Pirate Speak Basics

[Platypus Enthusiast]

English:
Hey guys. My chapter of the Church is doing pirate speak lessons next week and I was wondering if you dudes had any pointers. Pronunciation, grammar, vocab, it's all good. Thanks and sauce be with you.

Pirate:
Ahoy wenches and gents. Me pius croo be doin' talkin' lesonz in haf a fortnite an I be wondrin' if ye scurvy dogs had sum advise. Sowndz, werds, sets of structural rules of sentences, it all be well. Thank ye kindly an sauce be with ye. Arrrrr.

[DavidH]

I think you should throw in some nautical expressions such as futtock shrouds, the foretop, the bosun's locker, the lubber's hole, keeping your luff, hauling your wind ....

Also some colourful names: Cap'n Loombucket, Hook-Hand Isambard, Mincing Malachi the Camp Terror ....

And some oaths: Well nadger me looming thrums! Devil take his mizzen whiffle-blocks! Ye be as much use as a chocolate carronade.

[black bart]

An don't be forgettin 'Belay That, Hoist me mizzens, Avast behind' etc etc.

[Roy Hunter]

Don't forget to allude in passing to stories of derring do, with which you can later regale your audience (these stories should under no circumstances be either plausible or true).

For example: "Arr, I be reminded o' the time I war shipwrecked off thee coast of Afrrricarrrr, and were saved by elephants...", or to be truly implausible "Arr, this reminds me o' the toime Black Bart bought a round o' drinks...".

[DavidH]

An don't be forgettin 'Belay That, Hoist me mizzens, Avast behind' etc etc.

You'd need a vast behind to get a mizzen hoisted up it.

[black bart]

Allright ye blaggards...who's idea was it to leave Hook-Hand Isambard and Mincing Malachi the Camp Terror in charge o thee Shyppe's paint scheme!!!!

[DavidH]

Tweren't Malachi, e were at Cap'n Gordon's hair salon that afternoon. E does a bit of styling for Gay Gordon on Friday afternoons while Gordon does a bit o' pillagin and gets is nails done.

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrrrgh, ^ that be *thee* sallon in Portsmouf, if ye wants a classick French Tippe this fall:


If yer wantin t'mayke moor ov a fashun statement, trye Gordon's faverit, thee "Jolly Roger":


Blacke be the newe nachural, loike.

[DavidH]

Aarr, Pieces, that be bootifle. Praps ye'd like thee flower arrangin' classes by Mad Dog McKiller - Thoisdy affernoons in the back bar o' the Donkey's Pizzle.

[black bart]

Ye'll be tellin me next that thee 'Donkey's Pizzle' be Portsmouth's first Wine Bar...where will it all end?

[tanguerra]

Aaarrrgggh! Sure, 'til end in a drunken riot most loikely Bart!

[black bart]

Anuvver Pirate basic be to remember ta set fire to yer hair:

[tanguerra]

Arrrrrgh! Cousin Blackie! He wer a charakter an no mistake!