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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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And here I thought that God was just one of the FSM’s cruel little jokes. Seems he’s actually a skinny white guy, and thus his defeat is a foregone conclusion.
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I don’t know if it was intentional, but that God has to wear that AA-meeting name tag is just too funny.
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Nice site.
I don’t get it – why should anyone be afraid of Hell?
After 1 000 000 years in pain, my friend, which is INFINITELY less time than infinity, you won’t feel any different than after 1 000 000 years in comfort. The reason we at all an feel pain is that pain is something we don’t feel 24/7. Those who DO feel pain 24/7 (painful disease etc) gradually stop feeling it in a matter of years, even shorter. Everything is relative – feelings too.
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For years I have sat listening to the words of priests…yet in the back of my mind there were always doubts…I came to realize that beings like midgets and Chuck Norris could not posibly be created by this “god” character….Now i truly can see that the only posible explanation is the flying shapgetti monster…All praise his Noodlyness!!!!
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wow… the truth…
ALL THESE WASTED YEARS
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i joined the church of the FSM believing that he did not discount other gods, but simply point out that they do not have as much hard evidence as him. I find the fact that the FSM killing another god rather mean.
RAmen
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EVERYTHIGN MAKES SENCE NOW
one sec…. i must lmfao, all the gung ho people posting statements abotu how the loayal follower of the Mighty FSM will “go to hell” and such…..LMFAO…..Twice. man they am real dumb if they think posting here…in our own domain will “covert” us…HAHAHA they’re funny
ill take beer volcanoes and dressing like a pirate anyday of the week
May you all be touched by his noodly apendage
Kaervar
Hakuna Matata
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I have seen the truth… THE TRUTH IS NOODLES!
-Probably the most recent convert
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Are those meat balls or boobies?
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I never really realized the FSM was so hot. Is that blasphemous?
~RAmen
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Hu da hell r u crulix? ‘u’ll c u u’ll all c’ (enter mwah ha ha ha!!!!) ?!?!?!?!?! we have found our god, he’s in religious chatrooms in the form of a nerd hu finks he/she knows everything!!!!!! i can ges by ur comment(s) dat ur christian, i hav many christian friends but they’re not sad enuf 2 cum on other religion’s chatrooms and dis their god. all i can say is get out or hail his noodliness, may ur starchiness be a burden thru ur pathetic life and be a reminder of ur sin.
hail the noodly one, we are truly His creatures
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Thanks for this. It really clears things up.
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Oh! The FLying Spaghetti Monster is Oriental !?
My God! (Him..or ..Her??)
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Why not? They discovered pasta long before the europeans.
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Ramen! Please stop fighting on these boards, need i remind ye all of the 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”? Listen to the Great FSM and be at peace with yourself, and to you nay sayers, if we truly belive in something and it makes us happy, then who are you to oppress us? Everyone finds truth in something and something different will make some people happy, some belive, and to those who do truly belive, may you be touched by his noodly appendage. For those of you who dont know read now of Captain Mosey and the 8 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts:
While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts” by the FSM, the “Commandments” by Mosey, and the “Condiments” by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten tablets, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event “partly accounts for Pastafarians’ flimsy moral standards”. The FSM’s commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition.
1. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.
2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.
3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey – Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.
4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.
5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******.
6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.
7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?
8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.
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There is no FSM! There is only Alfredo!
It is time for the truth to be told,
and this truth telliing will be called the outquisition.
All pasta will be exposed in this great outing.
And the non-Alfredans will be boiled for the plate.
In truth, the universe is really a bowl of fettucine Alfredo, FA.
It is a lie that FA is a heart attack on a plate.
A lie from the FSMs. All FSMs should be boiled!
There is only Alfredo, blessed be his holy name,
the merciful and magnificent.
Alfredo died on a plate for our sins.
Save your life before you are boiled!
– the Alfredans
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Grrr…ninja
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@Gareth
Somehow, that post gives me deja vu.
RAmen
-a Pastafarian
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gareth u fiend! you will burn in hell. or not, considering there is no hell :P
well, thats my fundamentalist streak down the drain
lol, gimme some evidence for your religion gareth and i wil join i (if it beats stripper factories and beer volcanos of course)
im loving every minute of this :D
eggy
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this is very un christian it should be banned from the web!!!!!!!!! it is a sin I tell thee!!!!!
Bless this site with hope that it’s christian status will improve
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Hail for the spaghetti-monster,
The golden belief reaches the old world.
Can`t wait for striperfactories and beer vulcanoes!
HArHArHAr-HaRYaaaaaArR!
Ramen
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1.Banning anything from the web on charge of being un Christian would be a travisty of free speech.
2. I think you need to consider your definition of “sin” a lot better. Just what the pastor tells you it is not really good enough.
3. Not gonna happen.
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Thanks for the blessing gansta. BTW when did gun toting murderers become spokespersons for… ooops, sorry.
.
No hard feelings. The Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you and your family.
RAmen
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May this most holy of sites prosper, and the religion go on forever!
Ramen!
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Atheists will win over God and FSM
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ahh but who will we thank when we are thankful for all creation.
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@ The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
.
“Atheists will win over God and FSM”
Get a grip and read the posts (and my link). Smile, life doesn’t have to be full of conflict.
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The atheists revolutionary Dec 29th, 2006 at 10:56 am
Atheists will win over God and FSM
.
I’ll put fifty USD on the FSM, wait, is this a sporting event? Or do you have some kind of war going on?
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Shit Peter, I’d pay to watch that – thunderbolts and lightening (very, very frightening). I’m sure Beelzebub has a devil set aside for me!
I’ve got fifty on the FSM too. Who’s keeping the book?
RAman
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Collecting may be just a tad difficult!
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Momma Mia let him… let him go… let him go…
Haha, This interweb thingie I just don’t know Alchemist.
Everytime I think I know it all, an atheist shows up with a holy war???
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Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me.
Does that make me a nihilist?
We seem to be getting flak from all corners. He probably hit his toot flute too hard.
I loved the one about drinking the water from a six foot bong. How, in FSMs name do you get your mouth over one of them?
RAmen my man
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Well now, lets see…
If the bong were filled with, umm I don’t know, huumm…
Lets say… Miracle water? Well then it would probably be easy to drink out of…
Ramen
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Hahahaha. That would be your special miracle spring water that takes the bo out of bong water!
Hahaha nice
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This is not a belief this is crazy at first I thought this site was a joke all u guys are crazy seriously shit get a life.
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omg, you should get out more yourself, it broadens the mind and helps punctuation.
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Any Christains who enter this site, remember the first “I really rather you didn’t” Don’t be a Holier-Than-Thou Arse! I believe that this is not just a guideline for FSMers, but rather for everyone, including snooty atheists.
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I think its funny how christians dont believe humans did not evolve from animals but with out there religion people would actlike animals. Im an athiest and I have never raped killed or stole.
Viva la FSM
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(Sarcasm): Wow that FSP looks alot like a chinese woman *rapes FSP* huzah! I now posess thy reason! Spontanious Potato Metamorphing is the answer! This was prooved by Darles Charwin that over a certain period of time, any living being will turn into a potato. Why does this happen? Well, it’s part of nature. Never mind the stupid theory about “Evolution” SPM is how we came to being and is where we are going to be in the future. ALL HAIL THE FACT OF SPM!!!!!!
That’s just really how the FSP thing is retarted. BTW, not all christians DON’T believe in evolution so take your snobby Atheism, shove it up your ass and quit trying to turn other people into atheists.
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Oi some of use may trully beleive in this, this is why were oposed to chrustianity with all your our religeon is the only true religeon and all others are just silly things not worth consideration, well i guess that you snobby christians should piss off, respect what other beleive in, and learn to stop critisising others and look at your selves.
The followers of pastatarianism believe that the FSM created all but you dont see us going onto your christian worship sites and telling you its all shit. We may not care for our religeon but we keep it to our site so piss off
Yar! all hail the FSM, HUZZAH!
RAmen
P.S. the christians believe in insest (adam and eve) so as a result the lack of different genes would drive civilisation into the groud, for example genetic problems would never be eliminated due to everyone within a country having the same genetic problem.
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I don’t know if it’s just me, but I really enjoy proper spelling and grammer. If you’re going to insult someone, spell your words right at least…
On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!
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Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!”
.
Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22%20http://www.venganza.org/
RAmen
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Hi Athiest Joe. Welcome
“On another note, beer Volcanos and strippers?! I’ll say Ramen to that!â€
.
Yeah loose morals and all that :)
Our Commandments (Condiments)
.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster#The_Eight_.22I.27d_Really_Rather_You_Didn.27ts.22
.RAmen
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Add http:// to the above link or just search ‘The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” wiki. Got an “awaiting moderation” when I added the link. Happens sometimes?
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Dude! I TOTALLY wish I had thought of the FSM Halloween costume! That is GREAT! FSM Forever!
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You can not defeat god because he is a highlander!
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I dunno… it looks like Ms FSM is whooping his pansy arse :p
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Wow – God in a kilt – there’s an image!
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fsm pwns god!
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@fsm raper
We will stop trying to turn everyone into athiests when you stop trying to turn everyone christian.
RAmen!!
PS. We Pastafarians need a Secret Handshake.
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