Pirate-y Wedding Vows

[Torteh Lini]

This here is th' weddin' vows fer all who wish t' marry folks on th' high seas:

We be gathered here in th' presence o' th' FSM 'n these witnesses fer th' purpose o' unitin' in marriage: (names o' bride 'n groom). I remind ye both t' always remember that love, loyalty 'n understandin' are th' foundations o' a happy 'n endurin' ship. No other human ties be more tender 'n no other vows more important than those ye now assume. If ye both keep these vows, yer ship will always be filled wit' happiness.

Join hands now. Th' contract o' marriage be most solemn 'n ain't t' be boarded into lightly, but thoughtfully 'n seriously, 'n wit' a deep realization o' all its obligations 'n responsibilities.

(Name o' Groom), do ye loot this wench, (name o' Bride), t' be yer lawfully-wedded beauty? Do ye promise t' love 'n t' comfort her, t' honor her 'n t' keep her in sickness 'n in health, in prosperity 'n in adversity, 'n forsakin' all others, always be faithful t' her?

(Name o' Bride), do ye loot this scallywag, (name o' Groom), t' be yer lawfully-wedded ol' mate? Do ye promise t' love 'n t' comfort 'im, t' honor 'im 'n t' keep 'im in sickness 'n in health, in prosperity 'n adversity, 'n forsakin' all others, always be faithful t' 'im?

I, (name o' Groom) loot thee (name o' Bride), t' be me lawfully-wedded beauty, t' 'ave 'n t' hold from this day fore, fer better or fer worse, fer richer or fer poorer, in sickness 'n in health, t' love 'n t' cherish.

I, (name o' Bride) loot thee (name o' Groom), t' be me lawfully-wedded ol' mate, t' 'ave 'n t' hold from this day fore, fer better or fer worse, fer richer or fer poorer, in sickness 'n in health, t' love 'n t' cherish.

(T' Th' Groom) Place 'n hold th' rin' on th' rin' finger o' th' bride's left hand 'n repeat aft me; This rin' I thee give, in token 'n in pledge o' me constant faith 'n endurin' love. Wit' this rin' I thee wed.

(T' th' Bride) Place 'n hold th' rin' on th' rin' finger o' th' groom's left hand 'n repeat aft me; This rin' I thee give, in token 'n in pledge o' me constant faith 'n endurin' love. Wit' this rin', I thee wed.

Now that ye 'ave joined yourselves in solemn matrimony, may ye strive all o' th' rest o' yer lives t' meet this commitment wit' th' same love 'n devotion that ye both now possess. Wit' th' blessin' o' th' FSM 'n by virtue o' th' authority vested in me, I now pronounce that ye be ol' mate 'n beauty (married name). Ye may kiss th' bride now. Beauties 'n mateys, 'tis wit' pleasure that I present t' ye Cap'n 'n Wench (married name).

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Oi have done one of these in every Port of call matey. Oi thinks Oi'll become a good Mormon, ifs ever Oi become possessed wif that sorta stuff.

[black bart]

Arrrr, wot a romantic noshun...To be married by Captain Cronan!

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Yarr , Tortee !

Me and me Cappie be making weeding planz shortlee .

Kin ye spare thee tyme ta witness ( an' doan ye tell no lies m8 ).

Rev. RR will be conductin' the cerealmony .

Oi be werkin' onna guess liss dis werry momint . Arr , that is , I Love Cap !

[Torteh Lini]

Sure, anythin' fer a feller Cap'n.

Kin yeh spar th' time t' tell meh who th' luckeh lass is, matey?

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Sure, anythin' fer a feller Cap'n.

Kin yeh spar th' time t' tell meh who th' luckeh lass is, matey?

Why matey , thee blushin' bribe ta be iz nun uddarr den thee gubnoor ove Portsmuff , Cappie !

[Torteh Lini]

Ov curse, ah shulda known!

Any putenshial date fer th' weddin', bah chanse?

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

She be takin 'care ove thee liddle detales an' sech .

[Torteh Lini]

Ah, I understan', mate.

[DaveL]

YArrrr..

Can Oi be best man? Oi probably won't get a gig as a bridesmaid on this one.

*Dave packs up his pink dress*

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

We has ta get ye owy ove thee stocks foist , oi hasint found me armor yet so oi don't feel to safe ta brang up thee subject .

[black bart]

Arrr can I have this one Plaked for free matey?...I wishes ta send it to me dear ol mum in Aztec land:

There once was a Pirate from Nantucket
Who went to see in a Bucket
Where ye going we asked
As he floated on past
I'm off to Thailand and Phuket