Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:10 am

Ah...so this is a butterfry:

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby PKMKII on Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:39 am

Image
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré
User avatar
PKMKII
Senior New York Correspondent
 
Posts: 10731
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:13 pm
Location: Where the Sun don't shine

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Roland Deschain on Wed Jul 04, 2012 4:46 am

^ :haha:

I wonder what Scientology will look like in 2000 years, if it's still around.

daftbeaker wrote:[notty words]If real life was like Youtube comments[/notty words] :idiot:

:lol:

PK. That picture. The one with the difference between Sweden and Norway. That really has me confused. Am I gay now, or just bisexual? :haha: (No, i'm not referring to the guy with the beard, Db)

EDIT: 50 Sheds of Grey - This is brilliant.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby black bart on Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:24 am

I love my shed. :love:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:57 am

Roland Deschain wrote:^ :haha:

I wonder what Scientology will look like in 2000 years, if it's still around.

daftbeaker wrote:[notty words]If real life was like Youtube comments[/notty words] :idiot:

:lol:

A few hours ago i picked up a hand written letter , posted from their main office here , in me home town .
They stated that i had attended a class or two and asked if i , " ... , found what ( I ) was searching for " .

I never attended any courses/classes , all i did was accept a free copy of Dianetics , which i felt was written by some wack job . I found it unreadable and felt he ripped off " The Power Of Positive Thinking .
Furthermore , the letter writing dude ststed that this imaginary audit of mine occured " a couple of years ago .

No , i recieved the free book thirty one years ago and never wrote any back except , " return to sender , addresse has moved , no such person live here , etc etc etc .

They keep on sending junk mail relentlessly even after i had moved out of Dad's house , poor ole dad dealt with the constant flow for twenty years , at times junk would arrive up to three times a week . The mail was always the same , order forms for dumb ass books and silly boxes with some wires an diodes , obsurd stuff thought I .

Anyway , i was wondering how to respond to this one . I had not received anything from them in two years .
How should i respond ?
If my memory still serves me well , an advanced scientolgist should be " clear " , that is , free from the trapping of our emotions and all kinds of negative stuff like that and such and such . Also a clear should have excellent if not complete memory of their past .

I am so tempted to use his complete ignorance against him or write back that , yes i had found all i needed for my essay for english class about cults , and i got a great grade that saved me from repeating the course in summer school.
I am very happy that he wrote the letter with cheap ink and paper because my lady friend brought it into the house and promptly spilled coffee on it .
Bless her heart , that will be a nice touch to send that letter back with some wise ass response .

However a new avalanche of junk mail may come my way and it is extremely annoying .
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
User avatar
Mad Willyum Bonney
Admiral of Incomprehensibility
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:34 am
Location: Bedlam

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial on Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:56 am

Send him a few copies of those flyers that mormons leave in your mailbox when you're hiding behind the curtains. Then follow up with weekly requests for donations.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."
User avatar
ET, the Extra Terrestrial
Privvy Counselor
 
Posts: 6884
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 5:01 am
Location: In the woods, watching

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Roy Hunter on Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:04 am

ET, the Extra Terrestrial wrote:Send him a few copies of these flyers.
FTFY.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15547
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby daftbeaker on Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:14 am

Mad Willyum Bonney wrote:They keep on sending junk mail relentlessly even after i had moved out of Dad's house , poor ole dad dealt with the constant flow for twenty years , at times junk would arrive up to three times a week . The mail was always the same , order forms for dumb ass books and silly boxes with some wires an diodes , obsurd stuff thought I .

Did they have the pre-paid envelopes to return the order forms? If so I've heard that (in the UK at least) the company is charged when they're returned, not when paid for and it's possible to stick the postage information to a brick. This is then posted and the company has to pay the postage cost when it arrives back with them.

It may just be an urban legend but it seems plausible :evilgrin:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11254
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:44 am

^ :haha: After dad sailed into the great hereafter i returned to care for mum . I became so annoyed with the junk and their repeated refusal to stop with the harassment . I started to put all their stuff in a big shoe box and sent it back to them without postage and no return address . In total i sent back almost fifty kilos , trash still kept coming , then i started thanking them for all the lovely correspondence and started sending odd bits of hardware and other useless heavy metal bits of broken stuff .
I wrote ," attention Mr. Revolta , here are some bits of hardware for the ship we need to visit Zenu or Alpha Seti V . " I also sent stuff for the attention of Mr. Crews .

*sigh* The f****** G***** D*******pricks are at me again !

Is there no escape other than death ! ?
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
User avatar
Mad Willyum Bonney
Admiral of Incomprehensibility
 
Posts: 3833
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:34 am
Location: Bedlam

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Roy Hunter on Thu Jul 05, 2012 11:45 am

daftbeaker wrote:
Mad Willyum Bonney wrote:They keep on sending junk mail relentlessly even after i had moved out of Dad's house , poor ole dad dealt with the constant flow for twenty years , at times junk would arrive up to three times a week . The mail was always the same , order forms for dumb ass books and silly boxes with some wires an diodes , obsurd stuff thought I .

Did they have the pre-paid envelopes to return the order forms? If so I've heard that (in the UK at least) the company is charged when they're returned, not when paid for and it's possible to stick the postage information to a brick. This is then posted and the company has to pay the postage cost when it arrives back with them.

It may just be an urban legend but it seems plausible :evilgrin:
In theory, yes. In practice, the Post Office won't take a reply-paid brick, and you can't cram it in a pillar box slot. Which begs the question: what is the most evil thing you can cram into a pillar box?
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15547
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby daftbeaker on Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:04 pm

Roy Hunter wrote:
daftbeaker wrote:It may just be an urban legend but it seems plausible :evilgrin:
In theory, yes. In practice, the Post Office won't take a reply-paid brick, and you can't cram it in a pillar box slot. Which begs the question: what is the most evil thing you can cram into a pillar box?

I wonder how much dog poo you could get into one of those padded A4 envelopes? :whistle:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11254
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Milo the dog on Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:32 pm

ARF!

*wagwagwagwagwag*
Arf!
User avatar
Milo the dog
Cannelloni Cannoneer
 
Posts: 135
Joined: Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:04 pm
Location: Under the bed, eating Roy's slippers.

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby DavidH on Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:15 pm

Many years ago my landlady had had the gas disconnected, and they had left the meter in her shed. Plus they still kept sending her gas bills. No amount of letters or phone calls would stop the bills or persuade them to come and fetch their meter. They kept threatening to cut her gas off if she didn't pay up. :facewall: In the end we went into town and dumped all the bills and the meter on the counter at the Gas Board showroom. That actually stopped the buggers.
Image
User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
 
Posts: 4382
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Herefordshire, Western England

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Thu Jul 05, 2012 5:12 pm

I keep getting credit card offers in the mail. I have no money. I have no income. It's entirely possible that I will never have income beyond small gifts of money for my birthday. What am I going to do with a credit card? They send them to me because I have excellent credit, apparently, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't want or need a credit card except for the one my mother gives me for groceries and important purchases for which she's alright with paying herself.

So I've taken to writing, on the application forms, the words "POO POO PEE PEE CUCKA DOO DOO" which probably has to be read and entered into a computer at the expense of the bank, and in addition to that form plus the original letter and the envelope they came in, I stuff in bits of plastic and napkins from around my kitchen.

My uncle claims to do really obnoxious things with business reply envelopes and junk mail. I don't know how much of it is true though. I recently received an unasked-for catalog from Land of Nod children's toy company, which I receive every month since I bought a glow-in-the-dark solar system for my sister the Christmas before last. I wrote "REJECTED, RETURN TO SENDER" but the mailman left it in my mailbox with a note that he can't return it to sender unless I pay postage! Since when is that true? Maybe next time I'll just write "REJECTED" without "RETURN TO SENDER" and see if it goes back. I tried sticking the last one in the credit card offer envelope but it wouldn't fit.
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
-------------------------------
The Almighty Website of Stuff
-------------------------------
Download The Loose Canon, a deliciously holy book compiled by members of Our Noodly Lord's congregation!
-------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Almighty Doer of Stuff
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1920
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 8:13 am
Location: Massachusetts

Re: Funny stuff found on the intrawebs ver. 2.0

Postby PKMKII on Thu Jul 05, 2012 6:53 pm

Image
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré
User avatar
PKMKII
Senior New York Correspondent
 
Posts: 10731
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:13 pm
Location: Where the Sun don't shine

PreviousNext

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

cron