10,000 (more) Commandments

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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Sun May 20, 2012 12:55 am

Whenst thou shoppeth wythe thine newe ex - girlfriend ,
keepeth within thine memory , to shuteth thine mouth ande not offer up suggestions that mayest be construed as argumentative to her warped sense of logic .
Thou shalt not assert thine self in a fashion that appeareth "bossy".
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Sun May 20, 2012 7:17 am

9224: thou shalt remember to number thy commandments, else thou shalt never make the countdown to 1, and then where will we be?

Commiserations on the girlfriend / shopping debacle, Mad Will...

9223: Thou shalt not stay up until 3am cuddling a bottle of wine, when thy doggie intends to wake thou up at 7am to play tug with a manky old piece of rope.

9222: thou shalt keep the coffee pot warm all day, as thou art going to need it.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Sun May 20, 2012 10:51 am

9221: Thou shalt not be a Spurs fan and still be in goodly humour after last night...
...or a Bayern Munich fan.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Sun May 20, 2012 11:05 am

9220: Thou shalt not put food in the oven and then wander out of the door, hoping the house doesn't burn down before you get back.

9219: If'n thou findeth that thine brother has broken the above commandment, thou shalt point out to him his mistake and inform him of his extreme stupidity when he returns.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Sun May 20, 2012 11:14 am

9218: ^Similarily Thou shalt not stagger in drunk and put a meal for one curry in the oven and then fall asleep for three hours!
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Tue May 22, 2012 3:40 pm

9217: Thou shalt not accept Jager Bombs at a friend's BBQ after finding out that thy two bottles of wine thou brought with thee to share are not going to be touched by any other person but thyself.

9216: Thou shalt apologise the day after.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Thu May 24, 2012 9:11 am

9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Thu May 24, 2012 10:26 am

9214: Even though thou art incredibly uncomfortable, sticky and sweaty thou shall greet people with 'Nice day today'. Thou shalt not know why thou art doing it.

black bart wrote:9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.

You mean you don't wear shorts all year? :confused:
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Fri May 25, 2012 8:14 am

daftbeaker wrote:9214: Even though thou art incredibly uncomfortable, sticky and sweaty thou shall greet people with 'Nice day today'. Thou shalt not know why thou art doing it.

black bart wrote:9215: If there is the slightest hint of British Summer arriving thou shalt wear shorts, yey though thou havest knobbly knees.

You mean you don't wear shorts all year? :confused:


It's just not fair on my wife and kids. :cry:
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby DavidH on Sat May 26, 2012 4:45 am

9213: Verily I say unto you: If ye have knobbly and hairy legs, ye shall not wear shorts, for it frighteneth the beasts of the field. But young maidens with legs like those of a gazelle, they shall wear shorts which are very small, and tight withal.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Sat May 26, 2012 5:32 am

9212 : When thine newe ex-girlfriend speaketh unto ye , alloweth thee bit... er ... lady to finisheth her lecture .
9211 : Nod thine head in agreement to her words , though thy knowest she speaketh pooh pooh .
For woe unto ye if ye cleave not 9212 unto thine memory .
9210 : If thou forgeteth 9212 , try flowers , confections , and many bottles of her favoured wine , it worketh for me .
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby pieces o'nine on Sat May 26, 2012 7:08 pm

9209 : Thou shalt cutteth thine losses and not wasteth thy time, niether in dancing attendance upon, nor even in procuring costly bribes for, thy ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, and the like. Selah.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Sat May 26, 2012 8:35 pm

Ahhhhh .....okay .
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roland Deschain on Sun May 27, 2012 2:07 pm

9208: Thou shalt proof read thy commandments, ensuring verily that thy spelling is neither incorrect nor weird.
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Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Sun May 27, 2012 2:30 pm

9207: In regards to affairs of thine heart thou shalt give thine ear to PoN , for she is wise .
( would you travel up here to save me from myself ? )
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