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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
@you
Remember your failure at the tree. Oooh-pa Oooh-pa!
Wow. There really are some idiots who think this is anything but a mock-religion. I love FSMism so much because not only does it prove the link between pirates and global warming (something which should not be ignored), but it also uses some of the stupidest parts of religion and laughs at them. I really cannot understand religion at all. There are so many bad things done in some god or another’s name which are completely contradictory to what they’re supposed to be for.
@you
We are not debating whether noodles were created by the Chinese. The Flying Spaghetti Monster (blessed be His balls) merely told the secrets of noodle-making to the Chinese so that His message could be passed on. Oh, and you don’t HAVE to send us hate mail on any page. You just chose to because you’re immature and don’t realise that telling us that we’re stupid just reflects badly on you, using all capital letters is considered impolite and lists have to have semi-colons in. Learn proper grammar and spelling. Moron.
Oh, yeah, and the merchandise looks pretty good, though I’m having the same problem with it coming up in another language when I click on the British flag.
RAmen to you all!
@pinara the pirate
Pardon my repitition. Excuse me for my redundacy. I apologize for saying the same thing three times but I can’t see my post to your request for more piratey words to use.
I said “Ye’d be well served, methinks, by this site:
http://www.tintinologist.org/guides/lists/curses.html
It’s a list of Captain Haddock’s expletives and exclamations, from Tintin, the animated adventure books.
I didn’t make it a link this time in case my making it wrong is what’s keeping it from posting.
Yars in marinara,
vichycycl
arr, this site makes it a link so me typing
’square bracket url=http//etc.
just throws the whole thundering plan into the briny depths, do it not?
His noodles curve in mysterious ways, halleluyarr!
Hi Reb - I’ve just had a go clicking the flags - same thing here. All I can say is - Things like that happen here - honestly! Just wait until FSM eats your posts for the laugh!
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Just order from the main US stores. They’ll ship them to you.
All hail his mighty Noodle!
I’ve just printed out the “Have you been touched my his nooldy appendage” and hung it up by my desk at work. Let us see how many collegues I can convert with it (I work at Microsoft so there should me many a soul to harvest). =)
RAmen.
If the Great Noodly One is a compassionate deity, albeit one made out of pasta and meatballs, how come he allows so much suffering in his name? Just the other day I burned the roof of my mouth while tucking in to a huge tasty plate of spagballs. Maybe He is trying to teach me patience and humility, since I stuffed those creamy balls in my mouth too quickly, instead of allowing them to cool down. He truly works in mysterious ways.
hey, rock on! your religion was invented such as all the others, but reading your gospel, i realised that FSM is the gods of gods, cause if any other god from claims to have invented the universe and men.. then he must have been as drunk a drunk can be. at least fsm admits it!
Francis
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Hahahahaha
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Ramen to you (:))
“claims to have invented the universe and men.”
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Erm…. and Wenches :)
@Gabriel May 14th, 2007 at 2:00 am “…Let us see how many collegues I can convert with it (I work at Microsoft so there should me many a soul to harvest). =)”
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Oooh, so you are the world-famous author that writes those error messages, know, read and appreciated around the world :)
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If you want to see some real nice writing, other than error messages, just click on my name ;)
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WSWP to you, and a big RAmen too!
Gabriel
May 14th, 2007 at 2:00 am
All hail his mighty Noodle!
I’ve just printed out the “Have you been touched my his nooldy appendage†and hung it up by my desk at work. Let us see how many collegues I can convert with it (I work at Microsoft so there should me many a soul to harvest). =)
*
They have souls at Microsoft???? ;)
@burned believer May 14th, 2007 at 10:29 am “If the Great Noodly One is a compassionate deity, albeit one made out of pasta and meatballs, how come he allows so much suffering in his name?”
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Compassionate, but not infallible (cfr. the GoFSM)
Interesting things man.
thanks
people work at Microsoft? AT Microsoft?
Does His Noodly One know?
I’m still new to the whole church of the FSM. Do they have a Hymn book? CD’s with worship songs? I could use these to convert my neighbors.
My God (I mean ‘My Noodly Appendage”) this is just the best thing I’ve seen in years. How can people be offended by this?
The mysterys of the mind I suppose….
In response to the (now admittedly relatively old) posts by NowtheworldhasMeaning and Evyl Robot Michael (though they are still up there on the forum and as such viewable for the moment). I have to agree with One Eyed Jack in that NowtheworldhasMeaning’s initial post “Davey lets face it if you believe in a supreme being you are probably not blessed with intelligence” is not only offensive but also completely untrue. Speaking from personal experience (I realise this is hardly statistically viable but under the circumstances it is tolerable) there are a number of intelligent, educated, well-informed people who do have faith in a divine being. Faith of this sort is clearly influenced by upbringing; for instance, I spent several years of my young life in the south of the Republic of Ireland, a devoutly Roman Catholic state at that time. I was educated in Religious beliefs as though they were fact, as was every other child in that educational system. I, however, am a devout atheist; the advantage I had (if it can be called that, and in this instance I believe it can, in the context of “freedom of thought”) is that my parents are both “agnostic” (though personally I disagree with this particular branch of “faith” more than any other for reasons I will soon discuss). As such, I was able to interpret what I was being taught, during extremely formative years, in a very different context to that in which my classmates were able to do so, all being from devoutly Catholic families. I can guarantee that now, though it has been many years since I had any contact with most of those classmates, between 80 and 90% of them remain devout Catholics, regardless of their education or intellectual prowess. They were simply conditioned from birth to believe in what was presented to them as fact. This is a weak argument for faith, I realise, but the fact is that these peoples’ faith has never been directly challenged, and as such they have never had to argue in its favour, nor, I believe, has there ever been any suggestion for serious doubt, given their collective upbringing. Besides that, there is no reason why people shouldn’t be entitled to their own beliefs.
Though I have said that I am a “devout” atheist I suppose in some ways it would be more accurate to describe myself as an “antitheist”, though this is very open to misinterpretation and I should explain. I noted above that people should be entitled to their own beliefs; this is a cause of animosity towards many of the major religions, most of which have a fairly checkered history in this regard, notably Christianity in the Middle Ages and, more recently, Islam (these are the two most published example but there are others). When I regard myself as an antitheist I do not intend to offend any average follower of any theistic religion, nor do I hold their beliefs against them; my gripe is with ORGANISED religion: in the Western world, mainly Christianity. A small part of this distress is caused by economic and historical reasons. Yes, historical reasons are a minor part of the problem; you can no more hold the Catholic church responsible for its actions during the Middle Ages than you can hold modern Germany responsible for its actions during the 2nd World War (if you believe that modern Germany IS in some way still responsible for the War, then you are an arse, and I say to you: fuck off. At the risk of insulting many Jews. But it is my belief that we should learn from this sort of history rather than propagating a cyclical hate relationship). Telling examples of the problems induced by modern organised religion are everywhere for us to see: the rampant spread of AIDS in Africa, a continent rife with missionaries but sadly lacking in real education, its population led to believe by some prominent religious figures that condoms actually CAUSE AIDS, and led by the catholic church as an entity that condoms do nothing to prevent the spread of AIDS; this is clearly a despicable abuse of educational ignorance. The current “situation” in the Middle East is also inflamed by organised religion; I’m not going to bother explaining the reasons for this as they should be obvious to all but the most ignorant of readers.
With my abuse of organised religion finished (for now), I would like to address Evyl Robot Michael’s original post. As an aside, I might note that I also have a measured IQ of around 180. Please bear in mind that IQ is NOT a definitive measure of an individual’s intelligence; depending on testing, one can train oneself to demonstrate a higher IQ than they should actually be credited with, and the IQ scale has long been “discredited”, though it still has its merits. For instance, though Evyl Robot Michael has a professed IQ of “well over 180″, he still manages to confuse “it’s” with “its”. He also makes the point that he has “seen the power of God in my life”, a statement which is clearly refutable. Though it may well be that he has experienced what he BELIEVES to be the power of some “God”, it is disputable as whether it actually WAS the intervention of some divine power. Looking around me now, if i were so inclined, I could “see” the power of God in my computer, in my television set, in the walls of my apartment, and in the equipment that I possess that allows me to see these things at all. However, I am not so inclined, and I see in the three former examples the work of man, and in the latter example the work of cumulative natural selection and evolution. His next point is just as easy to refute, “there is an order to our universe that is undeniable”. I put it to you (and this is following on from One Eyed Jack’s post about synchronicity): can you imagine a universe WITHOUT order? The simple answer is no. For two reasons. The first (which One Eyed Jack has kindly pointed out) is that the human brain is wired to make sense of chaos; as One Eyed Jack has already discussed this, I won’t bother. The second is this: how could we possibly perceive a universe WITHOUT order? Without a certain semblance of order the universe would simply not exist. This is not evidence of some divine creator, this is simply scientific fact. If our planet were not in a well-placed orbit around the Sun, we would either crash into it or zoom off into space, either indefinitely or until we shot into another body. This is not evidence of a divine creator for this simple reason: the universe has been around for a long time (even geologically speaking, which is a LONG time). That’s it. That’s really all the argument that is necessary; all the relevant conclusions can be drawn from here. Say our planet wasn’t in stable orbit around the Sun. Where would it be now? Either in pieces (very small ones, most likely), or floating away in space. How much detritus has suffered this fate since the beginning of the universe? I have no idea, but it’s likely to be an awful lot. And yes, regardless of your personal experience, coincidences DO happen. Your experiences occur during a ridiculously tiny timespan in geological terms. Though an occurrence may seem unlikely, over a long enough timespan it effectively becomes a stastical certainty; for instance, if you were to deal a deck of cards 10^75 times, you could reasonably expect that on one of those occassions, the cards would come out in perfect order, Ace to King, Clubs to Spades (I should point out that I couldn’t be bothered to do the calculations and I don’t have any programming tools on this computer so I estimated a bit, but the principle is there). And finally to his point about evolution being “like a religion with its own religious hierarchy, symbols, and bigots”. Certainly I agree with the fact that there are bigots in any system, religious, racist or otherwise. But where is the “hierarchy” analagous with that of religion? There is no “pope” of evolution. And the postulation that “it takes at least as much faith (if not more than) to believe in evolution than in creation” is simply ridiculous. Evolution is based on evidence and reasoned scientific theory. Religion is based SOLELY on faith. Show me some evidence for the existence of a divine being (it doesn’t even need to be proof, just reasonable evidence, with the emphasis on “reasonable”) and I will change my views. I will concede that there is a possibiliy of a divine being.
All that said and done, I will stop now so as not to push every other post off of this page, and also it occurs to me that if I continue for too much longer I might as well just write a book and make some money out of my efforts.
I conclude simply by saying that I hope someone, at least, has got this far and is reading this, my farewell.
The FSM is Absolutly brilliant, I’m sending this to my family and friends. May you all be blessed by his noodly appendage. -RAmen
Hello friends and Pastafarians.
It’s been a while since I checked in with you, and I thought that today would be a good day to drop a line. Since we last spoke, I’ve been busy brushing up on my reading with Sagan, Chaos theory, the Galapagos Islands and other natural points of interest, as well as recent discoveries on the life cycles and functions of stars, and dark forces. Fascinating as it all is, I still find my faith unshaken. I hope that you are all well. I have been praying for you (once again, blessing, not curse), and have read some of the “hate mail” on this site. Unfortunately, it is aptly named. I would like to apologize to you on behalf of my fellow “Christians” who will preach love and tolerance, and yet slap your faces with epithets and threats. No wonder there are atheists in the world when there are such unsavory religious zealots.
In fact, part of why I haven’t been on here in so long is that I read some of the responses to my recent posts, and I was touched. To all of you who have been hurt by churches, my heart goes out to you. I have many friends who have been hurt by the church at one time or another, and in fact, I have had bad experiences in churches, myself. I feel like some people’s actions, in the name of God, are inexcusable, and they will be the cause of their own demise in the end.
Most importantly, I would like for you to know that not all people of faith are like those mentioned above. I don’t really blame you for the mockery and anger, because I can see exactly who it is directed at. Please, though. Don’t confuse Christians with God. Although they represent Him in this world, they are almost always a poor representation. I don’t want to be a condemner to any of you, and I hope you realize this. My God teaches us that we should not judge, lest we be judged. I do believe that you are wrong, but I don’t have to beat you over the head with it.
Well, I suppose that just about wraps it up for now. I’ll be back, and I’m sure you will be here.
Your friend,
–ERM