PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

[DaveL]

YArrr...

DaveH,

Griffin...arrrgghh, she indeed be a feisty wench matey, and a fine one at that. She be the 'Iron Anne Bonney Class' of pirate.

Ed

Great minds think alike matey. Ye remembers me trial don't ye?

Aaaaaargh! Ye be nothin' but a trial. H'and all this talk o' gender, it not be nice h'at all, tis a delicate subject h'especially wen sum like ter ware pink frilly shirts h'as Oi seems ter remember.

Pink frilly dresses Griff, pink frilly dresses. Not that Oi do that sort of thing or anythink.

[DavidH]

I do hereby slolumlee swear that I never wore no pink dress, frilly or ovverwoise. That were Mincing Malachi wot done that. I seen him at they flower arranging classes in the back bar o' thee Donkey's Pizzle.

[pieces o'nine]

Yer Hunkle Blackbeard's eyeshadowe be clashin wif 'is lipsticke sumfink feerce, an *knot* feerce in a goode way! Ye moight check out sum ov thee Playbilge hadvertizin from Bart Industries Division de Maquillage t'get 'im moor armoneeyus colors fer thee winter season, loike.

[black bart]

Mind ye...if ye ask me, clashin maquillage be far more frightnin comin at ye in a boardin partee than any amount o burnin tapers could hever be!

Maybe I should put that forward at the 'Portmouth Pirate Public School Hannual Meetin'...to be honest thee 'Puttin burnin tapers in your hair' class is notchin up far too much collateral damage.

[Roland Deschain]

Mind ye...if ye ask me, clashin maquillage be far more frightnin comin at ye in a boardin partee than any amount o burnin tapers could hever be!

Maybe I should put that forward at the 'Portmouth Pirate Public School Hannual Meetin'...to be honest thee 'Puttin burnin tapers in your hair' class is notchin up far too much collateral damage.

Aaarrggggghhhh, they both be true. Not only be it very froightenin' ter be confronted by thee blagards dressed up as such, but thee smell of thy own burnin' hair stays in thee nostrils fer weeks! It be toime ter confront these problems in thee only way we know; poirate foight!

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

Is it December yet? Time to start rustling up a new wench!

[DavidH]

Would ye conskider this ere beooty?

[Ravi Oli]

Arrrrrghhhh Dave... nowt a dowt tis a dorter ov Marty Feldman!!

[pieces o'nine]

That pitcher maykes me check that me oan oipatches be hin plaice!
Thats wot appens wen ye duzzint ware 'em regyooler, loike! There be nuffink sadder than saggin oiballs wen yer gettin on in yeares...

[Roy Hunter]

Looks to me like implants gone wrong. She might have got all the boys in her twenties with them, but in her fifties? She'll put her eye out running for a bus or something...

[DaveL]

Yarrrr...

She be a right 'Looker' DaveH...but erm...no ;-)

[black bart]

Yaarrgh, I feels a long winded tale a comin over me loik a fever...the island of thee bug eyed women. Featurin the descendants o Marty Feldman...thee eyes could look into yer very soul etc etc. Shiver...

[Griffin]

Pink frilly dresses Griff, pink frilly dresses. Not that Oi do that sort of thing or anythink.

Aaaargh! They be so short could be a dress or a shirt. Oi knows the site of ye peg leg drove many a good pirate quite mad.

Looks to me like implants gone wrong. She might have got all the boys in her twenties with them, but in her fifties? She'll put her eye out running for a bus or something...

Ageism!! Oi be shocked. Be warned Oi'' be suing PB mag. if there be any o that. In fact, Oi has ter complayne abowt the current trends in PB - it be gone so downhill, with it'ss sleezy editorial it be abowt ter fall inter the sea. H'as it is, Oi has ter keep me own copy in a brown paper bag to protect me cabin boy. How abowt a special edition fer the young ones,?

[black bart]

Aye aye Cap'n Griff...will this do:

[DaveL]

MISS DECEMBER

Name: Helga Bjornsdottir

Occupation: Viking Blacksmith

Likes: Working with hot metal, forging sharp things that kill+maim people, Raiding parties

Dislikes: Wearing Armour, Getting her hair cut, Sudden gusts of wind

Where will you be in 5 years time: Well if the village chieftain decides to raid the English coastline, me sword smithing business will take off. With the extra cash, I might be able to afford a bigger shield.