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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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”I don’t understand how anyone who has read the Bible and prayed to God and actually listened for His answers could not believe.”
And I can’t understand why people doesn’t like math. Not a pretty world GLM…Still…I’m talking like a pirate this september 19th. Yay for the FSM..
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Why would you want a religion that you feel like you are deserving of its GOD’s love? That is messed up and sounds like a GOD I would not want. A true GOD would not make his people feel like they are not deserving!
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@GLM,
.
Could you give us all an example of what it means to “listen to god’s answers”? I think a lot of us were brought up trying and didn’t hear anything, maybe you could clarify. But don’t give me the answer that you see “signs” based on your prayers…I see “signs” that my fortune cookie is right but I certainly don’t worship it.
.
P.E.T.
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MV,
I don’t see how I could be deserving of God. He created this world (this big and beautiful place) for us humans to live in, he gave us food, water and everything we need to survive. How did I repay Him? by sinning and being disobedient. God had no reason to forgive me; but He did. And if that’s not enough! He even came into my heart and saved me so now I have eternal life in Him! That’s unbelievable to me that God (who has all things, He lives in the most amazing place and has the angels singing His praises)would even pay attention to me, let alone want me to come live with Him in heaven. I think it is sooo exciting! I’m not a very knowledgable person at all! I don’t know the Bible inside and out; there’s some things in the Bible I can’t explain and maybe no one can; but what the Bible says I believe because it is from God and He is the only One who was there at the beginning of the world.
P.E.T.,
When God ansers my prayers I don’t hear an actual voice speaking to me and I admit that sometimes I think maybe He’s not listening; but I believe He has heard all of my prayers. I’m still learning how to listen because it’s hard when you can’t hear Him like you would if you were talking to someone you could see and audibly hear. Sometimes God says yes to a prayer but may not give you what you want right then; because of His plan for you He may answer your prayer days, weeks, or even years later. I hear Him by reading the Bible and in things people say. I had been going through something for a long time and finally one night I told God that there was absolutely no one on the entire earth that could possibly know exactly how I felt (and I was dead serious), well a couple of days later He reconnected me with one of my friends that I hadn’t seen or talked to in a long time and, I kid you not, she had gone through the EXACT same thing. It was crazy! I think also He ansers by feelings too, when you pray because you are really stressed about something and then after prayer you feel a sense of peace or something happens that makes you feel more at ease.
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the sense of peace you are feeling after prayers is because you let things off your chest. it feels good no matter who you`re talking to..
:)
just a friendly thought.
sry for double posting.
LONG LIVE HIS NOODLYNESS!
( i skated home from school and was real hungry this afternoon, turned on my tv, made some noodles and took a rip from the bong.)
it was then that i saw the light.
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I can not be everywhere to prove that your God does not exist. I am busy at work and can not be everywhere to disprove Allah, or Buddah, or Vishnu, or the Rainbow Serpent, or etc. But why do I have to disprove your God? Don’t guests in our house have to disprove FSM first? Then we can talk.
Oh, and the Christian Bible being the word of your God, claims the following:
1. you MUST put to DEATH any of your children that:
– hit you (Exodus 21:15 NAB), or
– curse you (Leviticus 20:9 NLT) & (Proverbs 20:20 NAB),
2. allow children to be put to DEATH for taunting (2 Kings 2:23-24 NAB),
3. Kill People Who Don’t Listen to Priests (Deuteronomy 17:12 NLT),
4. Kill Witches (Exodus 22:17 NAB),
5. Kill Homosexuals (Leviticus 20:13 NAB),
6. Kill Fortunetellers (Leviticus 20:27 NAB),
7. Kill Nonbelievers (2 Chronicles 15:12-13 NAB)
8. Kill False Prophets (Zechariah 13:3 NAB),
9. Kill the Entire Town if One Person Worships Another God (Deuteronomy 13:13-19 NLT),
10. Kill Women Who Are Not Virgins On Their Wedding Night (Deuteronomy 22:20-21 NAB),
11. Kill Followers of Other Religions (Deuteronomy 13:7-12 NAB),
12. Kill the llasphemers (Leviticus 24:10-16 NLT),
13. Kill False Prophets (Deuteronomy 13:1-5 NLT) & (Deuteronomy 18:20-22 NLT),
14. Kill Infidels and Gays (Romans 1:24-32 NLT),
15. Kill People for Working on the Sabbath (Exodus 31:12-15 NLT),
16. Kill Anyone who Approaches the Tabernacle (Numbers 1:48-51 NLT),
17. Kill Sons of Sinners (Isaiah 14:21 NAB),
18. Kill men, women, children, infants (1 Samuel 15:2-3 NAB),
19. Kill oxen, sheep, camels, and asses (1 Samuel 15:2-3 NAB),
20. Kill Your Neighbors (Exodus 32:26-29 NLT),
21. Kill the Family of Sinners (Joshua 7:19-26 Webster’s Bible),
22. Kill rape victims (Deuteronomy 22:23-24 NAB),
23. Rape Female Captives (Deuteronomy 21:10-14 NAB)
etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. Awwwww look do I have to go on? I can if you like, hundreds more. Now really guys, can you explain some of this? Get back to me soon.
We bless you, and will save you by converting your sins into cans of spaghetti (not worms) so that you can truly healed your sauce, and get your not-so intelligently designed house in order brothers.
RAmen
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GLM,
.
Thanks for responding…that’s more than most people do! If you want to believe that god answers your prayers at some point in the near or distant future, or he may not answer your prayers because he knows what’s best, or he may somewhat answer your prayers because he knows what’s best, you can do so, but it’s a logical fallacy: with this argument, god can’t lose! He’s going to respond or not respond and either way you explain it as being god. For instance, if my father was really sick and I prayed for god to heal him and my father got better, I would say, “God heard my prayers and answered them.” If my father didn’t get better and died, I would say, “It was his time and God took him.” It always works and god always wins.
.
Of course your life (and mine) are going to have ups and downs, things turn around and coincidences occur in strange ways. If your looking for a sign, you’ll find one! Again, the faith argument always wins because I can’t argue against what you think, but I can argue that what you think logically doesn’t make sense.
.
I’m going to pray that god fix the economic crisis in the U.S. right now. If the stock markets continue to crash, maybe god knows best and there will be a silver lining. I won’t worry because when the markets rebound (maybe years from now), god will have eventually answered my prayers! Yay, god wins again!
.
P.E.T.
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Hahahah. I’ve gotta say, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. And for all the christians who are going on about Hell, please, don’t take yourself so seriously. This is a JOKE people, a JOKE. I’m basically aethiest, though I was raised a Jew, and I tend to laugh at preachers. I’m sorry, but it’s true. People who so enthusiastically embrace enslavement and blind, unreasoned, unpoven faith make me laugh. I’m not saying everyone isn’t entitled to an opinion, by all means tell me I’m going to hell and that Jesus will not forgive me, but let it be known that i really don’t give a shit what you say.
I traded my faith for reason at the age of 12 (This is a quote, I’m not the one who first said it) so I’ve had a while to learn to simply laugh.
You give me cold hard evidence that I can’t dissaprove, and I’ll belive you. You shout at me about some old book a bunch of old men wrote in, and I will laugh. You tell me that if I ask some guy sitting on a throne in air for something, and It will happen in some weird and wonderful way, I will laugh.
Christians are not evil, they are simply ignorant! Hugs, not hate people :p
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David Bell 506: This makes Pirates seem like the meek who, as we all know, shall inhert the Earth. Therefore, this is definitive proof that the FSM is FACT and pirates are merely his disciples. QED. I will not now allow anything to contradict my sincere belief as to do so will displease his Noodlyness.
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Truth is truth no matter where you are, or who you are. THE truth is same where you go. 2+2 will always equal 4. Truth is not invented but is discovered. Truth will always be, regardless if you believe it or not, or if it makes you comfortable. When it comes to our health,education, we want to know the truth. There are cases in which we are aware of the truth, but disagree with it, cuz it instructs us how to live. Gettin ready Skate on thin ice, in which it’s believed to be thick, but the Truth is that it is much thinner than it looks.
The Truth Saves
Would you believe something that’s not true, just because it makes you do what you wanna do?
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As a coreligious Mormon/Pastafarian/Zen Buddhist, I do not see why they should have to fight. Perhaps there’s some gray area where they can both exist?
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response to RAmen:
I noticed u referenced mostly the Old Testament / old covenant…
here is the new covenant:
John 3
You Must Be Born Again
1Now there was a man of the Pharisees named(A) Nicodemus,(B) a ruler of the Jews. 2This man came to Jesus[a](C) by night and said to him,(D) “Rabbi,(E) we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do(F) unless God is with him.” 3Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is(G) born(H) again[b] he cannot(I) see the kingdom of God.” 4Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” 5Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born(J) of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6(K) That which is born of the flesh is(L) flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.[c] 7(M) Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[d] must be born(N) again.’ 8(O) The wind[e] blows(P) where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
9Nicodemus said to him,(Q) “How can these things be?” 10Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel(R) and yet you do not understand these things? 11Truly, truly, I say to you,(S) we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you[f] do not receive our testimony. 12If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13(T) No one has(U) ascended into heaven except(V) he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man.[g] 14And(W) as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man(X) be lifted up, 15that whoever believes(Y) in him(Z) may have eternal life.[h]
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%203;&version=47;
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Hello, I am a Christian, and I would like to take time to admit, that I dont have answers to the comments directed to me. I respect all that is said, i will return. Thank you.
God bless.
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we tooo believe in gooood spelling and punktuation. Come tooo the altar of of pasta cupboard and chant with us; masta pasta boil it fasta, yam it up reng kay OH. love all BOOOOOILL!
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Flying Spaghetti Monster, we love you.
P.S. Get over yourselves, since we can practice ANY religion we want
P.S.S. God just isn’t my style.
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I don’t personally see why FSMism and Christianity are mutually exclusive, after all, we are all children of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, including the so famous Jesus of Nazareth, is it so hard to believe that Jesus was particularly touched by the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I think that we all need to keep an open mind, after all, does He really want all of his beloved children fighting? We as Pastafarians need to learn to simply try and show Christians the light, and they too will see that we are all beloved of Him.
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Christianity is not the only religion in the world! Their “God” is not the only “God” and I find it offensive that religion is always focused on as a Christian issue.
Devi Durga Mahakali is coming after your asses!
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“Sometimes God says yes to a prayer but may not give you what you want right then; because of His plan for you He may answer your prayer days, weeks, or even years later.”
Hey dumb ass believer. When you pray for something and it doesn’t happen and then something similar happens years later that’s called co-incidence and not even a very profound one. Here’s some other information for you. I don’t pray for anything to happen to me and good stuff happens all the time. And when it does I thank any human beings that might have had a hand in making it happen for me. Also, thanking real people for real stuff has the added advantage of making those people more likely to help you in the future. Strange that, isn’t it?
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David Bell
When i meantion all of that stuff to other people, and then question that christianity is suposed to be peacful, they say “well thats all in the old testimate and god has changed the way people should act with the new testimate” ….hm ok, if “god” is all knowing, why did he have to change the rules. if he was smart he would have made 1 set of rules to apply to every one. so why is it suddenly bad to kill people who are non belivers? moral standards shouldnt change with the time period.
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That’s right, God wants all of his people to feel inferior. He wants them to be afraid he will kill them at any second.
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This is what I think about this FSM religion = In the bible (Gods very own word) in Hosea chapter 5 verse 4 it says, They will not frame their doings unto their God: for the spirit of whoredoms is in the mids of them, and they have not known the Lord. Guys we were all created by God, everything is, the world, all the planets, EVERYTING! And He created us (human beings) and gave us a free will. He didnt creat us to hate us or for us to fear Him, He created us to love us and to have a relationship with us. But because of our free will, we got pridefull and turnd away from Him ourselfs, and thats how sin started (disobedience) and sin separates us from God. And so I think that how it says in Hosea that because of peoples free will and there pride they did not frame their doings unto their God, and have not known the Lord, they basicly started there own religions because of there pride. Guys because God hates sin, His wrath is on those who sins against Him. After life there is only heaven or hell, where we will spend our eternaty! And Gods punishment for sin is hell! But we all sinned, no one is perfect, so we all basicly turnned away from God, and we all basicly deserive hell! But because God still loves us so much (John 3:16) that He gave up His only begotten Son (Jesus Christ) that whosoever believes in Him should not perish (in hell) but have everlasting life (in heaven) God gave up His so that He would come down to earth and take up all our sins on Himself and die for them! and was resurrected after three day to defeat death and sin! And to restore in us that relationship with God, to love Him and be loved by Him, and not just live for our selfs and our pridefull ways. Guys its the greatest joy to know God and have a relationship with Him! Please think about it! God loves everyone and wants everyone to know Him and be saved and have a relationship with them! Romans 10 verse 9 says, If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Guys you can be saved from you sin and from hell! and have a relationship with God. Or do you raelly think you can have a relationship with a noodle monster? THINK ABOUT IT!
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Re: Alex
‘In the bible (Gods very own word) in Hosea chapter 5 verse 4 it says . . .’
That, my friend, is the problem.
Not only have you missed out the apostrophe, but also quoted a text credible only to a certain sect of people.
How many times do we have to say this: Words in a book that claims to be derived from a supernatural being doesn’t justify the said claimed being. It is circular logic and therefore false.
That is, until you’ve find credible testimonial other than this set of self-proclaimed proof, the entire notion of god is not valid. Please, please, please. Think.
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Steve, how dare you come onto this website and mock our religion, consider your self lucky that we are such peaceful people.
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I’m not totally sure if Alex and co have failed their sense of humour check, or if I’m failing it by not finding their pastiche of upset Xians funny… this whole satire thing is getting far too recursive ;-).
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LAME. Really really lame. I’m not gonna hate on u guys, but dude, cum on, flying freaking spaghetti monster? thats so lame. dont u have better things to do than mock christianity like this?
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Considering there’s been worse mockeries of the Christian religion in pop culture such as the innuendos in movies such as My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Edward Scissorhands and of course formal funny making by famous comedians such as George Carlin (RIP)and Robin Williams I would think it wise to just bow out gracefully and learn of the word “tolerance” which is what the bible preaches in a ridiculous conundrum of oppression laced with fancy words and stories of what will happen to you if you live in sin. Right now you can actually SEE spaghetti and meatballs. It’s real. It’s tangible. It can sustain you on a cheap budget… God just takes money with no real give back. Which is why the church is the single most wealthy entity world wide AND statistics show at least half to 3/4ths of it’s members and participants are poverty stricken. However they still pass around that offering plate and shame be brought to someone who doesn’t offer something to God who honestly must have some sort of severe money troubles if he’s constantly broke on tax free donations.
In today’s economy the clear choice is to worship an idol that gives something back to you in return for your troubles and worship instead of engaging in Nazi-like attacks laced with foul language against people enjoying themselves :) Honestly you do no good for the image OF your faith by coming on here acting like some crazed cult affiliated terrorist.
:)
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i used to be a crazy christian, like, “spreading the word” and all that crap. but then i realized what my dad said about the “chief end of man”: to glorify god for all enternity. that basically means that god created us to stroke his own ego.
if god is so great and so good, it’s a bit of a contradiction to send all those that don’t believe him into a fiery pit of suffering for all eternity. we have free will but only to an extent. he is trying to control our beliefs, if you interpret the bible in the what it’s really saying.
there are no real contradictions to the historical part of the bible (except obv creationism), so the bible is basically a historical book wroght with silly notions about a god. it’s almost like greek history, or maybe the iliad or the oddesey: there isn’t anything that really disproves the existance of troy, and they say they might have found it or some crap like that, but the interference of gods is just plain silly.
people are entitled to believe what they want to believe.
personally, i think i have been touched by His Noodly Appendage.
btch.
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Well played, sir. Let us eat spaghetti in honor of your triumph.
^_^
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I don’t understand why people with other religions come in here and get all preachy on us. That would be like us Pastafarians walking into a church during a sermon and touching people with noodly appendages while reciting His noodly word… Actually that sounds like a lot of fun!! ^_^
May you always be touched by His noodly appendage.
RAmen.
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dont fall as the non belivers want you to do. god is love there for he loves all of us, in times of needs pray and pray and u will see how a prayer can make a diffrenz. dont stand for the hate for the hate is every were.
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Those of you who wanna kvetch bout Jesus, and this offending you and those of you who wanna go into long winded debate about why God doesn’t logically exist or why are we here, or what does God really want or how it all started really….
SHADDUP. The lot of ya.
Cos its moot point. God or no God, there are still starving babies in Africa, the polar ice caps are still melting, and the rainforests are still burning down around you. You probably haven’t climbed Mount Everest or discovered how to walk through walls yet, shut down a sweatshop, or tried to save a man from drowning or learned how to sing opera yet or can recall a day in full detail you can without question say totally honestly to yourself: ‘This was the most incredible happiest moment of my life’.
Do something about all that stuff first. God if he exists can wait. Chances are you might just find the real God in doing them. Either way, whatever creed you are, if he exists for you, he wants ya to Love and live a life of active charity, not hate and bash others and your own self over insignificant trivialities. It says so in EVERY spiritual book on nearly EVERY page in EVERY chapter that one. The rest is all just likely related to culture and historical politics going on at that time and pettiness or personal issues the writers at the time who’d been given their turn to put into the text. But that whole ‘Loving and Living’ stuff, that’s basically the jist of it folks. Don’t worry about the rest of it so much, it’ll come to you.
FSM is trying to be clever and true and funny. Cos Life is somehow clever and true and funny. If there is a God, I’ll bet he’s enjoying this. So deal with it.
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I feel hopeful that people like passy are beginning to convert to His Noodleyness. I just can’t believe all these other folks that are in danger of damnation; walking around believing in their “god” when we all know it’s really FSM…
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HAHAHAHA
-Touched-
FSM BLESS US ALL!!!
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Actually, God doesn’t love everyone, according to your bible, Alex. Deuteronomy 22:5, “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.” See? So God only loves people who aren’t transvestites. Or, if you’re taking it even more literally, God hates all girls who wear jeans. Oh gracious. It would appear I’m exempt.
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“Those of you who wanna kvetch bout Jesus, and this offending you and those of you who wanna go into long winded debate about why God doesn’t logically exist or why are we here, or what does God really want or how it all started really…”
-DAni
Thank you. THANK. YOU. Really, can you say you’re a true Christian and then damn people who disagree with you? Really? It’s hypocritical. And for those of you who don’t see this as clearly satire, get a sense of humor. This was all started by a man who saw something he thought was wrong in the education system, and instead of sitting there and complaining about it like so many people do today, he did something about it.
However, I do disagree with this religion. It is clear to me, and so it should be to everyone, that the true creator of this Universe was Tom from Myspace. I pray to Tom that He may cleanse you from your Original Skin and may He always remain on your friend’s list.
Let us chant out belief: LOL;ROFL;LMAO;J—k—-
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you guys are douche bags!
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let ye olde chrristans be, we needn;t insult them, thats their job
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For years I have been questioned on my faith, told My faith wasn’t real.
It is due justice that the greatness of the FSM dwarfs grey man god and minamizing there faith
Low and behold they don’t like it also
too BAD
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Let’s see FSM vs. God…hmm… is there a difference?
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@ alex. Please dude, go away.
As EVERYONE with an IQ higher than 50 knows, this is all a very good and funny joke. apparently, you just don’t have a sense of humour, and you’re just dumb. I know you little head hurts now but eat some pasta, it helps :)
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I’m sorry, but I hope if there is no god that all of you people have to die in the slowest, most painful way possible since you couldn’t burn in hell. To protest teaching kids that god is real and created the Earth. Yay lets all live in a society where you are just worm food when you die, and force it off on our kids when they are at their youngest and most vulnerable. You pieces of trash will all suffer one way or another.
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Lmao i hope there really is a spaghetti monster out there somewhere that created the universe, i almost gave up entirely on religion but now i have hope… GO FSM (BTW doesn’t “god” look like a pedophile?)
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This website is the best. The most humorous…and the most ill-formed/quick to answer. It seems everyone is here!
Gosh, Kissme…you mean you wouldn’t want to worm food after you die? lol.
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You see, kissme, we very much encourage the teaching that god created the earth. However, we believe that we should also teach the theory of evolution and the Pastafarian creation. We just believe that it is our right to show children multiple points of view, so that we may let them choose their path to destiny.
I believe it is more you who is trying to censor our religion, rather than letting them decide. Aren’t you taking advantage of them when they are at their “youngest and most vulnerable”?
Revise your words, and I will accept a full apology when you send me one. But do not worry, our god is a forgiving one, when he is sober.
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kissme: Erm, so basically you’re doing good things only because you fear the wrath of your imaginary friend, not because you believe in doing good stuff? Well, that’s not very noble, is it?
Oh, and:
THERE IS NO GOD! IT’S ONLY A FAIRY TALE AGAINST PEOPLES FEAR OF DEATH. IN ANCIENT TIMES GODS WERE ALSO USED TO EXPLAIN LIGHTNING, FLOODS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS, BUT WE HAVE GONE BEYOND THAT. THE ONLY REASON WHY RELIGION IS NOT OBSOLETE YET IS THAT THERE’S ENOUGH STUPID PEOPLE!!!
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Kissme #541, you have provided a perfect example of why so many people find evangelical xians offensive. Intolerance, prejudice, inflexibility, insult, dogmatism, inaccuraciy, condemnation, advocating forced indoctrination – and all that in just three and a fraction sentences, while breaking your own religion’s rules of conduct, and advocating for unconstitutional practices. I am impressed.
RAmen
ET
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to: Kissme
You know, teaching fairy tales to children when they are “young and vulnerable” telling them it is the absolute truth and that if you don’t believe it you will burn in terrible flames, is quite a bad thing. All religions are influenced by the culture they were born in, which would explain why so many are so different. The more thing we get to know about life the less old superstition we believe (for example that thunder is created by Zeus when he is in a bad mood). Ignorance is the key to keep these old superstitions in place. Also religions are a way of controling by fear. They used it a lot in school: “If you don’t do your homework you will go to HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL! *Pulls a picture of hell out of his pocket*” I’m sorry but controlling people by fear is not a good thing to do, and if your god exists (which isn’t the case) he is a dictator filled with anger and hate (i mean come on, if he was really filled with love and forgiveness there would be no hell, no suffering etc.) God didn’t create the humans in his image, the humans created god in their image, like they do fr everything else… you know talking animals and such.
And besides Daqq is absolutely right, you should do good things just because it’s right, not because you’ll go somewhere horrible if you don’t. Most people i know who are EXTREMLY religious, are also very selfish and bad as human beings… that says a lot!
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Kissme: You do know your religion contradicts everything you just said right?
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Also I would like to point not all Christians are like this. Infact I have some very nice Christian friends. The Christians that try to annoy us on our site are a minority.
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Greeting and with Pasta and Sauce to all!
I just love this site and the intire FSM movement! I too have given up on god( notice the little g) but not the Goddess. I have given up on most of humanity but you people and this site give me just a little hope!!
I would love to start a campus group at my college University of Houston, is there any thing that should do like forms or something.
Can I just start my own congregation.
Can we have fetticini alfredo as a sacrament?
I think that this would be great fun!
Thanks for revealiing his noodlyness the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Macacrone and Cheese!
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