The Captain's Log

[pieces o'nine]

Thee beste laid plans be thee simplest, Bart.

Why go t'thee effert ov settin hup an elabirate an hex spensieve kidnappin' plot wen ye ken 'ire 'im on as a cabbin bouy an "lose" 'im theyre, hack sidental, loike...

[black bart]

Thee beste laid plans be thee simplest, Bart.

Why go t'thee effert ov settin hup an elabirate an hex spensieve kidnappin' plot wen ye ken 'ire 'im on as a cabbin bouy an "lose" 'im theyre, hack sidental, loike...

Aaaaarrrrgh...Capn's Log after a voyage to the land o thee Carpet sellers an Camel russlers.

It was all goin well...I lead Nef Yoo down a dark Carthaginian Alley way, known as a Souk (Souk El Hannibal Lecter), full o thee most dreadful cuthroats wot ye've ever set eyes on. After a bit o barterin I bagged meself a luverlee carpet fer thee cabin an one o them Hubbly Bubbly pipes fer a knockdown price. We sat down at a Moorish Cafe...them Carthaginian deleekarsees be very Moorish...I furnished Nef Yoo wiv a Hubbly Bubbly pipe full o Moroccan Black an waited fer him to pass out. I rolled thee hinsensible lad into a carpet an took him to thee camel market. By Allah thee smell was terrible...most o thee camels passed out when I unwrapped Nef Yoo an a general cry o Plague went up. To cut a long story short I had to pay to ave Nef Yoo sent through a Turkish Bath and ave his clothes buried in lime in a Carthaginian Necropolis.

[pieces o'nine]

Yarrrgh, that be a sorry end t'yer tale, Bart. Ye wuz doin roight well huntil ye tryed t'sneake 'im hinto thee market yerself, loike.

Ye shood ov left thee carpet rolled hup under yer table, hacktin loike it were valyoobull, an heventchewly allowed yerself t'be distrakted by thee urchins sent t'distrakt ye. Thee urchins wood ov smuggled NefYoo orf, an ye wood ov got cleane away.

Tayke notes fer thee necks hopportoonity...

[DaveL]

YArrrrr...

How's yer Punics going?

[pieces o'nine]

Oi beg yer parrrghdon, sir!

[black bart]

Capn's (grunt) log (wince wiv pain) Nov 1770

Aarrrgh an belay...I've got a ninja throwin star in me vitals! (The Sawbones reckons I has a Kidney Stone).

None o ye cutthroats be allowed ta make me larf...cos it hurts!

lookin on thee bright side...if it's stone it moight be vallable,

[daftbeaker]

How's yer Punics going?

Better than his Balkans from the sound of his kidney stones

[DaveL]

Capn's (grunt) log (wince wiv pain) Nov 1770

Aarrrgh an belay...I've got a ninja throwin star in me vitals! (The Sawbones reckons I has a Kidney Stone).

None o ye cutthroats be allowed ta make me larf...cos it hurts!

lookin on thee bright side...if it's stone it moight be vallable,

YArrrrr...

Ye can use that stone as ships ballast matey, it be sumthin' "new fangled" called 'recyclin' Oi hears.

[TwistedSister]

Poor Bart. He be sufferin Nef Yoo's revenge for trying to ditch the little bloke at the camel market, or something like that. Either that, or he really did try making camel head stoo and it didn't agree with him.

(knowing Bart, he'll keep the stones and market them under Black Bart Enterprises and try to make a buck or two)

[black bart]

Poor Bart. He be sufferin Nef Yoo's revenge for trying to ditch the little bloke at the camel market, or something like that. Either that, or he really did try making camel head stoo and it didn't agree with him.

(knowing Bart, he'll keep the stones and market them under Black Bart Enterprises and try to make a buck or two)

Arrrgh...I nivver did see me stones...I must ave drunk enuff Capn's Delight to dissolve em!

[pieces o'nine]

^ Oi be verra sorry t'reade that, Bart. ^

An oi must say, oi hadmoires ye 'avin' thee stones t'hadmit hit...

[black bart]

Aye well I always says a few bottles o that Capn's Delight cures anyfing. It even made me leg grow back once...I'd knocked back about four bottles in thee Benbow and when I looked down I had me old leg back...in me joy I tried to skip out o thee front door but I tripped over thee flyin pig wot some blaggard had left behind. The next mornin when I woke, twas about 6 bells o thee pm, me peg leg had returned...tis a mystery.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

deer capinz log
i b ofissil BROoooomizer !
i haff lotz ov werk ta duu!
so far i juss loss sebbendeen cussamerz
fwum mizteryus sirkumstinzez
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[black bart]

deer capinz log
i b ofissil BROoooomizer !
i haff lotz ov werk ta duu!
so far i juss loss sebbendeen cussamerz
fwum mizteryus sirkumstinzez
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I aint touchin thee stuff huntil thee hofishall taster hav tasted yer broo...I don want any more kidney stones thank ye.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

deer capinz log
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i bin tha fissil broo masser fer alon tyme now
i brood lotz ove difrint bludz
sum ove me cussamerz cuss a lot
but mose ove tha peepull dat fald ill ar still alife
i b sooo wellfy now
yu muss see alla coynz an buttinz an shiny rox i haz!
hiphipharraaaaa
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
now i haz alla stuff fer ta broo ale
i pillij alla et frum unca Farts garrrrrrdin
alla haffa du iz ta git sum yeest
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i dunt no wort dis yeest iz
but unca DAvee sez
alla gurlz et Missis FiFis Howze haz sum yeest thay wanna gitn rid ove

i gunna fine coconut cup ta poot tha yeest in
byby capinz log