Ongoing Pun Competition

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Roy Hunter
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Roy Hunter » Sat Dec 07, 2013 2:21 pm

A trolley dolly backed into the aeroplane's propellor. Dis-arsed-er.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Sat Dec 28, 2013 3:19 am

A Scottish farmer sees a Welsh farmer with two sheep under his arms and he asks, "Are you gonna shear them?” "Nope", says the Welshman, "they’re both for me".
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Monobaz
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Monobaz » Tue Nov 18, 2014 4:07 am

Roy Hunter wrote:I was trying to decide whether to get a frontal lobotomy or not, but to be honest it's a no-brainer.


I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages." Ruth Hurmence Green

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ET, the Extra Terrestrial
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:20 am

You guys want to hear an ebola joke? You probably won't get it.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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daftbeaker
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby daftbeaker » Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:10 pm

One from a student today:

I'm a rastafarian musician and my instrument is the triangle. I just stand at the back and ting.
There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this - Sir Terry Pratchett

The great thing about Beaker is his ability to provoke while still being decorous, or at least within acceptable rules of conduct - Qwertyuiopasd

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bonsaiherb
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby bonsaiherb » Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:38 am

I believe all such frivolous wordplay is to be punished? and that perhaps we need a punitentiary for offenders.


Old one I remember: "I saw VanGogh in my local. I offered him a drink, but he declined with,'no thanks, I've got one 'ere."


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