Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby pieces o'nine on Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:28 pm

Dear Auntie Blackbeard:

Madam, forsooth thee local pyrate-er-tv company be airing a commercial shewing forth pirate regalia in a bad light. One heartily resents thee assumption that donning an eyepatch be thee result o'foolishness in flossie landlubber sports, rather than a badge of honor from hand-to-hand combat with murdering Spaniards in Port Royal. One also objects t'thee implication that an novice wearer of eyepatches should expect to get his booty kicked by unemployed landlubber yabos, and not even in an alley after dark in the mean streets of Portsmouth!

What would you suggest as the most efficacious method to help these executives see the light?

sinserely,
Errol Flynn, cabbin bouy,
thee Mad Moggie's Revenge
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:55 pm

Dear Auntee

Oi can't h'understand a word that Errol Flynch says. If he wants ter see the light, tell 'im ter 'old it up higher.

Yours

Capn' Old-Treadworthy
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Thu Feb 23, 2012 8:58 am

Arrr...be Errol in poseshun of a big shiny one wot glows in thee dark?
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby pieces o'nine on Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:30 pm

^ ...oi never sees thee loight an tells... :guilty:

:lech:
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Fri Feb 24, 2012 3:03 am

Deer anti ,
Whare Arr ye ?
And wot wuz thee passwerd to thee nest?
Oi fergetted .
Agun .
Yarr.
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Roland Deschain on Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:13 am

Dear anti,

We be missin' ye, an' me crew wot oi picked up in Southampton 'as taken ter mutiny if ye don't return an' answer their problem, wot is "'Ow do we cook fish 'ead stoo without thee bilge water?"

Lookin' forward ter no mutiny,

Cap'n Deschain
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Fri Feb 24, 2012 10:08 am

Mad Willyum Bonney wrote:Deer anti ,
Whare Arr ye ?
And wot wuz thee passwerd to thee nest?
Oi fergetted .
Agun .
Yarr.


I think I've forgetted as well! We'll have to consult Dave L.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:16 am

Ye daft bugger Bart...only the hoi polloi get access to my inner sanctum...an why are you wearin a Bilge Rat on yer head?
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:53 am

Aaargh! Auntie

That be no bilge rat - it be a weavilii gargantuum on BB's h'ed.

Oi werent goin ter comment on it, but seein as ye 'ave...

Mind yu, it be the rest o' the h'ed witch really puzzles me!

Yoyrs
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:47 am

Dear Auntie

I purchased this hat in good faith orf a chap named Buck...er Buckshot McHiggins of Thee North West Trappers Companee, Vancoover. It does make me head a bit itchee an thee tail tends ta flick infront of yer eyes in a Gale renederin ye temprarilee blind...but it keeps me ears warm much better than any bandana.

I can ave a word wiv McHiggins if ye fancies some furry underwear.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:28 pm

Oh deer me , oi wake frum a luverly nap an' wot duz oi fine ?
Corked bottles all asunder wiffin me nest!
An' scarcely a drop of rum in any of em !
Just paper and rags scribbled wiff all sorts of yakkitty gobblygook .
I'll get to them soon me drearys .
Time for a wee nap , oi be a wee tard affer chasing down Neffew an' tying 'im up.
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:18 pm

Me Deer Andi Bakbord ,

umm ...uh...thet itch ...err... et be bak ... wot offarr poshuns ye haz?

Yers trooly , Blak Barrt ove thee Big Brenda
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Ravi Oli on Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:12 am

Mad Willyum Bonney wrote:umm ...uh...thet itch ...err... et be bak ... wot offarr poshuns ye haz?

Yers trooly , Blak Barrt ove thee Big Brenda

Ye art indeed mad Willyum if ye use poshuns brewed speschully fer bart! All o'us knows 'e be a 'opless case an' Auntie troies stuff on 'im thart wuld othawoise kill a brown dog! Jest sayin'....
Send lawyers, guns and money...
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:13 am

Dear Auntie

I thinks I must ave drunk some salty water...I appears ta be avin a split personalitee wot keeps writin in wivout me knowin about it.

What are all these poshuns ye keeps sendin me for me alhedged skin condishuns?

As far as I know I aint had thee plague since last summer an I looks pretty good if ye compares me to thee rest o me croo.

PS. Please don't send me any more Leeches as they are escapin an gettin in thee Stooo!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Fri Apr 20, 2012 1:37 am

Dear Auntie Little Black Dress

Oi bin 'avin 'orribul noitmairs that Oi be wun o' BB's multipul personalytees.

'ELP!

Yrs Trly
Cap'n Bletherin-Treadmill Lord
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