The Continuous Salty Tale

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:15 am

...mer's special fried egg sandwich.

"Help, help!" shouted Arseburn. "Save me from these fiends!"

"Don't worry," said Knuckles, spinning round to face them. "I'll give them all a faceful of...
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thick

Postby black bart on Wed Oct 03, 2007 11:20 am

...me thick white...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby tanguerra on Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:26 pm

beekeeper smoke. It be the remedy for pests of all kinds. Wait a minute, though I just have to pump this...'
Aaarrrrgggh!

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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:16 pm

...football up."

Knuckles' right hand moved furiously as he got the ball to the right pressure. He then bounced the ball and attempted a half volley.

"Arrrghhh!" shouted Arseburn. "You've kicked me in...
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Postby OZ_Nick on Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:53 pm

...front of all them skeletons. Now I've gone an' wet me p...
----

Ye may knowe mee better as Cap'n Bluenose
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:17 pm

(p)yratickally-new pantaloons (ruining their fine crease and nap..) wit' th' last uv me C.D XO..Saucy Gert, would one uv yer excellent ale wenches do a quick wipe of my..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby tanguerra on Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:27 pm

new strides."

However, in lunging for the football, Arseburn, never the most agile or nimble of men, had not only overturned his drink and ruined the nap of his new trousers, he had managed to crush a 1:100 perfect scale model of a Spanish Galleon to smithereens which Saucy Gert had set up earlier on the bar to dry.

Although the little skeleton men all thought this was hilarious, Saucy Gert was understandably outraged and not least because she recalled she had suggested Arseburn should vacate the establishment some paragraphs back.

"Why," she fumed, "You no good eejeet! Wait till I get my hands on you, I'll...
Aaarrrrgggh!

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cork

Postby black bart on Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:50 am

...stick a flaming big cork up your...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:17 am

... blunderbusses barrel. You're too clumsy to be trusted with it."

In anticipation of Saucy Gert's attack, Arseburn curled up in a ball on the floor. However, Saucy stopped and stared out of the window.

"Look!" she cried.

There, out at sea, a battle was taking place between Green Smith's ship The Rainbow Worrier and RRR's ship The Whistling Kettle.

"Take that, you utter beast!" yelled Cap'n Green Smith as he fired a recycled cannonball that hit RRR straight in the...
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Postby DaveL on Thu Oct 04, 2007 5:48 pm

...kettle whistle settling it off, before it was ready to boil. 'You hit my whistle you blaggard' yelled Rowan. 'Well for that, you get to feel the pointy end of my...
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:31 pm

wit..ye blather on about bein' "green" an' such, but i know you muck all yer recycling into 1 big pile (& never seperate into glass/newsprint)..fer SHAME!!.

'pon hearin' this tea-fuelled diatribe, Cap'n "G" broke out his special "recycled oil" bombs and let fly..
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Postby DaveL on Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:32 pm

...with Dawn the Enchantress and her band of dancing black skeletons...
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:36 pm

RRR was about to reply with a volley of his own, but unfortunately a talking green potato with wings had got itself wedged in the barrel of his biggest cannon.

RRR looked at it and said "oh,..."
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Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:38 pm

"That's where that bloody thing went to. Hey! Cap'n Green Smith! Here's a Green Potato for you!"

And with that, he blasted the potato at the Rainbow Worrier with the cannon usually reserved for firing loaded questions. It hit Smith's ship and exploded into recycled french fries which dropped down on Smith and his crew like a...
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Oct 04, 2007 9:41 pm

...sack of...
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