21 Gun Salute For Admiral Twisted Sister not loud enough
(and not enough guns
Admiral Twisted Sister, Second in command of the Fleet after the First Sea Lord and a woman known to have the 'ear of the King' was left fuming last Wednesday as the occasion of her birthday went uncelebrated by the Fleet Command.
Admiral Twisty (as she is affectionately known to her crew from the way she likes to use a twisted rope on their backs if they look at her sideways) is reported to have swept across the poop deck like a Tornado sending Jolly Jack Tars scuttling for cover.
However it turns out a 21 gun salute had been fired in honour of the Admirals Birthday but the sound of the guns had been drowned out by the noisy revelry from the Admiral Benbow after rumours circulated that Black Bart had been shot by 'Ye Speshul Forces'.
Portsmouth has a history of failed birthday celebrations one of the most spectacular being last years attempted celebration of Mayor Keith Liversausage's birthday when the salute guns inexplicably aimed live ammunition at the Town Hall.Article Sponsored by Bart Industries in Conjunction with Ye Piratical Haccident Helpline.**If you have been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault (or shot by Speshul forces or a mis-directed 21 gun salute), fill in your details below and one of our friendly advisors will call to discuss making a compensation claim on a no win no fee basis.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.