The Captain's Log

Arrr, I be a pirate!

Moderator: All Things Mods

Do ye keep a Log?

Every day
23
38%
Every Week
37
62%
 
Total votes : 60

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby pieces o'nine on Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:57 pm

Capn's Log

Yarrrgh, thee Springe Breake Madnesse 'as struck me crewe again. They 'as commenc'd t' competin' fer thee Moste Hunyooshawl Coiffure, an oi duzzint no 'ow much longer oi can stand hit.

Image
Hendrick van der Shizzel, Quarternaster

Image
Sheepshank Gertie, Boatswain

Image
Ulcerous O'Malley, in charrrghe ov pumpin thee bilges
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
User avatar
pieces o'nine
Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
 
Posts: 8615
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
Location: Ocean o'Sand

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:16 am

Capn's Log etc etc...

Those be highlee commendable matey but I had this German geezer tryin ta join me croo lookin loik this:

Image

I draws thee line at that, even if it is comin up to Easter!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby daftbeaker on Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:59 am

Did he try and sell you some of his bad paintings? :haha:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11300
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:50 am

daftbeaker wrote:Did he try and sell you some of his bad paintings? :haha:


Arrgh ye see that dog in thee piktur...he tried to flog me this drawin of him:

Image

I told him he was barking mad.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby Roland Deschain on Wed Mar 14, 2012 7:56 pm

Cap'n's Log

Sea Date: 2nd April 1756

Yesterday we were in thee mysterious port o' BIndustries. None o' me crew 'ave ever 'eard of it before, but it were a blessin' from the FSM in disguise. Oi purchased some foine paintin's for me cabin there, but the paint 'as peeled off, an' now oi am left wi' a bad pencil drawin' o' a dog, a bad an' depressin' paintin' o' a brown field wi' 'oles in thee ground an' barbed woire everywhere, an' a lithograph o' a weird man in bunny ears. We turned around himmediately, but thee port appears to 'ave moved! This be a weird occurrence on the 'oigh seas!
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: The Captain's Loge

Postby pieces o'nine on Wed Mar 14, 2012 11:10 pm

Capn's Log

Oi watched Neverwhere again an reeloized that thee Floatin' Marrrghket wernt jest a litterairy devyce -- hit ackshooly hexists! Oi 'as 'eard rumblins from ovver shippes that they's been taykin t'thee cleaners (metalfourickly speekin) by thee Floatin' Marrrghket set hup by Bart Industries!

Oi 'as Errol scrootinoizin thee charrrghts ter plot thee preveeyus sitin's an projeckt thee moste loikely future locaysahuns. Oi plans t'blockade it wiv thee Mad Moggies Revenge, then make a boat tie-up parrrghty wiv thee dingees, t'flogge arrrgh best styrene shrunken 'eads an moai plunder -- an a few barrels o'Capns Deloight t'keepe thee festivitees conviveal.

MUA HA HA HA ARRRGH! :fsm_yarr:

Image
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
User avatar
pieces o'nine
Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
 
Posts: 8615
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
Location: Ocean o'Sand

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:21 am

Capn's Log yarr date 15th March 1776

More hindustrial hespionhage suspected...somebody be takin Crows Nest pikturs of me totally legitaarghmate Floatin Market:

Image

Luckilee they aint spotted the HQ yet:

Image
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby Griffin on Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:53 am

Cap'ns Log Date Yeer Zero+5%

Oi sold me laytest H'industryal Spie program fer the iPiddle ter a straynj Cap'n oo' wer 'anging aownd port. 'e kneeded summat ter h'assertayn wot BB h'Industrees be up ter so Oi charged 'im h'extra fer it. Oi moight get meself an iPiddle 'cos Oi be wurrid abowt bein' stukk up a creek wivowt wun.
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.
User avatar
Griffin
WatsonOfSherlock
 
Posts: 2155
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:51 pm
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby pieces o'nine on Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:22 am

Captain's Log -- Yarrrgh Date 26 April '12

Errol Flynn, arrrgh faverit cabbin bouy, 'as hembarked hupon a noo venyoo as thee VIce Admiral ov Reserrrgh an Developmint fer Mad Moggies, Inc. 'E's done so well floggin the moai knock-orfs an polly styrene shrunken 'eads that oi be trustin 'im ter take thee knowne werlde by storrrghm wiv thee "knork".

Thee moste himportant fing be t'keep thee prototypes away from hindustrial spies from Bart Enterprises huntil we gets arrrgh letters ov patent.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
User avatar
pieces o'nine
Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
 
Posts: 8615
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
Location: Ocean o'Sand

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Fri Apr 27, 2012 5:50 am

Capn's Log Half way through series 6 o thee Happrenitce

Dear Alan (Sugar) I has been castin me hexpert eye over yer latest croo o losers an I has ta tell ye I has ne'r seen such a pathetic bunch o Giant Pizza wearin tossers!

Here at Bart Hindustries (a bit loik Hamstrad but wiv proper designs) we be proud of our record an our Portholio (see I jus hinvented a new word...I be a natural) of produkts.

I i was ye I'd sack that old git Nasty Nick an give me a seat on yer board. I'd soon sort out thee Weevils from thee Biscuits. I be lookin for a salary of about 4000 Cronan a day.

Your umble Cap'n

Black Bart (Sort o Piratey Rupert Murdoch...or should I say sort o Rupert Murdochy Pirate).
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby pieces o'nine on Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:36 pm

Captain's Log, addendum:

Bart Hindustries be tryin' t'steal arrrgh marrrghketin thunderrrgh followin thee launch ov arrrgh ground-breakin noo product, the Knork. Little does they suspeck arrrgh nefairyus sekrit weapon: The Moai Arrrghmy!
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
User avatar
pieces o'nine
Look Upon Her Works, Ye Migyt, and Despair!
 
Posts: 8615
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 9:21 am
Location: Ocean o'Sand

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Tue May 08, 2012 5:58 am

^ :shocked:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby Roland Deschain on Tue May 08, 2012 8:47 pm

Cap'n's Log
Seadate: I don't know, lol

We were sailin' thee high seas, when we come across a mysterious oisland that weren't on thee map. We anchored near it, an' rowed ashore, lookin' fer food, but then we was attacked by a moighty army o' stone 'eads wot 'ad come from nowhere. Me crew turned an' fled, but I fought on, killin' many o' them. But they were too many fer me, an' after thinnin' the army o' 100 o' them, I decided ter run fer thee boat. We rowed back ter thee ship, but thee 'eads marched on inter the sea, comin' fer us. We only just managed ter sail away in toime, an' a steep sea shelf facilitated our escape by stoppin' them in their tracks. Or so we'd 'oped.

After a month o' frantic sailin', we entered shallower water again, an' lo an' be'old, thee 'eads appeared once again, but we were ready this toime, an' bein' spurred on by me 'eroic deeds, me crew killed them all. We then sailed back ter thee oisland, which were free fer us ter plunder, an' we found a ware'ouse full o' boxes. Upon openin' thee boxes, which were labelled "Knork", we found many great wonders, an' me crew ain't never gonna be lonely at sea again.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
User avatar
Roland Deschain
Sorcerer of Sauce
 
Posts: 3586
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:13 pm
Location: BASE jumping off the Dark Tower.

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby DaveL on Thu May 10, 2012 2:15 am

YArr Date 10 May 1712

Next time Oi embark on a long sea voyage. I might need to go to the loo before we set sail. O'ive bin holdin' on for more than 6 months now.

Can someone please find me a bigger cork?

Signed,

Captain Dam Buster
Manatee Singles

www.hotdugong.com
User avatar
DaveL
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4904
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2005 8:57 pm
Location: Van Diemens Land

Re: The Captain's Log

Postby black bart on Tue May 15, 2012 6:01 am

Capn's Log yarr date 15th May 1777

A bright spark amonkst me croo has gone as hinvented POST IT PARCHMENTS:

Image

I aint sure wot he be usin fer gloo tho but thee bloody things be stuck all over thee shyppe wiv such notes as:

Please remember to muffle yer peg leg at night.

Two pints o rum please (we gets deliverees every Wednesday)

Don't ferget to put thee pet shark out.

Don't forget thee croutons (Above Fish Head Stoo Vat).
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

PreviousNext

Return to Pirate Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron