would, of course, have made this task much easier. Or maybe the more conventional theory, that most sedimentary rock formation happened under water, or on mud flats, could possibly make more sense. What do you think?

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Aerial here’s the other think I love about the Christian myth. Jesus died for us, the father had to saxcrifice him.

Why did Jesus have to be butchered by the Romans. Answer: To propitiate his father. So let’s get this straight. My neighbor’s ancestor committs an offense against me. So, in order for me to forgive my neighbors transgression against me, I turn my son over to him so he can kill him. Makes so much sense when you deconstruct it that way, now doesn’t it.

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Here’s another one. I keep tropical fresh water fish. With a few exceptions, fresh water fish will die of dehydration if put in salt water and salt water fish will die of water poisoning if put in fresh (i.e. the cells of their bodies would swell and burst). This is because the concentration of water in a fresh water system is higher than in the fresh water fish’s body, this means that that water is constantly being absorbed by their bodies so must be continually excreted to stop water poisoning. Salt water fish are the opposite. They have a high concentration of water then the sea around them (due to all the salt) so must continually absorb water to replace that which transfuses into their surrounding.
So what’s my point? Well if there was a flood all the water would mix together. Concentrations of salt would change and so the only fish that would survive would be Mollies and a few others, as they can live in both. But that’s clearly not the case.

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@ Jennyanydots. Thank you. About what I thought. Last mass extinction in the Jurrasic period. So let see. Biblical creation myth refuted by evolution and modern cosmology.

BTW, that’s something the fundies never talk about. All the cosmological evidence of the 14+ billion year age of the universe. How do they account for the fact that the nearest galaxy’s light was created 2 million years before we see it, if all creaation is less than 5000 years old.

Then we have a mass extinction event that has no geological evidence to support it.

Finally, modern scholarship seems to indicate that there never was a period when the Hebrews were a captive people in Egypt.

Tough to prove the story of Abraham one way or the other.

But there you have it 3 out of 4 of the seminal myths of JudeoChristianism are patently untrue.

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My pleasure, neal.

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Let’s hope Ariel comes back to see if we’re converted yet. Might be nice to know he or she may at least try to rebut each of our points rather than just going back to that same old same old of telling us that it’s true because it’s in the bible and the bible is true so this is true. Gets somewhat circular after a while.

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@Jennyanydots- I think it’s called ‘Denial’.

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No doubt we’ll be threatened with hell and maybe a few earthly plagues, if we don’t start seeing things her way.

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Hello!
I have one quick question and then I have to go!
Did you all try asking God to show you he’s real?
bye!

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@ Ariel did you that Jesus was not a christian? he was a jew. circumcision and all.
Christianity was created by Saul of tarsis not any of the apostles, and that Saul lived about 20 yeasr after jesus was crucified? So how can you prove that Saul did not have one to many of the ‘good’ mushrooms when he wrote the bible. Also where are the rest of the ‘gospels’ there are only 4 int eh bible but there were 12 apostles. what the rest didi not know how to write or something? (answer to this ones is that the church decided that they had information that did not go along with their plans). Let me know if you want me to showing you the truth.
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By the way Ariel because its in the bible does not mean it true, otherwise were did the dragons go?
they do get mentioned in a few places
# Deuteronomy 32:33
# Nehemiah 2:13
# Job 30:29
# Psalms 44:19
# Psalms 74:13
# Psalms 91:13
# Psalms 148:7
# Isiah 13:22
# Isiah 27:1
# Isiah 34:13
# Isiah 35:7
# Isiah 43:20
# Isiah 51:20
# Jeremiah 9:11
# Jeremiah 10:22
# Jeremiah 14:6
# Jeremiah 49:33
# Jeremiah 51:34,37
# Ezekiel 29:3
# Micah 1:8
# Malachi 1:3
# Revelation 12:3,4,7,9,13,16,17
# Revelation 13:2,4,11
# Revelation 16:13
# Revelation 20:2

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sorry for the typos and spelling, I am trying to type this while at work without getting caught, makes it more interesting

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@Ariel – I tried to sell him my soul cuz I want to go to England….guess what?! No answer!
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I tried to ask him for help when I was working 14-16 hours a day in a fucking sweatshop, guess what?! No answer…
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I asked him why my dad left me, gues what?! No answer
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YOu might want to fuck off..you are starting to get on my nerves. And I’m usually a very peaceful person.
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@Fool – I some of the apostle didn’t know how to write.

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@Pam -shh Ariel was supposed to make the connection then realize that they did not write the bible, and the writings that are supposed to be theirs more than likely are not. I know its too much to hope for but you never know. Trust me with these people you get much further using KY than without, no mater much more fun it is without.

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ohhh…KY…yeees. hahahahaa sorry…

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Hey, Ariel, would you kill your own child if God told you to? Abraham would have would you?

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I’m sorry about your dad PacificPam, I know that’s hard and hurtful. That’s sorta what’s going on with my mom, but I’ve forgiven her for what she’s done to me and my sister.
Neal,
Ya no? I’ve never really asked myself that. Yes, Abraham would have killed his son because he trusted that God knew what he was doing. Abraham knew that when his son died, he would be with God in heaven. Of course, God didn’t have him go through with it. This was how God tested Abraham’s faith. God tests our faith in different ways. I don’t think God would ask me to kill my child (if I had one) today though. (If) he did though, I would just have to trust that God knows what he’s doing – just like Abraham.

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Ariel, that’s not what that story is about, although that is how children read it. The story marked the end of blood sacrifices like this, at least in the ancient Jewish culture. Many of the books in the old testament were written, and preserved, specifically because they defined who the Jewish people were, or wanted to be, and not because it actually happened.
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The question of what the other apostles did is interesting. I don’t think that I have heard anything about what they did after the (mythical) crucifixion. Seems they just disappeared. Lost apostles, gives me ideas for a story somewhat along the lines of the Da Vinci files.

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@ Mike Meier. I imagine it was pretty easy to disappear in the first century roman empire. Bet most of the were scared shitless and took a powder. Maybe they became day laborers in Roman Britain or something?

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@Mike Meier Nov 30th, 2007 at 1:18 am: “The question of what the other apostles did is interesting. I don’t think that I have heard anything about what they did after the (mythical) crucifixion. Seems they just disappeared. Lost apostles, gives me ideas for a story somewhat along the lines of the Da Vinci files.”
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You could try and tell the Basque people (you know, those living in a region partly Spanish, partly French), whose origins are still unknown, that they actually descend from a lost apostle