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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Miscellaneous
Bobby's Blog
Contact Bobby: Contact Me
FSM called me this morning. He’s really upset ‘cos God hasn’t paid the rent this month. Does anybody have God’s bank account or credit card number? FSM is really upset…
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@Pirates Evolve Too
It’s nice to be back.
.
Well what can I say?
The strength of some people’s convictions is non-existence.
When you build a house out of a tissue of lies a weak breeze will blow it down. Built on bricks of logic it will always stand tall.
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For all the ppl here I am quit young but I beleive in the holyness of God. And to those who beleive in evalution there is something I never got in my lessons. How could something be created of nothing. (ths is on how the earth egsists)
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Most Holy FSM is kind, generous, loving, forgiving and delicious. His Noodly appendages have been nourishing his followers with succulent goodness and zest (with a hint of garlic) since the great victory against the Salami Beast in 3765 BC. The Most Holy FSM is willing to offer his children an eternal plate at the Pasta Bar; simply surrender and give yourself freely to our Noodly Protector, and you will savor in his omnipresent carbohydrates for all of eternity. For those who refuse to see and savor in his Noodly goodness, and for those who may deny his Glory, you will be tortured and burned for all of eternity. He has blessed you with free will, after all, so the choice is yours.
djb1001
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in Response to this person “Tom”
I don’t believe you understand how often Christians come up to agnostics and atheists and tell them they’re going to go to hell unless they convert NOW. Unless they do what their religion says they will burn in hell. This is a little something I would distinguish as “raining on my parade.”
Christians have a form of explaining why they do the things they do such as Adam and Eve, the Crucifiction, Moses, etc, etc.
The FSM is merely a way to explain why Agnostics and Atheists believe what they think is real through the use of colorful and I hope true stories.
Why can you shove a pamphlet in my face and call it equal? Why can’t I shove a pamphlet in yours explaining why i believe what I believe? Ludacris.
And in all seriousness I think the FSM has spoken to me more in 3 days than God has spoken to me in 18 years.
And he told me pirates rode dinosaurs.
Go figure.
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@Eliza
“How could something be created of nothing?”
And who created God? Or God came from nothing?
.
And who created the creator of God?
and so on…
.
Anyway, evolution is not about the origin of life, but about the variety of species in the natural world. So, you can’t apply your sentence here, because the universe, the sun, the earth and even life was yet existing.
.
“ths is on how the earth egsists”
.
As I have said, that’s not the matter of evolution, it’s called cosmolgy. More or less, there was a big and hot mass of gas that, as it was cooling, and by de effect of the gravity, condensed and formed the sun and the planets -you know, like earth. We can see now other stars forming this way
.
You may wonder where this mass came from…well, probably it came from the explosion of an older star…that star was formed by a bigger amount of gas cooling… that gas came from the Big-Bang (a explosion that created the universe, space and time, but that theory has from far less evidence than evolution, at the moment)
.
I hope His Noddly Master will enlighten you to become a rational adult person
RAmen
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I believe that it is important to remember that Christianity imposes it’s ideas on the masses daily through it’s near monopolization of American culture. So many Christians who feel they are not “raining” are actually reigning so to speak. I love the FSM and embrace the clever way you are exposing the impositon of religion on many people who have no desire to share their version of truth
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Eliza, the first thing you have to do is read a lot of books on various subjects. Often ones that have opposing viewpoints. Read the Bible from cover to cover. But don’t just read it, thinks about it. What is being said in this book? Study history from all sorts of different angles. The first commandment is “Thou shall not kill.” Then go and learn about the Spanish inquistion or the Crusades. Think about these things. You might change your mind on religion.
Another thing to consider is the big question, who made God? And you can’t say that God was always there because before the universe there was probably nothing.
Except raw pasta, uncooked ground beef, green tomatoes and spices waiting patiently to exist.
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this is a response to Eliza….
I know that it is really hard to believe something came out of nothing….but
people who believe in God have the exact same problem. Who created God? Is it easier
to understand his origins than other explanations?
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It’s never been properly explained to me why a omnipotent, benevolent god would require human belief in order to accept people into heaven. Seems a bit petty doesn’t it?
Even Santa kept bringing me presents for a coupla years after I busted his cover.
I think the gods must have low self esteem issues.
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djb1001 and no_hope07,
.
You should both review the Gospel’s eight I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts. The FSM does not care if anyone believes in Him or not. You will not be condemned if you do not believe. Also, our Lord, the FSM, does not talk to us. He does not consider us to be that interesting.
.
But, I do understand what you mean, no_hope07. If you are new to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, I hope you will read our Holy Book. There is a lot to learn, especially about our holidays, like Friday (the best).
.
RAmen
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Eliza,
.
You believe in the holyness of God : Fine.
.
But after you make the point that life has been created from nothing. No evolutionnist has ever said that in the first place. Biologists have models, pointed by all observations, that can explain in physical terms the appearance of life on earth. Then astrophysicists and astronomers have models for the formation of the solar system and the galaxy.
.
Then cosmologists have an experimentally justified model of the history of the universe through the so-called “big-bang”, observing the microwave background radiation. However, this knowledge is hardly accessible to us, I concede. But still we have experimental justification for our models. And before the big bang? Does this have sense? No one knows yet.
.
Now, if you think that bringing God in solves the problem, you’re utterly wrong. This is a useless hypothesis, because 1) we will never get experimental justification for it 2) it is not easier to answer the question : “why was God there in the first place?”, for which we cannot, in fact, hope experimental support.
.
So you believe in the holyness of God : Fine, but keep it for your own spiritual life. When you want to talk about science, you must be relying on experiments and models, not on subjective, social-made, hypothesis. When you do science, believe less, think more.
Peace and pastas
Benji
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As a pirate I see the direct results of low pirate population and it’s affect on global warming. I’m pressuring the American school board to offer courses in pirating in the hopes of increasing the pirate population. FSM has an important roll in our quest, since buccaneer wear is so important in FSM-ism ceremony. (there sales pay for our lawyer) ..
keep up the good work.. Ramen
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what does “WWSFMD?” mean? sorry, im new. please answer
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Funny idea here, try maybe making a youtube vid next time. One question to all; I have the biggest problem -ever-! I’m a Pastafarian (yay!) so I obviously think Pirates are awsome as heck. BUT I’ve also been taking Ninpo (ancient ninja martial art self defense…thing…) for the last few years, ergo making me also love Ninjas! How do I decide?! :P
RAmen.
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WHAT WOULD FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER DO???
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god would definatly win sorry fsm but he is so much better even though i believe ha! RAmen not you stinking losers
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I ate him yesterday and mmm mmm mmm he was so good I was truely touched by his noodly appendage
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I ate him yesterday and mmm mmm mmm how good he was, and I was truly touched by his noodly appendage! RAmen
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Faith vs.
Science
This is brilliant! Read this to the end. I’ve heard the student was Albert Einstein, but I’m not 100% sure.
A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, “Let me explain the problem science has with religion.” The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.
“You’re a Christian, aren’t you, son?”
“Yes sir,” the student says.
“So you believe in God?”
“Absolutely.
”
“Is God good?”
“Sure! God’s good.
”
“Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?”
“Yes.
”
“Are you good or evil?”
“The Bible says I’m evil.
”
The professor grins knowingly. “Aha! The Bible!” He considers for a moment. “Here’s one for you. Let’s say there’s a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it.
Would you help him? Would you try?”
“Yes sir, I would.
”
“So you’re good…!”
“I wouldn’t say that.
”
“But why not say that? You’d help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn’t.
”
The student does not answer, so the professor continues. “He doesn’t, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him.
How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?”
The student remains silent.
“No, you can’t, can you?” the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.
“Let’s start again, young fella.
Is God good?”
“Er…yes,” the student says.
“Is Satan good?”
The student doesn’t hesitate on this one. “No.
”
“Then where does Satan come from?”
The student falters.
“From God”
“That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t he? Tell me, son.
Is there evil in this world?”
“Yes, sir.
”
“Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything, correct?”
“Yes.
”
“So who created evil?” The professor continued, “If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.
”
Again, the student has no answer.
“Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?”
The student squirms on his feet. “Yes.
”
“So who created them?”
The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. “Who created them?” There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. “Tell me,” he continues onto another student.
“Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?”
The student’s voice betrays him and cracks. “Yes, professor, I do.
”
The old man stops pacing. “Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Have you ever seen Jesus?”
“No sir. I’ve never seen Him.
”
“Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus?”
“No, sir, I have not.
”
“Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?”
“No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.
”
“Yet you still believe in him?”
“Yes.
”
“According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist.
What do you say to that, son?”
“Nothing,” the student replies. “I only have my faith.
”
“Yes, faith,” the professor repeats. “And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.
”
The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own.
“Professor, is there such thing as heat?”
“Yes,” the professor replies. “There’s heat.
”
“And is there such a thing as cold?”
“Yes, son, there’s cold too.
”
“No sir, there isn’t.
”
The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. “You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything called ’cold’. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.
”
“Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of h eat, sir, just the absence of it.
”
Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.
“What about darkness, professor.
Is there such a thing as darkness?”
“Yes,” the professor replies without hesitation.
“What is night if it isn’t darkness?”
“You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? That’s the meaning we use to define the word.
”
“In reality, darkness isn’t.
If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?”
The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester.
“So what point are you making, young man?”
“Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.
”
The professor’s face cannot hide his surprise this time.
“Flawed? Can you explain how?”
“You are working on the premise of duality,” the student explains. “You argue that there is life and then there’s death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought.
”
“It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.
”
“Now tell me, professor.
Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?”
“If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.
”
“Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?”
The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.
“Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?”
The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.
“To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.
”
The student looks around the room. “Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain?” T he class breaks out into laughter.
“Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt the professor’s brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.
”
“So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?”
Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.
Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. “I guess you’ll have to take them on faith.
”
“Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,” the student continues.
“Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?”
Now uncertain, the professor responds, “Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.
”
To this the student replied, “Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darknes s that comes when there is no light.
”
The professor sat down.
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Adam,
The Faith vs. Science story was AWSOME!!!
God is AWSOME!!
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RE: ANSWER
WWFSMD: What would the The Flying Spaghetti Monster Do
Also, WWJD: What would Jesus Do?
the answer to this, of course is
HWCTFSM: He would convert to FSM :D
-RAmen
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Adam-obviously u dont know how to make pasta. you must measure the temperature with a thermometer. This device measures the amount of heat. thus proving the existance of TFSM. its science.- RAmen
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Adam- How can God be absent? I thought he was omnipresent? Or is it that he’s just capable of being all places at one time but doesn’t always use that capability? So then he chooses to be absent from us? What’s that you say? We choose to be absent from him? So, in turn, he chooses to allow us to be absent from him? Also, your heat analogy? Awesome except that heat isn’t in control of itself, while I assume that you believe god is. That’s what you say at least, god is in control. So is he or isn’t he?
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The presence of counterfeit currency is the greatest testimony to the authentic value of the real currency. After all, who would bother going to the trouble and risk of producing a counterfeit version of something nonexistent or something without real value?
Thank you for offering this testimony to the infinite value and authenticity of God by displaying so blatantly this obvious counterfeit.
Only a madman would go to the trouble of producing a counterfeit God, if the real God were not there, and of infinite value Himself. Are you a madman? That is for you to answer.
The sheer volume of counterfeit versions of God not only testifies to His mere existence in reality, but it moreover attests to His immense value as an authentic item: nobody produces counterfeit pennies. The greater the value of the authentic item, the more attempts will be made to produce a counterfeit. This principle applies both to currency and to God.
You can truly prove yourself to be sane and intelligent by focusing your attention on the authentic item with real value, God. Only fools and madmen concentrate on the item of lesser value, the counterfeit.
Show the world your true intelligence starting now.
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i love the story by adam!! ive read it before and i’ve always smiled.
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Adam,
We’ve all heard the story before and it’s a nice anecdote. There as some clarifications that should be made about it, however. The student in the story equates the light vs. darkness and hot vs. cold analogy with the evil vs. god analogy (says they are “like” one another). In the story, the professor goes along with this; in real life the professor should have (would have) countered this argument. Light and heat are physical properties of the universe. They are quantifiable entities and can thus be specifically measured. They follow physical principals and laws (if the student was Einstein, he would surely understand this). “Evil,” however, is not the opposite of “god,” it’s the opposite of “good.” Evil is the name to which humans have labeled all things that are not morally responsible and is thus a human invention. In other words, evil (good vs. bad) varies from culture to culture and is thus not a universally accepted notion. It is not quantifiable and it does not follow physical laws. Thus there is a gap in the student’s logic when he counters his professor.
.
Given, the professor’s argument is weak to begin with and he does make the assumption of simple dualities between light vs. dark, etc. But the student’s arguments miss the mark. Evolution is witnessed every day among microscopic lifeforms (i.e. bacteria). Unfortunately, our own lifespans and those of most living things around us are far too long to observe thousands, if not millions, of generations and thus witness large-scale change. However, the fossil record is full of such changes and produces varied forms along a continuation of variation from one archaic form to more evolved later forms (we see this for humans as well as all other lifeforms). Thus evolution is visible, can be seen, and thus the old turn-the-table argument of religion is not applicable. Regarding having never seen the professor’s brain, the student’s (no doubt) have all seen a brain before, though not the professor’s. The knowledge based on previous experience that all humans have brains would rightly infer (if you want to call this faith, it based on previous experience) that the professor does, in fact, also have a brain. I would say the same thing for religion if I had ever seen a god before (or any spiritual being). Because previous experience states that spiritual beings exist, I would rightly infer that god exists. But I haven’t seen these things, they haven’t been demonstrated, and thus I do not have the necessary information to infer that god exists.
.
The arguments are flawed in the original story, but these are a few of the ways that I would counter them.
.
P.E.T.
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ADAM IS RIGHT AND P.E.T. is RIGHT
God, and Jesus can not be explained in words. PET you are right in your counters and they do make sence, but ADAM’s story was (by the way NOT Einstein) straight from The Bible and had his facts all correct. The story was very interesting and I have never came across it before but God CAN NOT be explained in science. Half the stuff scientests say are theory, AND God IS NOT THEORY! but in theory he does not make sence, but like I have learned God does not show up on Earth, I have tryed to see God, or a vision but you can not try to prove god to yourself you must follow the path of god and god will come to you in time but all I can say is, God is not explainable please dont reply counters to this small bit im not here for compotetition but… Peace Be With You and have a great day
– Matthew
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Matthew,
I don’t mean for this to be a “counter,” but I have to respond so that others reading these posts know where each of us stand and what arguments are strong. True, science can’t explain god. No one is going to argue that. But what does that mean? Science is able to explain a significant portion of the physical phenomena that occur in the world and universe through application of theory. I think “theory” needs to be clarified. People tend to associate the word “theory” with the word “guess” and this is not a correct association. A theory is a well-tested hypothesis that has withstood rigorous scientific experimentation. An untested intelligent “guess” is simply an hypothesis. Scientists back up their theories with application: when you have a headache and take advil or aspirin, you are aiding science is proving a theory of medicine; when you turn on your T.V. you are helping to prove theory of electrical properties; when you wash your hands, you are inherently trusting that there are germs and this is based on scientific theory; when you travel on a plane you are trusting the theory of aerodynamics to pick you up off the ground. Theories are inherent in everyday life and in this sense, ALL of what scientists say is based on theory (not only half as you suggest), but this is not a bad thing, this is the basis for scientific progress.
.
If your argument, Matthew, is simply that god must be believed through faith then I cannot argue that. The faith argument is untouchable but scientifically makes no sense. If you’re okay with that, then I have nothing more to comment on. However, if you accept the scientific method as providing answers to the world around us, it seems unfair to invoke faith in the face of that. If the universe, the world, life and all that it entails can be explained through scientific theory, what place does god hold if he/she/it cannot be explained in a similar way? Innumerable questions arise about the nature of god, its power, intentions and existence that must be taken solely on faith. For those people that don’t have a problem with this and that believe in this god in a personal way without forcing their beliefs on others, I have no qualms; however, for those that believe in this god and have a more-righteous-than-thou mentality of conversion, I have plenty of arguments! That being said, I enjoy open dialog with those believers with open minds, so please, feel free to write.
.
P.E.T.
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First of all why are you attacking Christians? Sounds like someone holds a grudge against someone and can’t let go. You actually just prove the Bible to me more correct when you make up a flying spaghetti monster….Jude 1:16-19 16] These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men’s persons in admiration because of advantage.
[17] But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
[18] How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
[19] These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.
I live in Springfield, Missouri and i do see the sign holders , they are just standing up for what they believe in..however i don’t necessarily agree with the approach. In their eyes they are showing love, Love for God and Jesus and love to warn others from the judgement of God. No one wants to think about the judgement of God even Christians because we know we are all sinners that fall short but Our God provided us an escape route from that judgement his name is Jesus and personifies Love and to those who believe and he becomes our existence and our purpose but the Bible clearly states that ungodly men won’t understand spiritual things 1Corinthians 2:10-16 10] But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.
[11] For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.
[12] Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.
[13] Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
[14] But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
[15] But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.
[16] For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
again adding up…so if they is trying to be offensive i’m sorry but i’m not offended. I only know about this site because my brother told me about it. anyways i put a web page that is very interesting and i think it explains science vs God and proves God through science etc take a look if you’re open to it. thanks
Shelly
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Matthew, you jump to a conclusion too soon. We cannot know if Adam is right or P.E.T. is right, we can only assess how likely each of their assertions are and whether their reasoning is sound. So far, Adam has presented poorly conducted reasoning (not his own, clearly: this does not strengthen his case), while P.E.T. has presented better reasoning.
As for God being beyond words, nothing is beyond words that we can conceive of, by definition. If we can conceive of it, we can assign it words, and use existing ones to describe the meaning of that word. Those words will in turn be constructed of other meanings, or will terminate in something that may be observed, such as an experience of some kind, like an emotion, expectation, bodily sensation or state of mind, sound, object or attribute of an object, a geometric property, a property of light and so on. These are the things our brains evolved to cope with, as they have been important aspects of our environment over evolutionary time. Some of these things may be reduced further by newer types of thought that go beyond our natural experiences (the kind I just described), using language in the opposite direction and taking highly generic, that is abstract, notions and constructing from those new concepts from which an explanation of those basic elements of our experience can be understood
Those new understandings are rarely intuitive, and often require a particular natural configuration of the elements of the brain(1) which is quite rare in order to be conceived of easily. Most people can grasp these new understandings of the world with effort. Sadly, most people don’t have the time to do so, working three jobs in the miracle that is the US economy or in one of the sweatshop or subsistence economies as they do. Others, including yourself I suspect, do not have the inclination, as they perceive that they have too much to lose. You should realize, by the way, that understanding evolution (it is a fact, not a theory in the common sense, just as the theory of quantum electrodynamics or the theory of relativity are facts, and not theories in the common sense) does not require a loss of faith unless that faith is poorly founded. Such a poor foundation comes from a “faith” of surrender to earthly authority– the very thing Christ himself challenged.
(1) which is the cause of the common personality types, I suspect
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Religious people were the ones who wanted to kill Jesus.
Jesus didn’t come to earth to start a religion, he wanted to restore a relationship, between God and Humanity.”
A Chief of a large tribe, got word that there was a conspirator in the clan, who wanted to overthrow him. The cheif then proclaimed that who ever the traitor turned out to be, would be tied to a tree, a whipped with a cat o 9 tails, 100 times. The cheif was bewildered to find out that the conspirator was his own brother. He stayed true to his word, and tied his brother to the tree. But his Love was so Great, that the Cheif ordered himself to be tied beside him, receiveing the lashes that were meant for his brother.
That’s God’s Love humanity.
When it comes to technicalities and such, we can argue for days. But the Heart knows what is true.
Let me ask you a question, what do you have against Jesus? Notice, I said Jesus, nothing about religion, church,logic, and such. What’s your issue with Jesus?
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@Geltown
Jesus: nothing.
What people have turned Jesus into; Lots.
Fortunately for Jesus, he isn’t around to see what people do in his name, and fortunately for the pastafarians, people now make absurd claims about him stolen from other earlier religions.
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@adam
That’s a cute story a page or so back. Nice try with the “i think it was einstein” bit. Was that the only scientist you could think of? It has many silly little problems (cold is the opposite of hot, not heat etc.), but the biggest is that it is just as easy to say the evil is the opposite of the FSM.
@ Purushadasa
To twist your counterfeit example I think about sunglasses. Would you rather pay $100+ for the “ALPHA AND OMEGA, ONE TRUE” pair of brand name sunglasses (god), or the knockoff pair that look exactly the same and cost $5, leaving you $95 left over to spend on beer and strippers (Pastafarians can live Heaven on Earth!). Personally I would go for the cheap ones because I think the god brand sucks. But hey if it works for you then rock on.
@Geltown
What do I have against Jesus? The same thing I have against the tooth fairy. Nothing. He’s not real. Sure there may have been someone named Jesus (it’s pronounced HAY-ZEUS), but son of god, died for my sins, I think not. Let me ask you this. If some guy, maybe even me in full pirate regalia, walked up to you and said, “Hi, I’m Jesus Christ, I’m back to save the world and I need you to help. First you have to do {insert horrible thing here}”. Would you do as this man said? Or would you ask for proof that he is Jesus?
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For the Elect that he will save will need no proof. The ones who neeed Proof will get it without asking….
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I like spagetti.
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I left my wallet at home.
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Listen, i just started at a catholic high school, and I’m afraid of coming out as a Pastafarian and being persecuted. What do you suggest I do?
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Wow. Hoope that thing doesn’t kick my ass.
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pure ownage
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My problem with Jesus??? I actually don’t have a problem with him or the countless other fictional characters that have been written about in history.
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i win and so god is defeated once again by the principle of the babel fish
and seeing as i am a pastafarian thus wins my deity so ill see you at the beer volcano
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Finish him FSM
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I just heard of this ground breaking religion. I feel like a born again pastafarian. I love it. I LOVE IT. the flying spaghetti monster owns my soul.
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No matter how hard Satan tries and no matter how hard people try God cannot be defeated. I don’t know the Bible inside and out yet, but I still believe it’s true. One day soon Jesus is coming back, it’s pretty exciting! I don’t understand how anyone who has read the Bible and prayed to God and actually listened for His answers could not believe. I wish that everyone would come know Jesus and experience His wonderful love and salvation and grace. He’s been so wonderful to me even though I am the least deserving of His love.
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To Saint?:
I’d suggest you lay low for awhile. Treat your religion class as if you’re at Hogwart’s, learning sorcery. Play the game and bide your time.
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GLM said
I don’t know the Bible inside and out yet, but I still believe it’s true…I don’t understand how anyone who has read the Bible and prayed to God and actually listened for His answers could not believe.
Well, I read it cover to cover. Twice. I understood it, and that’s why I don’t believe it. It’s a hodgepodge of Bronze-Age mythology, tribal kings and prophets trying to put a holy spin on their tribal warfare and atrocities, and Roman-era mysticism. When I prayed to god there were never any answers. Never. It wasn’t hard to figure out why – there’s nobody there.
Now I eat pasta every holy Friday, and tell my kids they should figure out life for themselves instead of trusting in some ancient book for all their answers. Yarrrghh and RAmen!
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@GLM
I don’t know, but it seems like God’s been getting an a**-whupping ever since the Renaissance – and it’s not Satan, just us puny little humans. Now if he’d only come out from under his invisibility cloak and give us humans some proof of his “Earth is Flat” theory, or “Earth is at the Center of the Universe” theory or his “Sure I created everything and then Hid My Tracks” theory, maybe you might be able to claim a win. but I don’t see how you pull a “win” out of anything so far.
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Ah, that’s why the first comments are so weird. It was two years ago, in principio.
#495:
We prayed, we didn’t hear, we left.
The Bible is a field manual for barbarism, misogyny, infanticide, and genocide. And foreskins. Lots of those. I don’t understand how anyone who has read the Bible *could* believe.
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“He’s been so wonderful to me even though I am the least deserving of His love.”
Isn’t that just typical of your god? Randomly rewarding the undeserving and then giving cancer to children or something equally unpleasant to the innocent, Choosing one group of people as ‘his’ and then persecuting another, putting a trap to lure the unwary in the garden of eden and then punishing them when they fall for it, sends his son to earth to tell us he loves us and has him brutally murdered. You may find this ‘exciting’, I think its just plain nuts.
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