10,000 (more) Commandments

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Roy Hunter
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter » Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:56 am

9113: Windows hath *not* discovered new hardware - I went unto the shops (or the internets) and bought new hardware, then I plugged it in to you, you self-centred smug git of a computer.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
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"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:08 am

^ :lol:
9112: Thou shalt shun the evil 'Windows' and thou shalt take up thine ipad and walk.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby la la » Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:52 am

9111: Thou shalt remember that to forget to include the bacon bits in thy delicious quiche is a grave offense and will lead to much heartache and mild ostracism. Thou shalt then have to promise to never ever forget the bacon bits again.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby DavidH » Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:41 pm

9110 Thou shalt not offer the quiche unto the rabbi, nor into the imam, unless the bacon bits be not therein.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Mon Oct 22, 2012 8:38 am

9109: Thou shalt not serve 'Chicken Cordon Bleu' to thine Muslim wedding guests. :facewall:
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:59 am

9108: Thou shalt not seriously piss off thine senior management.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:21 am

9107: Thou shalt seriously piss off! Seriously! :furious:
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:17 am

Almighty Doer of Stuff wrote:9107: Thou shalt seriously piss off! Seriously! :furious:


?????

9106: Thou shalt go and throw thineself over the gunnels.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:16 am

9105: Thou shalt not leave Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers left over from Monkey on my desk when I come back to work after the holidays.

9104: Thou shalt take down the Christmas decorations in the office when thou art supposed to, thou bunch of slackers.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff » Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:34 pm

black bart wrote:?????


:nefyoobash:

9103: Thou shalt confuse Black Bart and bonk him on the head.

:nefyoobash: :nefyoobash: :nefyoobash:
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
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black bart
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:53 am

9102: Thou shalt stand proudlee on thee poop deck wiv pompositee and purpose, looking at thee porpoyses and thee pilchards.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker » Wed Feb 06, 2013 4:00 pm

9101: Thou shalt pay attention when thou art shaving. If'n thou dost not and, for instance, beginneth daydreaming about whether B&Q sell titanium screws, then thou art liable to open thine face with thine razor.
Don't let the mechanics of beer trick you into thinking you are some kind of warrior, eating barbed wire on the wave of violent disorder. Three words: cage, wheel, hamster - Jason Williamson

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff » Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:21 pm

9100: Thou shalt not attempt to shave with a fork. Thou shalt look very silly if thou doth.

9099: However, if thou hath a suitably sharp-edged knork, thou may shave with that.
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
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black bart
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart » Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:25 am

9098: Though shalt curse thine very gods that a downward motion of the razor never completes the job and thou must employ a dangerous upward motion which nicketh thine chops in sundry places.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker » Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:05 pm

9097: Thou shalt not get bored with a split lip from the cold weather and try to peel off the dead skin. Verily, thou shalt end up peeling off live skin as well and spend 10 minutes removing blood from thine chin.
Don't let the mechanics of beer trick you into thinking you are some kind of warrior, eating barbed wire on the wave of violent disorder. Three words: cage, wheel, hamster - Jason Williamson

I would rather be a rising ape than a falling angel - Sir Terry Pratchett


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