10,000 (more) Commandments

[StJason]

9155: Thou shalt not repeat thyself.

9154: Thou shalt not repeat thyself.

9153: Dammit. How many times doest I have to sayest it? Thou shalt not repeat thyself!

[black bart]

9152: Thou shall complain unto thine judges and get moved up to the Silver Medal position, relegating Britain to the Bronze!!! ( Olympic Gymnastics).

[DavidH]

9151. If thou wouldst win, thou shalt take more drugs than the other buggers.

[black bart]

9150. Thou shalt record all the stages of the women's beach volleyball contest...forsooth to compare it with earlier contests.

[Roland Deschain]

9149: Thou shalt send thy recordings to me, as thou didst with thine earlier recordings.

9148: Thou shalt record it in HD 3D this time.

[daftbeaker]

9147: Thou shalt explain what all the fuss is about with the beach volleyball.

9146: If'n thou wishesh to perve at olympic athletes, thou shalt watch the women's football

[Roy Hunter]

9145: unless thou art a Lady Pirate or a Pirate Friend of Dorothy, in which case the men's gymnastics or the swimming might float your boat.

9144: unless thou art a Lady Pirate in Comfortable Seaboots, in which case thou can get right back to the beach volleyball or the ladies football again.

[black bart]

9143: Thou shalt not pretend to lose on National television unless you are the New Labour Party.

[daftbeaker]

9142: Thou shalt not pick at dead skin for thou shalt inevitably pull off healthy skin as well and get blood on the carpet.

9141: If'n thou ignorest the last commandment then thou shalt at least have a sharp pair of nail scissors and some plasters handy.

[Roy Hunter]

9140: Thou shalt not plaster over wallpaper. Ever. Not even a little bit. Just don't. No.

9139: If thou fittest laminate flooring in thy house, thou shalt move thy wardrobes out of the way and lay flooring from wall to wall, instead of leaving thy wardrobes where they are and leaving gaps in the flooring under the wardrobes, and of course not buying / keeping sufficient laminate to filleth thee gaps. Thou dick.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

9138 : Thou shalt not steppeth uponst mine blue suede shoes .

[la la]

9137: Thou shalt not have a hearty laugh at the expense of or make mockery of any of thy brethren in the event of any DIY-home-decor mishaps. For is it not true that even the smallest anomaly in the pattern is essential to the pattern itself? What is true of a butterfly's wings must also be true of gaps in the floorboards.

9136: And thou shalt offer all manner of useful and handy tips to all thy brethren, even those who have never ever picked up a hammer, especially such tips as are obvious with twenty-twenty hindsight vision. For the wise man, or indeed woman, learns from the mistakes of others. Especially when those mistakes are rather humorous.

[Roy Hunter]

9135: Thou shalt not describe two gaping chasms of 18" x 6' each as 'gaps in the floorboards'. I shalt have to put the sofas over them for the moment.

9134: Layest thou not laminate flooring with a hammer, for it is folly and thou shalt have to return to the shop to get more, where old men in overalls shalt laugh at thou and thy broken laminates. Tap it into place with a bit of wood instead.

9133: The person thou bought thy house from is still a dick, though.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

9133 : thou shalt notte layeth thine hands uponst Superman's rainment.

9132 : Thou shalt notte spitteth into thee wind . .

9131: Thou shalt notte layeth thine hands uponst thee elder Lone Ranger 's mask.
*addendum*

9130: Thou shalt notte trouble Slim .

[la la]

9129: And if thou wouldst be a hustler, thou shalt remember the lesson of what befell Jim, and thou shalt be sure to keep 9130 in mind when encountering a stranger.