Complete the Piratey Headline

[The Black Spot]

Arrrr, here be a thread that be needing rezz... reserr... wakin' up.

Giant grogbergs seen limbo dancing in beerglass. Admiral Benbow and Captain Cronan hallucinate after losing millions of braincells from brasso binge. Doctors don't expect them to get them back.


Portsmouth cancels this year's ***** after ***** of ***** go *****.

[DaveL]

Portsmouth cancels this year's Argghstock Festival after Pirate Boy Band 'Take the Lot' from TV Show 'The R Factor' decide to reform and go hip hop.

Santa decides a new present route will be required this Christmas after last years mishap, when his ********* got blown off by a large incendiary ******.

[The Black Spot]

Santa decides a new present route will be required this Christmas after last years mishap, when his sled's new bicycle rack attachment got blown off by a large incendiary inner tube.

Crowds gather in Portsmouth as Madame Fifi's offers *****.

[black bart]

Crowds gather in Portsmouth as Madame Fifi's offers to pop out on her big upper balcony.

**** found on the Dark side of the Moon

[The Black Spot]

There be more pock marks an' craters found on Bart's face than be found on the Dark side of the Moon

Landlord of Admiral Benbow shocked by arrival of huge *****

[black bart]

Landlord of Admiral Benbow shocked by arrival of huge Turnip shaped like a Willy

Honest Bank Chief Executive Kidnapped by pirates and Forced to ****

[The Black Spot]

Honest Bank Chief Executive Kidnapped by pirates and Forced to watch 3 showings of Portsmoutheus

Mayor Borat Jonestown tells citizens concerned about traffic problems during the Olympics to get *****

[Roy Hunter]

Mayor Borat Jonestown tells citizens concerned about traffic problems during the Olympics to get "on their bikes and look for work - maybe as a security guard".

Portsmouth in turmoil as floods wash away ****

[black bart]

Portsmouth in turmoil as floods wash away Caber Tossing Contestants Just as Knuckles O'Shuffle was about to Win

Terror as Shub-Niggurath appears at the****

[The Black Spot]

Terror as Shub-Niggurath appears at the Portsmouth playhouse as Aladdin

Mad seagull attack on local man thought to have been caused by ****

[DaveL]

Mad seagull attack on local man thought to have been caused by a bad potato chip impersonation

Smuggler arrested off the coast of Portsmouth brandishing a large ****** was mistakenly identified as a *********

[Roland Deschain]

Smuggler arrested off the coast of Portsmouth brandishing a large Blow-up Brenda was mistakenly identified as a whale.

Brenda arrested after ***** in Bart's *****, while ***** and *****.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Brenda arrested after sunbathing in Bart's nest, while riots and vomit filled thee streets !.


Madame Fifi Welcomes *****

[Griffin]

Madame Fifi Welcomes All-Year-Round Santa Clauses

Tidal wave washes away ****** causing heaving ******.

[black bart]

Tidal wave washes away Big Brenda's Blouse causing heaving Sailor to Swallow his own tongue.

Easter Island Heads were based on the likeness of ******* say archaeologists.