Sports

[PKMKII]

WARNING! The very old, the very young, those with heart conditions, and those prone to fainting may want to look away: The Marlins' Home Run Display LIVES!!!

[black bart]

Next weekend, Rangers play Motherwell away (which they might not win - Motherwell are on form), and Celtic play St. Johnstone (who have not been on form since 1983 - Celtic are a dead cert to win). That will be the title decider. Fortunately, St. Johnstone play in Perth, which is well out of the way of any Rangers fans. Hopefully the domestic violence* and public disorder will not be so bad under those circumstances.

*Venganzites of a certain vintage may remember me writing about my former brother-in-law, a rabid Celtic fan, who beat and abused his children, my neice and nephews, when his team lost or did badly. I stuck him in to Social Services, as is my professional duty and my personal pleasure. Last week, when Celtic lost the League Cup (not the league itself), he beat up his own father who was asleep on the couch after the match. He has been a guest of the police for quite a while this week.

I remember you mentioning various fuckwits and that your nieces/nephews were better off staying with you. I don't remember you telling us about the abuse bit though, maybe I just blanked it out for my peace of mind. :fsm_barf: You did the right thing though as thousands of kids in abusive homes who didn'tget pulled into social care will attestWell, the two older kids are now 17, driving about in their own cars, both going to college and doing very well. The younger one is 14 and looks set to rule the world. Whether that is from a jail cell, the top floor of Canary Wharf, or from a hollowed-out volcano in the Carribbean, I don't know. Step-dad has now been bailed, but he is homeless (his dad chucked him out) and he has lost access to his own son due to the 'history of familial and domestic violence'. He needs help. Unfortunately, the only help he'll get from me is me helping to break his nose by banging his head repeatedly off a paving stone.

Glasgow football, chib, feck, proddy, tim, conspiracy papist fecking bawbags. Was that ok?

You forgot to blame the referee. Fortunately, Neil Lennon didn't forget. Thanks for living up to the stereotype, Neil...

I saw the goals on TV. It was heartening to see the Celtic fans being so supportive of poor Rangers in their financial plight...NOT!

[PKMKII]

US Men's Soccer Team Fails to Qualify for the Olympics

Got knocked out due to a loss to Canada and a tie with Nicaragua after they scored a goal in stoppage time.

[black bart]

US Men's Soccer Team Fails to Qualify for the Olympics

Got knocked out due to a loss to Canada and a tie with Nicaragua after they scored a goal in stoppage time.

Bad luck, you've missed your chance to beat the all British football team...I'm still waiting for my call up.

[DavidH]

Probably the record for red cards shown after a soccer match in the dressing room.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/9170741/Five-players-sent-off-following-mass-brawl-at-end-of-League-Two-clash-between-Crawley-Town-and-Bradford.html

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

I had a dream last night that all soccer captains were morbidly obese men in silly costumes, such as Darth Vader and Superman. One of them kicked a ball straight at me, and then started yelling at me. I wasn't even at the stadium for the game. I don't know what I was doing there, but I was on a walkway near the top, not in the bleachers. I think the walkway was just a sidewalk from one part of town to another that just happened to cross through a soccer stadium. The captain climbed up onto the walkway to yell at me.

[PKMKII]

Liverpool FC and Roma to play an exhibition game at Boston's historic Fenway Park

Quite frankly, I'm surprised they can fit a soccer pitch in Fenway.

[ChowMein]

Well , my hockey team has missed the playoffs for the seventh year in row .
How I miss the Pats ( Quinn and Burns ) , we haven't had a contender for almost twenty years . I acm giving up on the Leads for good , hockey in this town is now a awful waste of time for me .

I remember the last time they brought the cup home , I do not believe they will win again with what time I have left on this planet .
Canada will likely win the Wotrld Cup in footy before the Leafs win Lord Stanley's cup.sorry the third sentence was supposed to be , " I am giving up on the Leafs, F*****g
P
*sigh* Fuck it ! Damn it this ducki oh I give up , I can't spend another hour tryino fix this post ,
Sorry for the language, but I can't take m

O
uchm more of this mobile nonsense and outright insubordination !

Fuck you incompetent programmers at HTC.ng abit is really Pissing me off

Damn this abit , I fancy

Oh for the love of ... T
See what happens when I try to combat this mobile's program ?
If you don't hear from me in a while , it shall be because I have decided that spending 2 to three hours trying to post something of this small size will drive me to drinking again .

[Roy Hunter]

Kilmarnock 0:6 Celtic

Celtic are the Scottish Premier League champions.

Kilmarnock had to win at home to keep Celtic from winning the championship today, but that did not quite happen. In fact, Kilmarnock sold out their ground at Rugby Park, giving three of the four stands over to the travelling support. This will help make up the financial shortfall left by Rangers going tits-up, owing half the teams in the league ticket money.

Rangers have at least £134M of unstructured debt (ie it is due to be paid/repaid right now), and may end up being liquidated and starting up as a new team. In the Third Division.

Muahahaha...

[DavidH]

The annual Oxford - Cambridge boat race was a total disaster today. Oxford, the strong favourites, were barely ahead when some clown swam in front of the boats and stopped the race. The umpire took about half an hour to organise a restart. Next the two boats came so close together that they clashed and an Oxford oar was broken. The umpire refused to stop the race and so with only seven oars, Oxford lost by a huge margin. Then after the finish one of the Oxford crew collapsed and was taken to hospital.

Cambridge were held to have officially won but there were no celebrations and no presentation.

The umpire claims Oxford were off-station and were warned twice before the clash (true) but note that he is a Cambridge man who rowed in three losing Cambridge crews,

[Roy Hunter]

It's all buses under the bridge, to coin a phrase.

[PKMKII]

So after their opening series, the Mets swept the Braves, and the Yankees got swept by the Rays. I know this good luck probably won't last, but it's fun to enjoy for now.

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

And the Sox are 0-3. Same sh*t, different century. Win a couple of championships early, then do the toilet bowl twist for 86 years.

[black bart]

It's all buses under the bridge, to coin a phrase.

How did the Scottish football team ever manage to reach the World Cup in South America?

[PKMKII]

The Cubs, in a nutshell: