Dear Auntie Blackbeard:
Madam, forsooth thee local pyrate-er-tv company be airing a commercial shewing forth pirate regalia in a bad light.
One heartily resents thee assumption that donning an eyepatch be thee result o'foolishness in flossie landlubber sports, rather than a badge of honor from hand-to-hand combat with murdering Spaniards in Port Royal. One also objects t'thee implication that an novice wearer of eyepatches should expect to get his booty kicked by unemployed landlubber yabos, and not even in an alley after dark in the mean streets of Portsmouth!
What would you suggest as the most efficacious method to help these executives see the light?
Errol Flynn, cabbin bouy,
thee Mad Moggie's Revenge