FSM Sightings on the Internet

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

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Postby Duke on Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:35 pm

Alpaca wrote:Go ahead, Duke.



Okay, I'll check it out.

Edit: As far as dogma is concerned in this Myspace page, there is not much.

I found this acceptable, although I will put it here so you can give it the once over:

Flying Spaghetti Monster's Blurbs
About me:
Well, I guess I can start with the obvious. I'm a big ball of Spaghetti with big eyes and noodly apendages. I float around and am pretty much GOD, with all capitals.

I created everything. I have always been, always will be. I have millions of followers of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. My children are called Pastafarians, and you'll know them by the full pirate regalia.

I am currently accepting new members to worship me. Just add as a friend and I shall welcome you into my apendages as only a loving noodle GOD can do.

Your path in the world I have created...
After our noodly embrace, I turn you to the world as true believers. Go forth and tell others about what you have learned here, what true faith, belief, enlightenment, logic, and fallacy are. Post it in bulletins, write it in blogs, and tell your friends that there is only one true GOD, and he has 2 big meatballs; About the biggest pair you've ever seen dingleberry.

I effect all that is. Every time you do something, I am there. Fear not, I try not to pay attention when you're doing.... you know what. So yeah, go forth and be productive.

Here are a few absolute truths that are undeniable:
- The Universe was created by me; an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster. All evidence pointing towards evolution was intentionally planted by me.

- I created the world starting with a mountain, trees and a midget, and continues to guide human affairs with his "noodly appendage."

- I have provided a glorious Heaven for all of my followers complete with a stripper factory and a beer volcano.

- Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. A graph showing the inverse correlation between the pirates and global temperatures is in my picture section. Please review it. It is undeniable.

- Bobby Henderson is my "prophet" on Earth.


This bit seems okay:

Transitioning from other belief systems.
Look, I'm not here to judge you. Well, I am, but it's cool. I know that you may have been raised with another belief system. Finding out I'm the one pulling the strings can be shocking. Some would call it a revelation. But the transistion doesn't need to be as hard as you think. In fact... believing and having faith in me, the FSM, is just as easy as believing in Jesus, Allah, the Easter Bunny, and Intelligent Design.

You see, to have a rational belief all you need is a little support. You have to be able to test it... and if it's testable, it can become a theory. Lets not get to logical here though. Let's just say that if you already believe in any of the aforementioned all powerful dieties, you're set. I have been very careful to make sure that I fit exactly all of the same arguments for their existence.

So, you think the Christian god is up there... well, you're just a little off... it's me. EASY SWITCH.

Believe in intelligent design.... oh man, I'm perfect for that one. ALL the same arguments. EASY SWITCH.

You see your diety in a window, piece of toast, some sludge on a overpass, in your coffee, or a oil spill? I've got it covered... check out my picture section. I've appeared somewhat regularly... especially in Italian restaurants. I'm not just an arc of a shroud... I'm pretty damn confirmable. EASY SWITCH.

If you are feeling a little uneasy about believing in something you've never seen, has never effected your life, with no proof... just relax. No need to get your brain all working and uppity. Just relax and let me embrace you in my noodly appendages because I love you. I give you strength in times of need. Your grandma said she has proof. Generations have always believed for centuries... and so should you.



However, text at this part of the site I found somewhat questionable. I will post some of it here.

http://tinyurl.com/evgel


JESUS is REAL: Here's the story.

I created Jesus while drunk. Someone bet me whether or not I could fool some guy into believing that his wife wasn't screwing around, but the bet was I I had to make the story really f'ing unbelievable... so I went with (get this!) ummm... his wife was impregnated by an angel.

Holy hell I was laughing so hard I nearly rolled off a hill. So anyways, he buys it hook line and sinker, and now this chick is like crap, now I gotta tell this kid that he's the son of god and keep up this charade for his entire life.

Now that's funny.

Good thing he never compared the son of god witht he goat herder down the street. Dead ringers these two I tell ya. This angel and goat herder probably look like brothers...lol.





Some great slogans I just found
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Every once in a while you guys make me chuckle and spray marinara all over whatever lesser deity I happen to be hanging out with. Yesterday, said lesser deity was Zeus, and man he was pissed, took him an hour to get the sauce out of his beard.

I care about that about 0% though, because I made him, I can break him. Did you know that whenever your mom said "I borught you into this world, I can take you out" she was speaking the words of the good noodle lord?

OK, so here's the slogans. You guys should put these on shirts.

1. Jesus would slap the shit out of you.
It's true, Jesus would slap the shit out of almost every religious zealot on the planet. This "WWJD" campaign is hilarious. Why would jesus slap them? Well, Jesus doesn't like tools. Which is ironic, coming from a carpenter family.

2. Don't pray in my school, I won't think in your church
Ahh, the sweet sweet irony of the truth. School is where the truth is revealed by good science, and Church is where it is obscured by mythology. You pick which one you'd like to do. But I guarantee you you won;t be advancing anything in the latter.

3. Darwin is coming for you
I like this one alot. It sort of makes Darwin, the first guy to catch on to the things I've been laying out for you all. This saying treats him like a brain assasin, and that rocks. I dig it when people get Darwin'd. Don't want to be darwin'd...sorry, just don;t be so stupid that you get ace'd right out of the gene pool.

Smart guy, real smart. By 1860 Darwin had officially forgotten more than you can ever learn from the Bible. You want to know how I know? I'm f'ing omnicient you moron... and that means I just wonder and the answer is in my head. Go ahead, try testing that theory numb nuts. It won't work, i wouldn't let it. How? I'm ALL POWERFUL TOO!! WOOT!!



I don't think that we can sponsor/support all of this, but he has his free speech. We can suggest a few changes, though, I hope? And give him more material, if he wants any.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby Alpaca on Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:11 pm

Go for it, man. I know I support smiting everything emo.

Taking liberties, cracking jokes, et cetera is okay, as long as you stay on message. The message is ID-not-science, not religion-sucks. Your stuff didn't seem bad, though.
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Postby Sir Francis Drake on Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:16 pm

In the second section, you may need to fix " Lets not get to logical" so it reads "Let's not get too logical", if I understand it correctly.

I'm not sure about the laughing at Jesus stuff will be well received. I wonder if there's a gentler way to put that. I would think that an omnipotent Diety would have compassion enough not to tread too hard on people's dearly held beliefs, however askew they may be. FSM sounds a tad too cocky here, and He wouldn't need to be.

I'm not a Christian per se, but as I understand it, Jesus suffered and therefore people relate well to him because he's not just an aloof God with no knowledge of strife. When you're laughing at Jesus (or anyone else's Dieties), it may seem to these people that you are laughing at their suffering as well. Know what I mean?
Taste the truth, savor the satire, pass the pasta!

Dona Nobis Pasta

-Opsanus tau
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Postby Unpatient on Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:28 pm

Another Webcomic FSM sighting, this time in Sore Thumbs

http://www.sorethumbsonline.com/d/20050914.html
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Postby Tickle on Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:37 pm

Hmmm... The FSM seems a bit too vengeful in that cartoon for my tastes, especially the bit when the Christian got swallowed up.

Nice find though.
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Postby Harlequin on Thu Mar 23, 2006 2:01 pm

As a recent (very) convert to Pastafarianism I feel I ought to show where I first heard of the one true faith. It was (all things considered) in a very odd place...The Al Jazeera website!

http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/4DB56785-CA49-462B-B8AE-6B8B102CC15F.htm

I've since brought the word to my forum that I moderate, I see that I had no option. I must spread the word :worship:
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Postby Alpaca on Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:06 pm

Whoa! That's an interesting place for it to pop up! Good find.
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Postby Flying_Spaghetti_Worship on Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:20 am

I am not sure if this really belongs in this forum, but for those of you who have watched Pokemon in the past..

http://images.google.ca/images?q=tangel ... gela&hl=en
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Postby Alpaca on Wed Apr 05, 2006 7:38 am

Tangela sounds like Tangelo.

Hence, the Tangelo was FSM-inspired.

Hence, both the orange and the tangerine were FSM-created.

Further proof.
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Postby jump_in_the_pit on Wed May 03, 2006 1:23 am

All praise to His holy creations NGC 2207 and IC 2163 and
also thanks be to Him for this sign of His greatness made
in his own image!

http://www.universetoday.com/am/publish ... tml?252006

May meatballs grace the plates of the Pastafarians and
may He keep our noggins noodley.

RaHaHaHamen :D
- steve s.
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Postby DeadPoet on Tue May 09, 2006 2:32 pm

Having it from an email, I don't know exactly where it's from ("an iPod skin site.."), but it's rather self-explanatory:

Image
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Postby Duke on Tue May 09, 2006 4:05 pm

I am going to get one of those. :)


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Potty

Postby black bart on Thu May 18, 2006 6:08 am

Has anyone seen the brilliant new ad campaign for 'Pot Noodle'. It involves a small Welsh village where the miners are mining for Noodles instead of coal - it's hilarious. It's a TV advert but you can read about it at the beeb's website:

Fuel for britain - Isn't it!


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/4753813.stm
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Postby Dr. Otis Lansa on Thu May 18, 2006 11:05 am

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Postby Blackspot_Isaiah on Fri May 19, 2006 11:57 am

Bobby's letter made it into a sermon at this Unitarian Universalist fellowhip:

http://www.theuufellowship.org/_sermons/050821.htm

I always knew that our Noodly Lord would have a place in the tolerant and open-minded Unitarian Universalist religion. I really like UUs and used to be one myself.
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