Virgins v Strippers

[wavering]

I notice that you guys are promising a stripper factory in heaven, which is a pretty good start BUT the Moslems, are offering me 72 virgins if I become a martyr. So can you ... er ... flesh out the stripper aspects a little? Do we get to only watch or do these strippers ... er ... actively participate, so to speak?

You also need to give some thought to chicks - not all chicks like watching strippers. So, do they get to have hunks or maybe knitting circles? Not that I give a damn about what chicks want ( I'm English ) but neither do the Moslems so that may give you an edge in the market ...

[Sylvie369]

I notice that you guys are promising a stripper factory in heaven, which is a pretty good start BUT the Moslems, are offering me 72 virgins if I become a martyr. So can you ... er ... flesh out the stripper aspects a little? Do we get to only watch or do these strippers ... er ... actively participate, so to speak?

You also need to give some thought to chicks - not all chicks like watching strippers. So, do they get to have hunks or maybe knitting circles? Not that I give a damn about what chicks want ( I'm English ) but neither do the Moslems so that may give you an edge in the market ...

Er, "Chicks"?

Good question, though, re. the strippers. I assume that any heaven worthy of that title promises active participation, and that the stripper factory is simply a great way to provide people of both genders who are particularly skilled at motivating that participation. As some of the female FSMers have pointed out, actually removing the clothes is not always necessary (one suggested that Johnny Depp would be more to her liking than a random stripper, and could stay clothed as long as he did certain other things). Skilled strippers, of course, are well aware of that fact.

Of course some of the FSMers in the afterlife may prefer strippers who simply peel it all off as quickly as possible, but that is only one of many possible stripper behaviors. I am sure that all will be accommodated, and yes, there must be the opportunity for active participation as well.

I myself plan to stake myself out by the factory's loading dock where the Middle Eastern strippers come out, though I hope it's located near the one where the Hispanic ones emerge.

[Athas]

meh, all i ask is that the strippers are available after work... not like whores, but like normal people...(or angels, idk how they would look :P)

[VeryGnawty]

\

You also need to give some thought to chicks - not all chicks like watching strippers. So, do they get to have hunks or maybe knitting circles?

Free ecchi?

[Cerberus]

Yeah wavering, no-one said that the strippers were all female. I mean if they were Dee Dee and Capellini would kill us all. There are equal and ever changing numbers of strippers, all of whom are approachable "after work". The idea of you being offered Virgins as property is not exactly keeping with our ideas of equality of the sexes and all that. SO to sum up. Yes there will be strippers, Yes they will be of both genders, Yes they are up for the party.

Done and done. Hope all q's are answered.

Cerberus

[Cynicus]

Now (and I know I'm opening myself up for several cheap-shots here but...) could I, in heaven, become a stripper myself? Or would it be an example of an oversaturated market, not alloweing up and commers?

[GrueMaster]

In the Muslem religion, the deciples get 72 virgins. From what I understand about theology & anatomy, to only way they can be virgins, is complete and total abstinance.

That would really suck (oops, not even that much, as I'm sure fellatio would count at defiling the virgin soul).

GrueMaster

You have moved into a dark place.
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

> Kiss grue
I'd sooner kiss a pig.

[rickyroma]

the Moslems, are offering me 72 virgins

Muslim heaven sucks because you can't ejaculate in the afterlife so it's eternal teasing.

[TBoneTheBovine]

the Moslems, are offering me 72 virgins

Muslim heaven sucks because you can't ejaculate in the afterlife so it's eternal teasing.

hmm, I've had a few people tell me they've ejaculated in the afterlife.

[dust]

That's the point, what if your virgings are all used up? The factory will keep producing those strippers even after you're done with your first 72 (for whatever you do to get "done" with them").

-dust

[rickyroma]

That's the point, what if your virgings are all used up?

I guess you'd have to keep it anal and oral AND not ejaculate.

Those poor muslims. May :fsm_crazy: have mercy on them for they know not what they do.

[freethinker]

Who wants a virgin anyways?

Oi likes me wenches with some x'prience

[Cerberus]

It wasn't a big black truck with FBI painted on the side was it DD?

[MTL]

In heaven, some of the strippers will be virgins. For a few minutes.

[The Cheat]

The strippers will be for all, and there will be whatever you want, as will the beer.