Greetings from the Future!!

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Greetings from the Future!!

Postby Voice of the Empire on Mon Oct 31, 2005 2:02 am

{posted in character of a future pastafarian}

Hello my fellow Pastafarians! i speak to you, through the grace and good will of our saucy lord, from the year 3289, of the terran standard calendar. my name is Quintillius photius censius, a lower order scribe, living here upon the church's homeworld of pastiapolis.

i know not how i am speaking to you, but like all galactic wackiness, when something happens you do not question, only plunge ahead. being able to speak to you, i have decided describe to you the world i know so well.

it may please you to know that the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster survived the great heresy wars of the early XXII century. survived, and thrives, for besides the cult of bushido, and the rejuvination of the old pagan religions, Pastafarianism is the largest religion in the Empire today.

this is no small feat, for after said those dark times, most of the remaining peoples of the planet turned away from the, then, established religions. i am no great historian, mearly a scribe, and cannot explain to you why.

we live today, as i said, upon our homeworld of pastiapolis, toward the outer rim of the Empires borders, a location that exposes us danger and invasion often. in the recent war with the Gamelon and Thalian Alliance, our proximity toward their borders made our homeworld an ideal sector headquarters for the war effort.

but i degress, as i often do, despite the best advice of my brothers and sisters in pasta. the homeworld is not the only place you can find centers of pastafarianism. im told there is a very large and lively congregation on aviaria, and the sector church of Vi'dara is renowned throughout the greater church for a Spaghetti sauce that is, in the words of the twelth council of olive garden, "a gift from our lord in marinara himself". the church of Elam celebrates the day of the prophet sekmar, who was said to be able to produce pasta from any material you would give him.

while the greater racial terran population of the Empire {all citizens, once accepted into the empire, are called terrans.} has, by and large, given themselves more over to reason rather then faith, there are many prominant examples of Pastafarians in the Empire. the church counts both the Empress olivia, who lived in the late XXVI century, and the Emperor Marcus, who preceeded the father of our current Emperor christopher to the throne.

however, the most famous pastafarian in the churches history would be Captain, later Skymarshal, Ivan Malishkin of the StarKnight class battleship Yi-sun-sin, who, with his ship heavily damaged and most of his crew dead, saved the planet Ari'nor from a trialian ravager group. for his deeds, Captain Malishkin was awarded the title of Champion of the Empire, a title that has only been bistowed on ten men and wemen in the Empires history.

now, it is getting late, and the Pirates are getting thirsty. the warp which allows this message to reach you will be open for a while, so if you wish to ask me questions of the future, i will do my very best to answer them.
the future of mankind is the stars. the soul of mankind is to be forged in battle. and it is about to be tested.

www.zod2008.com

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!....... with your vote.
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Postby Omnieiunium on Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:53 am

Survived through the centuries you say? Amazing. Is there any mention of the prophet bobby?
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Postby Voice of the Empire on Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:27 pm

the prophet bobby is honored each june throughout the church for revealing our faith to the world. however, most of his works wich came after the great letter have been destroyed or lost. you must understand, many of our oldest texts were destroyed during the rise of the Abomination eighty-eight years ago. those that remain are either in the care of the Free Converts in the omninet, the great Empire spanning computer network in which they live, or sit in the archives here on the homeworld.

of those hard copies, few remain. the Abomination seemed to hate our faith, and when he and his great worldships conquered pastiapolis, he ordered much of the planet to be set aflame. much debate seems to confirm that he had an allergy to pasta, which caused his anger. only through the actions of magentabeard, the great pirate defender of the planet, were some of those documents saved.
the future of mankind is the stars. the soul of mankind is to be forged in battle. and it is about to be tested.

www.zod2008.com

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!....... with your vote.
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:39 pm

You are John Titor, and I claim my five pounds.
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Postby Voice of the Empire on Mon Oct 31, 2005 9:54 pm

OOC: john titor was a mean spirited hoax; this is having fun.
the future of mankind is the stars. the soul of mankind is to be forged in battle. and it is about to be tested.

www.zod2008.com

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!....... with your vote.
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Postby The Black Spot on Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:06 am

OOC: john titor was a mean spirited hoax; this is having fun


That was a take on a British catchphrase that obviously doesn't travel well.

Anyways:
---------------------------------------------

In the future, have those manufacturers of tinned spaghetti been suitably punished for their foul blasphemy?
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Postby Voice of the Empire on Tue Nov 01, 2005 5:36 am

no, dispite the churches best efforts. however, since large buisnesses are more heavily regulated then in your time, we have been able to gain an offical overseership of the entire Spaghetti industry by the Emperor. this allows us to make sure that the quality of canned Spaghetti is far greater then in the past.
the future of mankind is the stars. the soul of mankind is to be forged in battle. and it is about to be tested.

www.zod2008.com

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!....... with your vote.
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Titor

Postby black bart on Tue Nov 01, 2005 10:13 am

That was a take on a British catchphrase that obviously doesn't travel well.


Lets try another one - the British Empire didn't get anywhere without persistance;

I'm free Mr Humphries! :lol:
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Postby nate272 on Thu Dec 01, 2005 7:28 pm

I'm much too lazy to read all that...
w00t!!!
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