Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Perhaps that one has been holding too many bikes!

[Roy Hunter]

FOR SALE! (No, seriously, it is)

One aircraft carrier. Right-hand drive, VGC, low mileage, one careful owner, only been to war once and that was against a pretend South American navy with French weapons. Will be available for inspection in Portsmouth.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-11872743

[DaveL]

Seller: Captain Scuppers
Feedback: Get a life
Member: Since the Armada got scuttled
Item: Companion Barnacles
Notes: Sell them to the sushi shop

Bored? Gone slightly nuts on a long voyage?

Havin trubbles losin' card games with the lads?
Not makin' "extra special friends" with your 400lb cabin mate?
Need an understanding ear, that listens to all ye trubbles?

Well this barnacle collection might be just what ye need.
Why scrape them off yer hull, when they can be the onboard friends ye never had.

Talk them for walks...

Go fetch stick...

Sit boy roll over...

Who's a good boy, who's a good boy...

Your lonely days at sea might be over for good!

So buy your new friends today!!

And right now if you buy one barnacle, we'll throw in a whole cluster of 'em absolutley free.

[black bart]

Seller: bartindustriesonline
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

For sale: X Miss January Cabin Boy goes under thee name of Miss Molly



No trubble to keep (unless ye has a penchant fer red ribbons about yer outfits).

Onlee Fifty Cronan starting bid, will throw in spare knickers to highest bidder.

[black bart]

Seller: bartindustriesonline
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765

Genuine Dubloons fer sale...handee fer settlin yer bar tab in a dark and dingy pub (loik thee Benbow).

No questuns arsked loik.



get yerself a bargain onlee 5 Cronan a bag.

Hurree whilst stocks last.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Can Oi use 'em to buy Miss Molly?

[black bart]

Seller: bartindustriesonline
Feedback: 0.0005%
Member: Since 1765



Get yerself a Scumpad now an get a free download of 'Angry Pirates' with every purchase.

Only 500 Cronan for 8 Megaarghbites, 6 months free membership of Scumnetwork and a complimentaree pleather carry case.

Hurry whilst stocks last...and afore thee revenue men catch up wiv me.

[pieces o'nine]

Arrrgh, summat be rong wif thee one on thee left!

[black bart]

Arrgh thee one on thee left be showin an hexample o ' Matey Time', an Arrrp which hallows ye ta kermmunykate vishooally wiv yer mateys...

...probablee best ta turn thee lightin down in me cabin afore I tries ta chat up thee Princess Infanta o Spain again...last toim she fainted an took four months ta rekover her fakyewltees.

[Griffin]

Seller: Cap'n Heave Ho
Feedback: unreadable
Member: since pigs could fly
Item: Dowsing rod

A new way to find and remove your barnacles.

Free copy "Dowsing for Dummies" with every rod.

Price: 3 dubloons or buy 3 for the price of four.

Buyer collects: not suitable for bicycles.

[black bart]

How manyee Barnacles does it remove in one sittin?

[Griffin]

Depends what ye be sittin on.

[pieces o'nine]

Q: Does ye 'ave a better pitcher ov thee Dowsin Rodde?

[black bart]

Q: Does ye 'ave a better pitcher ov thee Dowsin Rodde?

Aye nivver but owt from Aaargh Bay unless they provide ye wiv a good piktur...

I once bought 3 and a half croo members of which the description read: In good condition...when I went to collect em I found em hangin in gibbets at hexekooshun dock...it turns out they were on sale for spare parts onlee!

[tanguerra]

Aaaarggghh! Ye've given me an idee. I moight scour Arr-bay ter see if I ken find hide nor hair of Ol' Kate? No doubt her purchaser would ha wanted to unlawd her soonish loik, on acccount o' her foul disposition und odour? Praps now she'll be a bargane like?