Alpaca wrote:Go ahead, Duke.
Okay, I'll check it out.
Edit: As far as dogma is concerned in this Myspace page, there is not much.
I found this acceptable, although I will put it here so you can give it the once over:
Flying Spaghetti Monster's Blurbs
About me:
Well, I guess I can start with the obvious. I'm a big ball of Spaghetti with big eyes and noodly apendages. I float around and am pretty much GOD, with all capitals.
I created everything. I have always been, always will be. I have millions of followers of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. My children are called Pastafarians, and you'll know them by the full pirate regalia.
I am currently accepting new members to worship me. Just add as a friend and I shall welcome you into my apendages as only a loving noodle GOD can do.
Your path in the world I have created...
After our noodly embrace, I turn you to the world as true believers. Go forth and tell others about what you have learned here, what true faith, belief, enlightenment, logic, and fallacy are. Post it in bulletins, write it in blogs, and tell your friends that there is only one true GOD, and he has 2 big meatballs; About the biggest pair you've ever seen dingleberry.
I effect all that is. Every time you do something, I am there. Fear not, I try not to pay attention when you're doing.... you know what. So yeah, go forth and be productive.
Here are a few absolute truths that are undeniable:
- The Universe was created by me; an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster. All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by me.
- I created the world starting with a mountain, trees and a midget, and continues to guide human affairs with his "noodly appendage."
- I have provided a glorious Heaven for all of my followers complete with a stripper factory and a beer volcano.
- Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. A graph showing the inverse correlation between the pirates and global temperatures is in my picture section. Please review it. It is undeniable.
- Bobby Henderson is my "prophet" on Earth.
This bit seems okay:
Transitioning from other belief systems.
Look, I'm not here to judge you. Well, I am, but it's cool. I know that you may have been raised with another belief system. Finding out I'm the one pulling the strings can be shocking. Some would call it a revelation. But the transistion doesn't need to be as hard as you think. In fact... believing and having faith in me, the FSM, is just as easy as believing in Jesus, Allah, the Easter Bunny, and Intelligent Design.
You see, to have a rational belief all you need is a little support. You have to be able to test it... and if it's testable, it can become a theory. Lets not get to logical here though. Let's just say that if you already believe in any of the aforementioned all powerful dieties, you're set. I have been very careful to make sure that I fit exactly all of the same arguments for their existence.
So, you think the Christian god is up there... well, you're just a little off... it's me. EASY SWITCH.
Believe in intelligent design.... oh man, I'm perfect for that one. ALL the same arguments. EASY SWITCH.
You see your diety in a window, piece of toast, some sludge on a overpass, in your coffee, or a oil spill? I've got it covered... check out my picture section. I've appeared somewhat regularly... especially in Italian restaurants. I'm not just an arc of a shroud... I'm pretty damn confirmable. EASY SWITCH.
If you are feeling a little uneasy about believing in something you've never seen, has never effected your life, with no proof... just relax. No need to get your brain all working and uppity. Just relax and let me embrace you in my noodly appendages because I love you. I give you strength in times of need. Your grandma said she has proof. Generations have always believed for centuries... and so should you.
However, text at this part of the site I found somewhat questionable. I will post some of it here.
http://tinyurl.com/evgel
JESUS is REAL: Here's the story.
I created Jesus while drunk. Someone bet me whether or not I could fool some guy into believing that his wife wasn't screwing around, but the bet was I I had to make the story really f'ing unbelievable... so I went with (get this!) ummm... his wife was impregnated by an angel.
Holy hell I was laughing so hard I nearly rolled off a hill. So anyways, he buys it hook line and sinker, and now this chick is like crap, now I gotta tell this kid that he's the son of god and keep up this charade for his entire life.
Now that's funny.
Good thing he never compared the son of god witht he goat herder down the street. Dead ringers these two I tell ya. This angel and goat herder probably look like brothers...lol.
Some great slogans I just found
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Every once in a while you guys make me chuckle and spray marinara all over whatever lesser deity I happen to be hanging out with. Yesterday, said lesser deity was Zeus, and man he was pissed, took him an hour to get the sauce out of his beard.
I care about that about 0% though, because I made him, I can break him. Did you know that whenever your mom said "I borught you into this world, I can take you out" she was speaking the words of the good noodle lord?
OK, so here's the slogans. You guys should put these on shirts.
1. Jesus would slap the shit out of you.
It's true, Jesus would slap the shit out of almost every religious zealot on the planet. This "WWJD" campaign is hilarious. Why would jesus slap them? Well, Jesus doesn't like tools. Which is ironic, coming from a carpenter family.
2. Don't pray in my school, I won't think in your church
Ahh, the sweet sweet irony of the truth. School is where the truth is revealed by good science, and Church is where it is obscured by mythology. You pick which one you'd like to do. But I guarantee you you won;t be advancing anything in the latter.
3. Darwin is coming for you
I like this one alot. It sort of makes Darwin, the first guy to catch on to the things I've been laying out for you all. This saying treats him like a brain assasin, and that rocks. I dig it when people get Darwin'd. Don't want to be darwin'd...sorry, just don;t be so stupid that you get ace'd right out of the gene pool.
Smart guy, real smart. By 1860 Darwin had officially forgotten more than you can ever learn from the Bible. You want to know how I know? I'm f'ing omnicient you moron... and that means I just wonder and the answer is in my head. Go ahead, try testing that theory numb nuts. It won't work, i wouldn't let it. How? I'm ALL POWERFUL TOO!! WOOT!!
I don't think that we can sponsor/support all of this, but he has his free speech. We can suggest a few changes, though, I hope? And give him more material, if he wants any.
Duke
