Epic RolePlaying Battle Game

[daftbeaker]

* tasers the alleged "black bart" for letting the beast off its leash *

Your park rangers are a paramilitary force allowed to arrest people and attack them? You Merkins are crazy Around here they're just a bunch of nice middle aged men in green shorts and ex-army Land Rovers that are responsible for upkeep of the heathland.

*shakes head in disbelief*

[black bart]

Tasered?...now look wot you've gone and done:



It's ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

[bacon]

* compliments bart on his new look *
* whistles for her new demon puppy to come along *

[Roy Hunter]

Your park rangers are a paramilitary force allowed to arrest people and attack them?

When I lived in Colorado, the EPA people had cars like police cars, flashing lights on the roof, shotgun racks in the back. I approved of this. My pal Susie works for SEPA (the Scottish EPA), and she gets a diesel van and a notebook. She wants a gun and a pursuit car. OK, a taser and some handcuffs. A truncheon, then?


*Tasers daftbeaker in the nads and steals his built-up shoe.*

[daftbeaker]

*Wonders what kind of situation a glorified litter picker is going to need a shotgun in*

*Tasers daftbeaker in the nads and steals his built-up shoe.*

If I just give you the shoe do I avoid the bollock roasting? I don't need the damn things at the moment, my leg is almost the right size. The downside to this is that I am now tempted to buy several pairs of nice boots I can't afford

[Roy Hunter]

*Runs in a straight line, thereby avoiding the attentions of the asymetrically limbed daftbeaker*

*Tasers daftbeaker in the nads again. Just because I can*

*Runs in a straight line, and hopes to avoid references to miniature penguins with the voice of Joe Pasquale telling me things about quantum mechanics, like the last time.*

[daftbeaker]

I think you've had a bit too much time off work and have gone more peculiar

*Sends Roy's CV to Conservative Party HQ*

[pieces o'nine]

* switches out daft penguin's banana stash for plantains *

[bacon]

* snatches the aforementioned snatched bananas and proceeds to make daiquiris *
* pours the pitcher of frozen daiquiris over pon's head *

[pieces o'nine]

* bans bacon for juxtaposing those two words in the same sentence *

* is shocked -- SHOCKED -- at the general lack of decorum in young ladies these days *

[black bart]

Suggests discretely that these young ladies go across the river and join 'The Winchester Geese'.

[Roland Deschain]

*gets the phone number of these "geese" *

*ties ^ to a lamppost, and liberally applies tar and feathers*

[bacon]

* adds some jelly beans to the tar and feathers on Bart *

[Roland Deschain]

*hi-5s Bacon, then gets out the George Forman grill, aiming towards Bacon...*

[bacon]

* Places her hands on her trusty Nu Wave Oven *
* Laughs maniacally! *
* Reminds Roland that his grill can't hurt her, she's already crispy *