Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

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Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby sushi on Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:23 am

Grüß Gott,

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. As we know spaghetti have to be boiled in water, a little salted, with a few drops of olive oil aprox 8 to 10 minutes until they are "al dente". Therefore water, a pinch of salt, and a few drops of olive oil must have existed before the FSM.

Sorry.
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Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby Touched by a Noodle on Wed Aug 24, 2005 3:39 am

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. As we know spaghetti have to be boiled in a little salted water with a few drops of olive oil aprox 8 to 10 minutes until they are "al dente". Therefore water, a pinch of salt, and a few drops of olive oil must have existed before the FSM.

Sorry.


Yes. That's true, except you forgot the Flying Spaghetti Monster accidently impregnated Mrs. Time Machine.

Once the little "Flying Spaghetti Monster" learned the time machine secrets from his mother, well, he created water, salt and olive oil. He decided he had water and salt nailed so he scrapped olive oil and created extra virgin olive oil.

I could be wrong about this 'cause I haven't heard it from a guy on TV telling me who to vote for.
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Postby sushi on Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:30 pm

I don't believe it was able for an entity, which consists of al dente boiled spaghetthi, to accidently impregnate anybody.
I guess that applies to maccaroni ditto.
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Re: Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby D Day on Wed Aug 24, 2005 12:46 pm

sushi wrote:Grüß Gott,

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. As we know spaghetti have to be boiled in water, a little salted, with a few drops of olive oil aprox 8 to 10 minutes until they are "al dente". Therefore water, a pinch of salt, and a few drops of olive oil must have existed before the FSM.

Sorry.

In the beginning, there was only Him. FSM is the creator of all. He need not be boiled. Our own earthly spaghetti is merely an impression of Him. It is our tribute, our way of honoring his existence.
I'll meet you at the beer volcano. Then we'll head to the stripper factory.
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Postby Brady on Thu Aug 25, 2005 3:53 am

Have faith my brother in Noodliness. It will get you through where logic and common sense fail.
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Re: Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby Benedict on Thu Aug 25, 2005 5:01 am

D Day wrote:
sushi wrote:Grüß Gott,

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. As we know spaghetti have to be boiled in water, a little salted, with a few drops of olive oil aprox 8 to 10 minutes until they are "al dente". Therefore water, a pinch of salt, and a few drops of olive oil must have existed before the FSM.

Sorry.

In the beginning, there was only Him. FSM is the creator of all. He need not be boiled. Our own earthly spaghetti is merely an impression of Him. It is our tribute, our way of honoring his existence.


Of course. Raw spaghetti is not true spaghetti, but transubstantiates into His form through the act of boiling.
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Re: Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby PuffTheMagicDragQueen on Thu Aug 25, 2005 8:25 am

sushi wrote:Grüß Gott,

I will when I see him...
D Day wrote:In the beginning, there was only Him. FSM is the creator of all. He need not be boiled. Our own earthly spaghetti is merely an impression of Him. It is our tribute, our way of honoring his existence.

Well spoken :) You seem to be well versed in FSMism.
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Postby KC Observer on Thu Aug 25, 2005 9:07 am

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.


A heretic!! Start boiling the water!

You, sir (or madam) will need to consume FSM's noodleyness until ytou have converted! What a delicious way to be converted!
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Re: Why FSM cannot be the creator of the universe

Postby futzman on Thu Aug 25, 2005 10:09 am

sushi wrote:Grüß Gott,

It is impossible that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. As we know spaghetti have to be boiled in water, a little salted, with a few drops of olive oil aprox 8 to 10 minutes until they are "al dente". Therefore water, a pinch of salt, and a few drops of olive oil must have existed before the FSM.

Sorry.


Oh gentle sushi! Of course FSM created all everything! And I have proof.

Just look at the Irreducitibley Complexiosity(tm) of spaghetti. If you remove a single ingredient, does it not become something less than spaghetti? If you remove the meatballs, do you not have to substitute something else for your "meatballs"? Which came first -- the water or the pasta? I believe these questions and the Irreducitibley Complexiosity(tm) of the complexiosity of FSM proves my point!
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Postby sushi on Thu Aug 25, 2005 4:59 pm

Oh. I will noodle over this.

Regards from Austria
(you know, that country where Arnold Schwarzenegger and kangaroos come from)

Pasta la vista, baby.
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Postby Cardinal Queequeg on Fri Aug 26, 2005 12:36 am

Sushi, I would point out 2 things.

First, Futzman is exactly correct, we are operating under the ass-umption of irreducible complexity here. If you can't understand or don't want to believe, simply throw your hands up in the air and shout, " It's too complex!" and you will feel better right away.

Secondly, as an Austrian, you come from a country where two generations ago Julie Andrews sang about the glories of Schnitzel with NOODLES, being one of her "favorite things" in the Sound of Music.

A prophecy?

You tell me!!!

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Postby sushi on Fri Aug 26, 2005 3:05 am

futzman wrote:Just look at the Irreducitibley Complexiosity(tm) of spaghetti.

Yesterday I ordered my wife to cook a big boil of spaghetti alla bolognese. I looked at the Irreducitibley Complexiosity(tm) of it for more than two hours and thereafter I threw my hands up and shouted, " It's too complex!"
Nothing happened. Except the spaghetti had became cold and my wife called me a bloody nerd.
What did I do wrong?

Secondly, "Schnitzel with noodles" that is really blasphemy. In Austria you will be fined and burnt at the stake for just mention such composite.

By the way I suspect spaghetti with meatballs doesn't exist in real life. It just exists in movies.
(I also suspect Kansas doesn't really exist, except in Hillbilly songs)

Will I have to boil in hell for that? Or in olive oil?
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Postby dutchroll on Mon Aug 29, 2005 4:21 am

Wow! Do you have kangaroos over there too, Sushi? :wink:

Every time I visit the US I get told that it must be great being only a short car drive from several different countries! Schnitzel with noodles? Uugh! Mit Bratkartoffeln for me. I'm certain even the exhalted FSM Himself would turn His nose up at Schnitzel with noodles.
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Postby sushi on Mon Aug 29, 2005 11:47 am

dutchroll wrote:Do you have kangaroos over there too?

Yes. But the Austrian kangaroos are a bit smaller than the Australian, and they are armed.
Kangaroo-schnitzels taste pretty good without noodles.
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ordering????

Postby Noodlyoodly on Mon Aug 29, 2005 12:11 pm

Sushi,

You *ordered* your wife??? Do you usually *order* your wife to do things?

Are you living in Austria in the 21st Century or in some strange time warp?


And is your wife an FSM'er? If she is, might she simply be inspired by the FSM to cook pasta instead of your *ordering* her???
The pasta is the life.

In Pastalidarity, NOOOD
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