It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this tonight.
Molly attacked another dog in the street today. No warning, no provocation, she latched onto its neck and refused to let go even with fairly extreme encouragement to do so. That was the fifth dog she has attacked in very similar circumstances in just about nine months that we have had her. I could not tell you how many times she has 'started' on another dog, but I have had time and space to restrain her.
She has been a ball of nervous energy ever since we got her, she pulls constantly on the lead, she will not sit, she will not stay, she will not stop at the edge of the road. More to the point, my wife and I have expended a lot of energy and time trying to stop her from sensing threats from other dogs, calming her down, offering her rewards and treats. Classical conditioning, operant conditioning, incremental desensitisation, we have tried everything we can to get this dog to calm down and stop going for other dogs. None of it has worked. Not even a little bit.
Molly weighs nearly 30kg, and it is all muscle and bone - she can really do some damage. My wife cannot walk Molly as she is pulled off her feet regularly. Molly doesn't care, she shows no remorse or learning from it, and my wife is now scared of her. I can barely control Molly at the best of times, but when she attacks like she did today, I've got no chance. After separating the two dogs, I am a bloody mess. My bathwater was pink, my bruises are settling into a nice black colour. My right thumb is a mess, I need to see a doctor.
I am constantly stressed when I am out with Molly. That is not good for someone with my mental health history. It is taking its toll on our lives, on our marriage, and if it continues I confidently expect to be arrested for failing to control my dog. I cannot invite friends with children round to the house. I cannot go and visit people even if they say "Bring your dogs, hey! It'll be great..." No, it won't. My dog will attack your dog. Or your neighbour's dog. My dog is a dick.
And that is why I am very sad tonight. Last time Molly attacked another dog, about a month and a half ago, my wife and I agreed that she was on her last chance. But despite all the work we have put in with her, despite giving her the best home we can and spoiling her rotten, she continues to be completely uncontrollable. Now she has to go back to the shelter.
This is not an easy decision for us. We accepted Molly as part of our family, and we loved her and spoiled her and let her sleep on our beds. Now we have to send her away. But we simply cannot continue this way. There is nothing more we can do with her.
And I am very sad about that.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.