Wedgie Document

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Postby Alpaca on Sun Dec 25, 2005 12:27 am

I've updated the list of scientists. That list needs to be severely reviewed, since the nicknames I've come up with have a good chance of being too puerile, too esoteric, or just plain bad.
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Postby FireFox on Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:03 pm

Alpaca wrote:
FireFox wrote:# One hundred scientific, academic and technical articles peer reviewed by ourselves

I would propose that the spread of these documents includes:
the obvious design of the human body to accept pasta, and pasta like foods, as a easy source of fuel. this could be expanded to include high performance athletics, weight management and everyday conviance
the convergency of modern thoeries of physics with FSM
the physical construction and properties of pasta (both cooked and uncooked), also the binding properties of various sauces and additivies
various health enhancing properties of additives to pasta

S


Where would we put this? The goals section of the wedge document contains (ha-ha) materialistic goals only, i.e. numbers of articles, books, etc. Should this be integrated into the introductory paragraph?


I was thinking of clarifying the 'One hundred scientific, academic and technical articles peer reviewed by ourselves' into key areas of research and also providing us with an objective assessment method of how well we are attaining our goals

S
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Postby Alpaca on Sun Dec 25, 2005 9:10 pm

I've integrated those in. How'dya like it?
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Postby MusMusculus on Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:38 pm

perhaps we should pursue actively researching the atomic wedgie.
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Postby darren996 on Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:44 pm

Ahhh! The nuclear option. :mrgreen:
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Postby Griffin on Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:46 pm

I like integration. Sat next to a guy who gets rid of Nuclear Waste tonight.
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Postby Long Gone McGruff on Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:44 pm

I'm taking a break for the New Year weekend (heading off to a highland lodge - no electricity never mind broadband) but will definitely get back to this when I return.
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Postby Chimaera on Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:22 pm

Can I suggest directly parodying the Wedge folks by listing our own supporting scientists with dubious or inappropriate credentials together with cited publications. I was musing along the following lines:

Herman Schmidt, PhD (comparative philology), Velikovsky memorial scholar and head of the FSM Institute's department of optical studies. Author of such seminal publications as:

James Clerk Maxwell and the Myth of Electromagnetic Radiation, first published as a series of talks on Radio New Dworkin.
Maxwell's Equations Debunked, 7pp, pointing out Maxwell's use of Greek letters to hide the flaws in his arguments.
How to Build a Faster-Than-Light Paper Aircraft, leaflet for distribution in schools etc. A practical and instructive project for children aged 7-12. Small parts may cause choking hazard for younger children.
Photons and Pornography, showing the direct link between Maxwell's discredited ideas and the collapse of morality in the post Maxwell era.
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Postby Alpaca on Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:42 pm

Certainly. I'll edit those into the draft somehow.

More scientists would be good.
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Postby Griffin on Sun Jan 01, 2006 8:32 pm

Nethaniel Winter-Wartson Herr Prof. (Life Sciences)

FSM : Life before Mars and Venus A series of talks to be held at the Planetarium of Good Hope for doctorial students every 2nd Wednesday of the 3rd month.
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Postby Chimaera on Mon Jan 02, 2006 3:36 pm

Griffin wrote:the Planetarium of Good Hope


For some reason this conjours up a delightful image of the FSM reaching out with his noodly appendage and, with infinite delicacy, placing each of those tiny lights in the sky for us.

How much better than the absurd suggestion that the stars are perfectly arranged into the well known and loved constellations by pure chance. I mean. Ursa Major, Orion, Cassiopeia -- design or what. What is the probability that the pole star would end up exactly where it is by a purely random process? Sheesh. My money is on His noodly appendage.
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Postby Griffin on Mon Jan 02, 2006 4:42 pm

Chimaera wrote:
Griffin wrote:the Planetarium of Good Hope


For some reason this conjours up a delightful image of the FSM reaching out with his noodly appendage and, with infinite delicacy, placing each of those tiny lights in the sky for us.


I believe Nathaniel Winter-Wartson once proposed that those same stars were in fact little sparkly warts.
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:04 pm

Nathaniel has been added to the document.

Chimaera, that is an excellent theory. Where would you like it put within the document?

We still need more scientists.
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Postby teripie on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:14 pm

Oh, I love it. Little sparkily warts. Make more sense than a bunch of giant fireballs, much like our sun. Isn't it silly to think that there is another sun out there? Just look in the sky, you only see one right?
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Postby Alpaca on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:15 pm

And what's with this whole "Ball of gas" idea? It's obviously the light of the eternal pasta.
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