10,000 (more) Commandments

[black bart]

9256: Thou shalt not abuse thee cabin boy.

[StJason]

9256a. ...unless you both are into that kind of thing. Thou frikkin' pervert.

[daftbeaker]

9255: Commandment 9256 does not apply if the cabin boy in question is Nef Yoo.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

um
nummer nine fowsind sumfing

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i comane ye ta go ta yer womb an
an an git ta slup en yer hammik wite now
or ye kant go pillyjin kummiff tha don !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[skyweir]

9253- Thou shalt not attempt to order the physiological activities of others if one is not in control of ones own.

9252- Especially if one is unable to count.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

nummer nine fowsind en sumfing

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i comane ye ta go fetch sum fwesh dypur fur tha nex pillyjin parrdy

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

if ye dunt git dem
ye kant kum wiff us
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[skyweir]

9250- When commanding the production of diapers, thou shalt nominate the number and nature required; thus so many of Huggies, and so many of Depends; and thou shalt also list the recipients of same, that they may be held up to proper ridicule.

[black bart]

9249: Thou shalt not enter into an argument with a French Woman who's teenage sons are taller than thou.

[skyweir]

9248- Thou shalt listen to commandment 9249, as it hath the ring of truth learned by bitter experience.

[Ubi Dubius]

9247: If thou would wish people to not touch you "there", thou shalt not wear clothing with invitations to touch thou "there". For example, the young woman with the T-shirt that read "Rub these for Luck" might wish to reconsider her apparel choices.

[Roy Hunter]

9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.

[skyweir]

9245- And if thou dost, and are hauled before the beak, thou shalt claim to have been drunk and depressed at the time, thus acting out of character.

9244- And thou shalt append the words 'Your Worship', obsequiously, to thy every utterance in that place.

[black bart]

9246: Thou shalt not tell a pneumatic young lady thou meetest in a pub "I bet you a pound I can make your breasts jiggle without touching them"; for when she accepts your bet, and you have grabbed her chest, given it a good jiggle and then handed her a pound; she shall call the police and have thou arrested and put on the Sex Offenders Register.

9243 (9246b): Thou shalt not tell a young lady thou meetest in a pub: "I bet you a pound you can't make my balls jiggle without touching them with your hands" for verily she shalle kick thou in'st thine bollockes and thou shalt have lost a pound and thou shalt be in pain.

[skyweir]

9242- In fact, should thou meetest a young lady in a pub, thou shalt say naught but 'Hello', and then smile and agree a lot, for therein lyeth thy best hope; as detailed by the prophet Roy in another place.

Roy Hunter wrote-

You are banned for thinking when a woman is talking to you. You shouldn't be thinking, you should be listening and saying "Yes, dear" as and when required.

[ChowMein]

9241: Refrain from Bogartin' that joint .