The Captain's Log

[walktheplank]

yarr I think they want yer stew to build their new ships. Yer stew is so thick it sets rock hard and is cannon proof.

[The Black Spot]

I's don't think the stew be a good sealant. I think the reason Bart's lost so many ships be due t' his crew flingin their fish head slop to the ground. It rots the planks I tell 'ee.

[black bart]

Capn's log Yarr date 20.3.76

YYYAAARRR me n the crew had such a lovely time in Portsmouth I thought I'd liven up me Log with some nice pics:

[The Black Spot]

Arrr Bart,

all those vessels surroundin' yer Aarrghh 9001 in the harbour: be they salvage operators waitin' fer this week's sinking?

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

They be fine pics there Bart. It looks loike yer kidnapped that bouncer and put him on yer ship.

[black bart]

I always gets my best crew members from Porstmouth, they're cheep and don't expect much treasure as long as they gets to fillet a Spaniard now and agin!

[walktheplank]

Bart In Portsmouth did yer crew visit that fine establishment Madame Fifi's. Though I hear it is now under new ownership run by a lady called Brenda

[The Black Spot]

Arrr, Madame Fifi's. The place ye'll always be sure to get more bang fer yer buck.

[black bart]

Capn's log Yarr date the Ides of March

I were nibblin on me biscuit t'other nite when a terrible thought struck me...what if the crew get fed up of four lashins a day!

I always gets a bit nervous about this time o the year. I don't think any o me crew have read Julius Caeser - come to think on it - I don't think any o me crew can read, but bein an all conquerin pirate mastermind with a heap o booty piled up in his cabin can get to playin on a man's mind.

I heared the men a whisperin in the Bilges t'other nite...somethin about -'If we gets Fish Head Stew one more time...mutinous dogs the lot of em!

[DaveL]

29.3.06

Note to self. Send Barts crew Tiddles the cat - an expert mutineer if ever there was one.

[The Black Spot]

Cap'ns log: yarr date 1692.3

I were sailin past the Gold Coast when I spies a vast slick o' fish head stew in me path.

Aha! thinks I, we be back on the trail o' Black Bart at last!

Suddenly I sees loads o' empty R Lager crates an rum barrels floatin in the ocean. Curses thinks I! It not be Bart at all, but me old shipmate DaveL.

Perhaps if I catch 'im up ee'll help me to find the blaggard.

[walktheplank]

captain's Log 0y3a2r0r0r6

tis a sign of Dave L that be. If yer looking for Black Bart yer need to keep a look out fer dead fish. That be a sign that Bart's crew have thrown their rations in the sea. All living creatures will be poisioned on the muck e serves up.

[black bart]

Capn's log Yarr date: 29.03.76

Look out informs me thar be several ships on t'horizon what seem to be followin in our wake. I can only assume they be scoopin up our left over Fish Head Stew - too good for em if ye ask me!

[The Black Spot]

Cap'ns log: yarr date 1692.4

Hoplessly lost. When we left Portsmouth the clocks went forward an hour as we had just changed to British Summer Time. Me dickead navigator said that meant that the clocks in the southern hemisphere went back one hour to compensate. This also meant that the clocks in America went forward 32 minutes, an Africa had gone back by a fortnight.

Anyways, I ended up losin me temper with him so here I am driftin somewhere or other with me navigator hanging from the yardarm. I be sure to find a trail of fish head stew to follow eventually.

[black bart]

Capn's log Yarr date 29.03.76

***locks! Forgot to put the clocks forward! Missed France by 43 degrees and appear to be sailin past Amsterdam!