The Captain's Log

[ChowMein]

Capins log , yarrdate 11.04.12

Have recently docked Thee Goodness Sake in harrbour , am destressed to see Nef Yoo still alive , many mateys are missing , will endeavour to entice said deserters back with me flowery prose or maybe some apple pie .

[DavidH]

^ Are ye plannin' to do anythink about Neff Yoo?

[pieces o'nine]

Cap'ns Log, first weekende in Novembrrrrrgh

Oi seed arrrgh long-lost Capn ChowMein in Ye Scurvy Dogge t'daye, an 'e were runnin' is mouf over a smallish saucer ov creeme abowt takin out NefYoo. A jyint HUZZAH! went up frum thee patrons, an sev'ral rounds of creeme were press't hupon 'im t'hencuridge 'im, loike, arfter 'e were 'oisted hupon arrrgh sholders an carryed wunst aroun thee pubbe in joye. Thee citizens ov Portsmouth walked wif a lighter step on theyre waye 'ome t'noight.

Oi 'as no dowts 'e be hup fer thee task, but oi also suspecks we'll be seein' Tiddles in these hyeah parrrghts afore this bizness be done. 'Tis an ill winde that blowes no goode, but Tiddles ever traveled wiv thee lowe tydes an ill windes, an NefYoo be feared fer raisin ill windes ov 'is oan, loike.

A gloryus battle be loomin'!

[black bart]

Capins Lug yarrday, um, fridy I fink?

Deer dyrie,

I yam owt of thee bilj agen. Unco Farty be drunk till mundy at lease, so hi fink hi safe fer now.

Fank ye, ye welkum.

Capn's Log Yarr date sumfin or other...

I aint been conshus since some blaggard spiked me Brasso chaser wiv Creme de Menthe (or somethink Green an nastee).

I has me suspects seein as thee croo as been mutinous since last xmas when I forgot ta fill their stockins wiv thee usual dried Fish Heads studded wiv cloves.

When I finally awoke there was no one on board shyppe except thee trustee Bosun who was avin difficulte leavin on account o thee Cutlass wot had skewered his vitals to thee deck.

Rum all gone.

If they croo don't return fore thee evenin's shanties there will be blood!!!! An I will ave ta sing thee shanties on me own.

[DaveL]

Date: late November
Yarrrr: 1711
Location: Santa's Bunker, Lappland
Deciphered Code: To Arghhh 9000 and accompanying anti-aircraft flotilla
From: Cedric the Elf (DaveL's corrupt little helper)

MESSAGE AS FOLLOWS...

...Target repaired burn marks to trousers...STOP...
...looks plumper than ever...STOP...
...fed him up so much over autumn...STOP...
...he looks like a stuffed turkey already...STOP...
...if you lads stay off the Xmas turps...STOP...
...shooting him down will be a breeze...STOP...
...flying over Portsmouth Harbour again as scheduled...STOP...
...when you see big red thing in sky...STOP...
...shoot straight ya blaggards...STOP...

[black bart]

Date: late November
Yarrrr: 1711
Location: Santa's Bunker, Lappland
Deciphered Code: To Arghhh 9000 and accompanying anti-aircraft flotilla
From: Cedric the Elf (DaveL's corrupt little helper)

MESSAGE AS FOLLOWS...

...Target repaired burn marks to trousers...STOP...
...looks plumper than ever...STOP...
...fed him up so much over autumn...STOP...
...he looks like a stuffed turkey already...STOP...
...if you lads stay off the Xmas turps...STOP...
...shooting him down will be a breeze...STOP...
...flying over Portsmouth Harbour again as scheduled...STOP...
...when you see big red thing in sky...STOP...
...shoot straight ya blaggards...STOP...

Aye aye cap'n

ready thee fleet fer akshun

....just one thing, how does we get thee cannons pointin up in thee air?

[DavidH]

We turns thee shyppe on its side. We fraps a snaffle block to the maintopm'st grimpers and hauls up thee anchor cable by it. If we gets Brenda to sit on thee anchor, thee shyppe will bend down instead.

[DaveL]

Date: Early December, not sure until the grog wears off...
Year: Can ye remind me...?
Location: Drunken Mermaid Hotel, bottom of me tankard

Message: hic hic...who's buying the next round?

Something something about Santa flying over Portsmouth...zzzzzzzzzzz....

[black bart]

Capn's Log Yarr Date comin up ta me birfday again!

Note to self: Be nice ta croo this week.

Get in hextra supplies o rum.

Put hextra Fish Heads in thee stoo.

Reddooose thee floggins

opefully I'll get a better present than last year...a scrimshawed narwhal tusk wot looked suspiishuslee loik a willy.

[Griffin]

Cap'n's Log Date MXLLLIVF

Capn's Log Yarr Date comin up ta me birfday again!
.

Sent:: 1 stale loaf o' bred, no jam, ter BB. On account his birfday always seems ter fall on the same day each year which be a bit o' a puzzle like.

[black bart]

Aarrrgh thankee...

Aktewally last year I got a noo telescope come ta think of it.

I has become a bit of a hamatoor hastronomer. Quite often ye can hear such cries as:

"Cap'n...Cap'n...CAPTAIN! Spanyard orf thee Port Bow!!!!!"

To which comes thee reply:

"Not now ye blaggard I be lookin at thee Crab Nebulaaargh!

[DaveL]

Happy Birthday Matey...O'll send ye a birthday message on Carbuncle-Book

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Deer cap in log ,,I gun na wit a resispee in tha puddy tat kookbooke, I gunna mayk fudge! rrr

[black bart]

Capn's Log...funnilee enuff Nef Yoo's Fudge looked a lot loik a Log...an it tasted funeee.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

DEer capinz log,, chanjin tha wessipee , neede moor sugga rrr