The Captain's Log

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Do ye keep a Log?

Every day
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Every Week
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Total votes : 60

Postby walktheplank on Mon Feb 06, 2006 12:52 pm

I fear this is the evil Black Bart who in order to avoid detection by the Royal Navy, Pirate Captains and SSOSS (Stop Shagging our Sheep Society) he has cloned himself. Aye you think you may ave caught the varmint and thrown him to the sharks but ow do u know it is the original Black Bart. The seas are not safe when this imposter is sailing the seven seas with his wok and deep fat fryer. All Pirate Captains need to go on a murderous spree and slaughter anything with ginger hair, this includes Chris Evans, Paul Scholes and Mick Hucknell, never liked any of em anyways
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Feb 06, 2006 1:00 pm

Capn's Log, Yarr Date 1691.7

I's be readin Cap'n Walktheplank's message out t' me crew. The memories o' the awful rat canapes Bart once served up to them got 'em all fired up in a killin frenzy.

They ran round the deck shoutin "Death t' the gingers!", an ended up 'anging me pet hamster.
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Postby DaveL on Mon Feb 06, 2006 4:30 pm

7.2.05

Busy constructin' me ultimate pirate super weapon that will make the galaxy quake in its boots. Can someone tell me what 'the force' is, for it be disruptin' me plans...Arrrrrr...

Oi moight 'ave to get me Arrghh Troopers and Fleet into action over the forest moon of Endor.

Rumour 'as it that Black Spot, Griffin, Amenable, Duke and Swatopluk survived me issuin' of Order 66. YArrrrr...Oi think we missed a few Bart, Bart and Bart...bugger!!

Excuse me while Oi again do battle with the little green bugger with the pointy ears. YArrrr...

PS Why does he sound like a muppet?
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Postby Duke on Mon Feb 06, 2006 7:23 pm

Captain's Log
4/3/05
Attacked by anotha' pirate ship today, lookin' fer loot. The ship was "The Bright Gates". We pummeled it, and grabbed some booty.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Hair today

Postby black bart on Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:10 am

Capn's log yar date: 7.11

Stopped off at the shops to buy some Hair Dye. :D
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby amenabletopasta on Tue Feb 07, 2006 5:40 pm

Adm'ral Amenable Akbar's Log

Yarrr Date: -10,000,000.3.10 (a long time ago)

Location:
Image
(a galaxy far far away)

Avast! Me new ginger crew turned on me whilst we be acquirin' rations from the 'Lucky Mollusc' Chinese take-away, Portsmouth. Fer some reason, the swabs all ordered Chicken Chow Mein (number 66 on t' menu) then started shootin' at me with their flintlocks.

Luckily, they all be 'aving some sort o' genetic flaw so's they can't hit the side o' a Mon Calamari Star Cruiser from ten paces. Managed t' escape by usin' me mind tricks ter make 'em think Oi be a noodle (will 'ave ter thank Cap'n Derren Brown next time Oi be seeing 'im). Unfortunately, ter add ter the effect Oi threw meself into a vat o' boiling-hot sweet 'n' sour sauce, 'n' now all me skin be very red and tender:

Image
(Oi be the one on the right)

Oi be suspectin' DaveL Sidious may be behind all this. Oi's gathered a fleet an' we be sailin' towards a forest-island called Endor, as the bilgerat's Death Aargh 9000 be anchored thar fer repairs. What's more - according ter what Honest Bart tells me - its ultimate pirate super weapon "don't be fully operational...absolutely not...cross me treasure map 'n' hope ter die".
Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song, and there's always noodles in the air :fsm:
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Postby DaveL on Wed Feb 08, 2006 6:36 am

8.2.06

Yarrrrr...things be gettin' more excitin! Those Rebels be in big trouble now!!

Rowed the Mini-Arghhh 9000 (row boat) ashore to the Forest Island of Endor. For we hears that Amenable and a group of furry little native creatures the Arggh-woks be tryin' to disable the shield generators on the Death Stargghh 9000.

Little do they know, O'ive set a trap for them. Oi've sent me apprentice Mr Darth Vadarghhhhh ashore to ambush 'em. His heavy breathin' will get them, coz O'ive just given 'im a bowl of me fish head stew.

Theys be in big trouble now!

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Apple Barrel Suprise

Postby black bart on Wed Feb 08, 2006 11:32 am

Capn's log Yar Date 8.2.76

Hair dye failed to work. Me and the gingery clones were havin a Pirate meetin in the Galley, when what we thought was an apple barrel, turned out to be AArrrgh2 D2. He were listenin in to our plans to invade the Forrest Island of Endor and beemin our secret plans to the Aargh Woks! :?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby Duke on Wed Feb 08, 2006 8:34 pm

I too was in A Galaxy Far, Far Away, with my flagship the Vindicator. We ran across the wrong side of the Death Ball, and the Emperials are after us now. We tried to team up with the Rebals, but they smell funny. We need a plan.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:56 am

Captain's Log, Yarr Date 1691.8

I's renamed me ship "The Liberator", an hast decided t' fight the evil federation. This decision be causin' another mutiny in the ranks, an I ended throwin most o' the swabs to the sharks.

Because there not be many of us left at the moment, we be callin' ourselves "Black's 7"

Yarrrr....
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Postby walktheplank on Thu Feb 09, 2006 9:35 am

you be careful with your new ship Liberator. As I ere there is a pirate ship chasin after you. Its cap'n be prety scary called Servalan, however it is the first mate you need to watch, a murdering pirate called Travis, an evil pirate he be with is eye patch and laser gun. What is the world comin to when pirates do not use cutlasses an pistols anymore

yarr
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Postby DaveL on Thu Feb 09, 2006 5:02 pm

10.2.05

Oi laid me trap to perfection. Darth and Amenable be fightin' a wicked light cutlass duel on the Death Starghhh 9000, while the other ships be fightin' outside.

Oi need to check me Lightining-from-hands users manual...Yarrrgghhh, Oi think Oi need new batteries.

Think O'ill shoot down to the Endor 7/11 to get some Ever Ready D cells...stay there Darth and Amenable, don't kill each other till Oi get back.

Yarrrr...
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Postby Duke on Thu Feb 09, 2006 6:55 pm

Which evil federation was you fighting?

I am still in a life or death struggle with the Emperial Empire of Emperialistic Emperials.


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Postby The Black Spot on Thu Feb 09, 2006 8:52 pm

Duke wrote:Which evil federation was you fighting?


Arrrr, it be the evil terraaaaaaaan empire run by Supreme Commandaaar Servalan. Ye not be a Brit, so I'lls send yer a PM about it.
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Postby Duke on Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:02 pm

Garr! Thanks!!


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen
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Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
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Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
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