Oh terrible tragedy at the reservoir in Helensburgh,
And at the news the people did gather from near and far,
To see that the infrastructure had started to crumble away,
Much in the manner of the railway bridge across the silvery Tay.
The reservoir at Helensburgh was built in the nineteenth century,
And at the time it performed all the services that its designers wished to see,
But after the passing of nearly two hundred years, and the growth in size of the town,
We now get our water from Loch Lomond, and the reservoir has been allowed to fall down.
Nowadays only fishermen and dog walkers use the reservoir and its footpaths,
And also the local teenagers drinking cider, smoking cigarettes and having laughs,
If you want to fish in the reservoir, from the bait 'n' tackle shop you need to buy a permit,
And if you walk your dog there, you need to take plastic bags to pick up after it.
It is a shame to see the heritage of the town fall into such disrepair,
And the local paper will be full of letters from people expressing their despair,
However none of the lazy bastards will lift a finger or pay to put it right,
So it will eventually fall into the water, and that will be all. Good night.