Impose a Pastwa

[DavidH]

Our version of the fatwa is, of course, the pastwa. Basically, we get Our Noodly Lord to zap some bugger we don't like.
Who would be your #1 recipient for one?

My first choice is Tony Blair.

[PastorDeGranoDuro]

The entire current Australian government.

[daftbeaker]

Theological issue - Surely to be more in tune with our islamic lunatic friends we should declare a pastwa and then pastafarians who discover the target have to hit them in the face with a plate of spaghetti bolognese?

[DavidH]

Sounds like a good idea to me. Since you suggested it, can we delegate you do do the actual splatting?

[daftbeaker]

Sounds like a good idea to me. Since you suggested it, can we delegate you do do the actual splatting?

Nope, I'm one of those peaceful rational believers I keep hearing so much about

Also, I'd eat the spaghetti

[black bart]

^Can we practice on DB seeing as he likes the spaghetti? After all we'd need a Pastwa Training Camp.

[Roy Hunter]

Half a dozen posts into the thread, and already we have a theological schism.

I nominate Rupert Murdoch, as long as his wife is not around...

[DavidH]

^ Hey, she'd make a damn good pasta-splatter, if we could recruit her. Experience at the highest levels.

[mddesan]

I submit that the FSM (may he strain forever in the great colander) is beyond reproaching mortals in this temporal existance, and he would not wish us to do so either. I'm confident that everyone will receive their just boilings when we enter back into his starcy embrace. I exhort you all to follow his teachings of peace, love, forgivness and marination with the utmost rigidity.

But if you asked me at gunpoint, I'd be forced to admit my choice of Antonin Scalia. ; ]

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

I declare a pastwa on Milo.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

^ And Roy must film it, and link to the video here!

[Roy Hunter]

I declare a pastwa on Milo.

^ And Roy must film it, and link to the video here!

I wouldn't mind giving Milo a big plate of pasta and sauce except for one tiny detail: he's a terrier. Terriers don't just eat their food, they like to 'kill' it first. So if you give him a bone, a pig's ear or a doggy chew, he has to throw it around for ten minutes, bark at it, 'worry' it (picking it up with his mouth and shaking it about, the way he would kill a rat or a rabbit) before settling down to chew on it.

Can you imagine the mess he would make with a plate of pasta? Then again, he might decide he likes the smell of it and decide to roach in it (here is a video of Milo roaching). If we factor in washing the curtains and/or sofa covers, cleaning the floor, the skirting boards, the walls, the furniture, bathing the filthy beast himself, cleaning up the bathroom after that, and then washing the dishes, that is probably half a day's work and a major domestic with Mrs. H. invested in that.

So maybe not...

[skyweir]

I impose a Pastwa on 'Lord' Monckton, for three reasons-
1) Being wrong
2) Impersonating Marty Feldman
3) Bringing the value of pyrates into disrepute.

[Cardinal Fang]

I find myself agreeing with mddesan that the FSM is beyond reproaching mortalsm and therefore pastwas not sensible.

But more importabtly, the 2nd IRRYD says:

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

I read that to mean that, irrespective of how much of a tw*t they are (see Blair, Murdoch, Monkton etc), we can't use the FSM's noble existence on impose pastwa on them (irrespective of how much I'd like to see the above 3 people sauced with marinara).

CF

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

Really? I read it to mean he'd "really rather" we didn't do it, but if we really want to, it's okay.