10,000 (more) Commandments

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Whenst thou shoppeth wythe thine newe ex - girlfriend ,
keepeth within thine memory , to shuteth thine mouth ande not offer up suggestions that mayest be construed as argumentative to her warped sense of logic .
Thou shalt not assert thine self in a fashion that appeareth "bossy".

[Roy Hunter]

9224: thou shalt remember to number thy commandments, else thou shalt never make the countdown to 1, and then where will we be?

Commiserations on the girlfriend / shopping debacle, Mad Will...

9223: Thou shalt not stay up until 3am cuddling a bottle of wine, when thy doggie intends to wake thou up at 7am to play tug with a manky old piece of rope.

9222: thou shalt keep the coffee pot warm all day, as thou art going to need it.

[black bart]

9221: Thou shalt not be a Spurs fan and still be in goodly humour after last night...
...or a Bayern Munich fan.

[daftbeaker]

9220: Thou shalt not put food in the oven and then wander out of the door, hoping the house doesn't burn down before you get back.

9219: If'n thou findeth that thine brother has broken the above commandment, thou shalt point out to him his mistake and inform him of his extreme stupidity when he returns.

[black bart]

9218: ^Similarily Thou shalt not stagger in drunk and put a meal for one curry in the oven and then fall asleep for three hours!

[Roland Deschain]

9217: Thou shalt not accept Jager Bombs at a friend's BBQ after finding out that thy two bottles of wine thou brought with thee to share are not going to be touched by any other person but thyself.

9216: Thou shalt apologise the day after.

[black bart]

9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.

[daftbeaker]

9214: Even though thou art incredibly uncomfortable, sticky and sweaty thou shall greet people with 'Nice day today'. Thou shalt not know why thou art doing it.

9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.

You mean you don't wear shorts all year?

[black bart]

9214: Even though thou art incredibly uncomfortable, sticky and sweaty thou shall greet people with 'Nice day today'. Thou shalt not know why thou art doing it.

9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.

You mean you don't wear shorts all year?

It's just not fair on my wife and kids.

[DavidH]

9213: Verily I say unto you: If ye have knobbly and hairy legs, ye shall not wear shorts, for it frighteneth the beasts of the field. But young maidens with legs like those of a gazelle, they shall wear shorts which are very small, and tight withal.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

9212 : When thine newe ex-girlfriend speaketh unto ye , alloweth thee bit... er ... lady to finisheth her lecture .
9211 : Nod thine head in agreement to her words , though thy knowest she speaketh pooh pooh .
For woe unto ye if ye cleave not 9212 unto thine memory .
9210 : If thou forgeteth 9212 , try flowers , confections , and many bottles of her favoured wine , it worketh for me .

[pieces o'nine]

9209 : Thou shalt cutteth thine losses and not wasteth thy time, niether in dancing attendance upon, nor even in procuring costly bribes for, thy ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, and the like. Selah.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Ahhhhh .....okay .

[Roland Deschain]

9208: Thou shalt proof read thy commandments, ensuring verily that thy spelling is neither incorrect nor weird.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

9207: In regards to affairs of thine heart thou shalt give thine ear to PoN , for she is wise .
( would you travel up here to save me from myself ? )