Moderator: All Things Mods
Cardinal Fang wrote:Do pasta and spaghetti have a gender?
Manager: A Female Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:25 Some wicked historians have misrepresented me as a man. This is due to the fact that each one of my noodles appears to be longer than the penis of any of the 107,178,325 men that I created on day two.
26 Even though I was drunk that day and made many mistakes, I didn't make that mistake.
27 I have two large meatballs that appeared to be testicles. They are actually breasts but I seen no reason to make a big deal about it.
28 The most common reason that I have been described as a man is because a male deity is better equipped to enter the subconscious mind of women and cause her to blindly submit to any male that sits in a role of authority.
29 A male deity has little effect on men.
30 False male gods have ruled the world for almost four hundred years leaving males in a state of murderous chaos.
42 That's when all the speculation began about me being of the male gender.
43 Even though I was rooting for the death of the infidels that corrupted my calendar, the fighting made me very sad.
44 I looked down upon the earth and saw the blood of humans.
45 The blood was red like the sauce of my mother and sisters.
46 War always causes me to be sad and puts me in a bad mood.
47 War reminds me of my mother and the pain that she has caused me.
48 On that day I withdrew to the heavens and started making plans to devise a religion that would end all fighting.
49 The male of the human species cannot be trusted to carry my message.
50 There have been zero deaths attributed to those who serve me. I have been very careful to keep it that way.
51 Vasudera, it will be your responsibility to make sure this book gets into the hands of as many females with a college education as possible.
52 A female deity will enter the subconscious mind of men and cause them to blindly submit to any female that sits in a role of authority.
53 A female deity will have little effect on women.
54 The women do not need a goddess to remind them to love their husband, their children, their country, their planet and their fellow humans.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Page 113 wrote:"Having now perused the many facets of
Pastafarianism, I believe there is great scope
for women in this religion. Clearly the FSM
has aspects of both male and female, with
both 'Noodly Appendages' and two round
meatballs, which clearly represent the breasts
of the Great Mother Goddess."—Susanjohnston, Ph.D.
The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest