10,000 (more) Commandments

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby StJason on Sun Jul 29, 2012 8:25 pm

9155: Thou shalt not repeat thyself.

9154: Thou shalt not repeat thyself.

9153: Dammit. How many times doest I have to sayest it? Thou shalt not repeat thyself!
---
Darwin's Purge, verse 39.


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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:06 pm

9152: Thou shall complain unto thine judges and get moved up to the Silver Medal position, relegating Britain to the Bronze!!! :furious: ( Olympic Gymnastics).
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby DavidH on Tue Jul 31, 2012 8:09 am

9151. If thou wouldst win, thou shalt take more drugs than the other buggers.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Tue Jul 31, 2012 8:13 am

9150. Thou shalt record all the stages of the women's beach volleyball contest...forsooth to compare it with earlier contests.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:33 am

9149: Thou shalt send thy recordings to me, as thou didst with thine earlier recordings.

9148: Thou shalt record it in HD 3D this time.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:58 am

9147: Thou shalt explain what all the fuss is about with the beach volleyball.

9146: If'n thou wishesh to perve at olympic athletes, thou shalt watch the women's football :love:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Wed Aug 01, 2012 11:21 am

9145: unless thou art a Lady Pirate or a Pirate Friend of Dorothy, in which case the men's gymnastics or the swimming might float your boat.

9144: unless thou art a Lady Pirate in Comfortable Seaboots, in which case thou can get right back to the beach volleyball or the ladies football again.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:11 am

9143: Thou shalt not pretend to lose on National television unless you are the New Labour Party.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Sat Aug 11, 2012 7:38 pm

9142: Thou shalt not pick at dead skin for thou shalt inevitably pull off healthy skin as well and get blood on the carpet.

9141: If'n thou ignorest the last commandment then thou shalt at least have a sharp pair of nail scissors and some plasters handy.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:47 pm

9140: Thou shalt not plaster over wallpaper. Ever. Not even a little bit. Just don't. No.

9139: If thou fittest laminate flooring in thy house, thou shalt move thy wardrobes out of the way and lay flooring from wall to wall, instead of leaving thy wardrobes where they are and leaving gaps in the flooring under the wardrobes, and of course not buying / keeping sufficient laminate to filleth thee gaps. Thou dick.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Fri Aug 24, 2012 10:51 pm

9138 : Thou shalt not steppeth uponst mine blue suede shoes .
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby la la on Sat Aug 25, 2012 3:48 am

9137: Thou shalt not have a hearty laugh at the expense of or make mockery of any of thy brethren in the event of any DIY-home-decor mishaps. For is it not true that even the smallest anomaly in the pattern is essential to the pattern itself? What is true of a butterfly's wings must also be true of gaps in the floorboards.

9136: And thou shalt offer all manner of useful and handy tips to all thy brethren, even those who have never ever picked up a hammer, especially such tips as are obvious with twenty-twenty hindsight vision. For the wise man, or indeed woman, learns from the mistakes of others. Especially when those mistakes are rather humorous.
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"And the new day was a great big fish." Terry Pratchett

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Sat Aug 25, 2012 5:42 am

9135: Thou shalt not describe two gaping chasms of 18" x 6' each as 'gaps in the floorboards'. I shalt have to put the sofas over them for the moment.

9134: Layest thou not laminate flooring with a hammer, for it is folly and thou shalt have to return to the shop to get more, where old men in overalls shalt laugh at thou and thy broken laminates. Tap it into place with a bit of wood instead.

9133: The person thou bought thy house from is still a dick, though.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:41 am

9133 : thou shalt notte layeth thine hands uponst Superman's rainment.

9132 : Thou shalt notte spitteth into thee wind . .

9131: Thou shalt notte layeth thine hands uponst thee elder Lone Ranger 's mask.
*addendum*

9130: Thou shalt notte trouble Slim .
Remembering St. John
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Remembering times of innocence
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby la la on Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:51 am

9129: And if thou wouldst be a hustler, thou shalt remember the lesson of what befell Jim, and thou shalt be sure to keep 9130 in mind when encountering a stranger.
"There's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go!" e e cummings

"And the new day was a great big fish." Terry Pratchett

"WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?" Terry Pratchett (yes again, I'm afraid. He's my absolute favourite author)
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