Cristof spotted this pirate ship cake pan on reddit (unknown link).
Cristof spotted this pirate ship cake pan on reddit (unknown link).
It is my friend Carmen’s birthday today and the one request she made for her birthday was a White Russian Cake with FSM decor. So I made her a Cappuccino Kuala Fudge Cheesecake with his Noodleyness.
– Willa, Raleigh, North Carolina
I am writing about the official church stance of homosexual marriage (i.e. none). I am concerned that this stance is in direct contradiction with the will of the FSM. You see, I received a vision from the FSM this evening while (as is often the case) I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich.
During his appearance he told me that homosexuals are gay because He has touched them with his noodley appendage. This is the reason that “experts” have had so much difficulty pinpointing what makes someone gay. And since gays and lesbians have been chosen by Him, to deny them the right to get married is an abomination in His eyes (meatballs). Of course many have argued that no major religion has ever accepted homosexuality. It should obvious to any FSM follower that the real reason homosexuals are shunned from mainstream religion is because of blatant prejudice towards those who have been touched by Him. A bigotry that I know many of my fellow Pastafarians have experienced first hand.
I am especially concerned because of the state of gay rights movement today. Too often gay activists argue that should be given the right to marry because of court precedent that says marriage is their “right as a human being” or essential to the “dignity ” of a relationship. Then they rely on the 14th amendment to say that they deserve “equal protection under the laws” and that under constitution gay people are “equal to” straight people.
Well I think to time to put these arguments to rest. Gay Pastafarians should sue because not allowing gay marriage is a violation of their first amendment rights since it is commanded by the FSM as relayed to me in my vision. Of course He works in mysterious ways and we may never why He commands that gays get married. But there is no question that He does.
Now if I know my fellow Pastafarians, you want proof. Attached is a photo of the grilled sandwich I was cooking when He appeared to me. I think it speaks for itself. I hope that it is satisfactory proof to convince everyone that we should amend the CotFSM’s stance on gay marriage to supporting it. Only then can gay Pastafarians demand true religious freedom and marry as the FSM intended.
May you all be touched by his noodley appendage,
Charles sent in this sighting of the FSM’s Noodly Appendages in the surf in California.
Wow, what a scam you have used to set yourself up with money and Im guessing fame and all the stupid bimbos and other trappings it all brings. Just remember, since there is no god or religion there is nothing wrong with killing some low life, "educated" or not (or any other act). As an exemplar of life without a God, there is nothing keeping people from acting out against others in any capacity other than the relatively obscure chance of being caught. I personally believe in God. I like to think that I am held responsible at a higher level than what man does. I do like to think there’s more. I hope you pay for your actions sooner or later in life. I’m sure you will at some point. A Morally concerned man.
I’ve become conflicted about posting hate-mails. I think there are assumptions that the Church of FSM receives hundreds of hate-mails and that most of the mail from Christians is negative. Neither of those things are true. Hate-mails are not common, and the majority of Christians who email understand our purpose is not to mock them. Most Christians who I’ve talked to see problems with organized religion and the abuses and fraud that get tied up with faith and power.
But what I hear over and over is that they feel turned away by our reactions to hate mail. They feel too many of us believe they are stupid for being religious. Even if a few of us do, I hope the Church of FSM never turns into a venue for those opinions. That’s not what this is about.
For the most part I think we do a good job of turning down the volume on our most extreme voices, and I think that’s a healthy thing. Just as Christians have a few members who will be riled enough to write nasty letters to us, there will be a few of us riled enough to respond in kind. But the majority of us are reasonable and rational.
I hope we find a way to encourage more rational religious to venture over here, and that we find a way to keep them. The Church of FSM is open to all – and that includes those who believe in another God besides the Almighty FSM.
Steven Klinger’s Pastafarian Propaganda. Amazing work – I can’t stop looking at this. I now badly want to market FSM beer.
You can see some more of Steven’s artwork on his Facebook profile.
I think it would be great if we could help Steven kick-start his artistic career. Anyone with a project in mind in need of talent?
I’ve started a design contest for an FSM logo/emblem at LogoTournament. It’s mainly so we can have a professionally designed t-shirt. Contest has been up for an hour and already I’ve been impressed with some responses. If this is your kind of thing, please come enter. Winner gets $375. Here’s the contest page.
The contest ends ~ 1/22. I’d love to hear opinions on the designs as they come in.
Senator Grassley of Iowa’s Evangelical Finance Probe was released this week. A lot of us were hoping these megachurches would be scrutinized for their most flagrant abuses: the obscene salaries, the private jets and luxury cars, the politicking. Most of us are shocked these sham broadcast ministries can exist as tax exempt non-profit organizations in the first place, but it is stunning that because they’re religious institutions they don’t have to file detailed financial disclosure reports to the IRS. So we were glad that Grassley and team were investigating.
Well now the report is out and we know what they were doing the last three years and investigating was not it. Out of the six broadcast ministries looked at only two cooperated, and *zero* subpoenas were issued by investigators. What a scam.
Grassley offered this statement, which I have been trying to parse for a while but I’m having trouble because it’s such bullshit:
The staff review sets the stage for a comprehensive discussion among churches and religious organizations. I look forward to helping facilitate this dialogue and fostering an environment for self-reform within the community.
Translation: we will ask churches to be good. Hey if that doesn’t work, perhaps another three year investigation in which nothing is investigated is in order. You sir, Senator Grassley, are a fraud.
Here are some depressing articles about this mess:
President of the American Atheist Group, David Silverman, went on the O’Reilly Factor to talk about the group’s “You KNOW they’re all SCAMS” billboard campaign. Bill O’Reilly said it was insulting to religious people. Silverman says it’s the truth and how can the truth be offensive.
I will admit I laughed when I heard about the billboard. I can imagine the response it will get in Alabama. Anyone remember the Top Gear episode where they did a road trip through the south and wrote controversial slogans on each others cars? Made me think of that.
I will also admit I have a grudging respect for Bill O’Reilly – because as much of a pompous ass he is, and as often as he is wrong about so many things, I find him intellectually honest. I believe he believes what he is saying, and you can’t say that about everyone. [Edit - I got a lot of flack for that statement. Maybe deserved. But still I believe there is a difference between what he is doing and what Glenn Beck is doing. Both are asses but I believe O'Reilly sleeps well at night and doesn't believe himself to be a fraud.]
But here is one of those things O’Reilly says that leaves you stunned. There is proof of (presumably a personal Christian) God because of Tides:
O’REILLY: I’ll tell you why it’s not a scam: the tide goes in, tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that.
SILVERMAN: The tide goes in, tide goes out?
O’REILLY: The water, the tide comes in, it goes out, Mr. Silverman. It always comes in, it always goes out. You can’t explain that.
Here’s the video:
In response, friend of the Church of Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mr. Stephen Colbert, had Astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson on The Colbert Report to give a scientific explanation for the tides:
As always, the problem with the false religion/science dichotomy leaves the masses ignorant of the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s influence over everything.