321278 Views
374 Comments

Official church stance of homosexual marriage

Published January 19th, 2011 by Katie

Fellow Pastafarians,

I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.

During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.

I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.

Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.

Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.

May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,

Katie

141326 Views
31 Comments

California wave sighting

Published January 19th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

weeds

Charles sent in this sighting of the FSM’s Noodly Appendages in the surf in California.

150842 Views
62 Comments

Amazing propaganda artwork

Published January 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Steven_Klingers_Propaganda

Steven Klinger’s Pastafarian Propaganda.  Amazing work – I can’t stop looking at this.  I now badly want to market FSM beer. 

You can see some more of Steven’s artwork on his Facebook profile.

I think it would be great if we could help Steven kick-start his artistic career.  Anyone with a project in mind in need of talent? 

52056 Views
7 Comments

Design contest

Published January 16th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

I’ve started a design contest for an FSM logo/emblem at LogoTournament.  It’s mainly so we can have a professionally designed t-shirt.  Contest has been up for an hour and already I’ve been impressed with some responses.  If this is your kind of thing, please come enter.  Winner gets $375.    Here’s the contest page.

The contest ends ~ 1/22.   I’d love to hear opinions on the designs as they come in.

137894 Views
66 Comments

Grassley’s megachurch probe was BS

Published January 10th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

grassley

Unbelievable.

Senator Grassley of Iowa’s Evangelical Finance Probe was released this week.  A lot of us were hoping these megachurches would be scrutinized for their most flagrant abuses: the obscene salaries, the private jets and luxury cars, the politicking.  Most of us are shocked these sham broadcast ministries can exist as tax exempt non-profit organizations in the first place, but it is stunning that because they’re religious institutions they don’t have to file detailed financial disclosure reports to the IRS.  So we were glad that Grassley and team were investigating.

Well now the report is out and we know what they were doing the last three years and investigating was not it.  Out of the six broadcast ministries looked at only two cooperated, and *zero* subpoenas were issued by investigators.  What a scam. 

Grassley offered this statement, which I have been trying to parse for a while but I’m having trouble because it’s such bullshit:

The staff review sets the stage for a comprehensive discussion among churches and religious organizations.  I look forward to helping facilitate this dialogue and fostering an environment for self-reform within the community.

Translation: we will ask churches to be good.  Hey if that doesn’t work, perhaps another three year investigation in which nothing is investigated is in order.  You sir, Senator Grassley, are a fraud.

Here are some depressing articles about this mess:

CNN’s take

Huffington Post

215329 Views
5 Comments

On Top of Spaghetti Cupcakes

Published January 10th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Thanks to AJ for showing these – clearly FSM inspired – “On Top of Spaghetti Cupcakes”.    Here’s the site/recipe.  And the video below.

174336 Views
76 Comments

Tides are proof of God

Published January 7th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign.  Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people.  Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive. 

YouKnowItsAScamBillboard600

I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard.  I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama.  Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars?  Made me think of that.

manloverulesok2 nascar_sucks

I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest.  I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone.  [Edit – I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O’Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn’t believe himself to be a fraud.]

But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned.  There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:

O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.

SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?

O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.

Here’s the video:

In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:

As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.

101876 Views
13 Comments

Tempted By Another

Published January 6th, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Tempted By Another

While eating a bag of pretzles at my mother in law’s installment as rector of an Episcopal church in New Hampshire l, I came across This visage of his Noodley Goodness! I knew for sure that he was watching over me as I was being tempted by another!

–Tom Petzwinkler, Washington, DC

65001 Views
18 Comments

Atheists Never

Published January 1st, 2011 by Bobby Henderson

Very interesting, slightly depressing site, courtesy of Willie.  If you’re interested in crazy things done in the name of religion, this is the site for you.

atheistsnever2

Here’s the link: AtheistsNever.com

Discussion Forum

26,137 members

Contact Me


Become a minister

We do not solicit or accept donations -- the Church is funded by orders of Ordination Credentials. Please consider taking the next step of your Faith and become an FSM Minister.



Join our lending team

Kiva is a platform where you can make small interest-free loans to people in poor areas that need help starting small business. The Church of the FSM has one of the top religious congregation teams on Kiva. Check it out.


Please help us stay ahead of the Mormons!



Wear a shirt

We have a few styles here.





Purchase the Gospel

An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American.


Buy Car Emblems




Me

Bobby's Blog

Contact Bobby: Contact Me




Play



Last 100 Comments

Categories

© 2017 Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ...