Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

It looked like a lounge to me. That is until Oi sat on 'im. Yowch!

[black bart]

Black Bart narrowly avoids court injunction by publishing Part 4 of 'Pride n' Predjewdice n' Pirates'

Thee infamous Long Winded Tale author has finally come up with the long anticipated fourth installment of his Magnum Opus. We're happy enough, said the publishers, finally taking the pistol away from Bart's head, as long as he does part 5 before Jane Austin sues him.

Black Bart is 24.

[TwistedSister]

Black Bart is 24.

Aye, they be dog years tho.

[black bart]

Black Bart is 24.

Aye, they be dog years tho.

Aye matey I be definitely a bit dog eared.

[TwistedSister]

Yep, there's a bunch of us old folks around these here parts.
They yunggins keep us on our toes!

[black bart]

Yep, there's a bunch of us old folks around these here parts.
They yunggins keep us on our toes!

But them yunggins are no good in thee Pirate Quiz.

[pieces o'nine]

MUAAAAAA-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[black bart]

Cap'n Green Smith to celebrate 50th Birfday 'afloat'?

In an event which many people think could see thee end of the biggest blaggards Portsmouth's ever seen, Cap'n Green Smith is set to celebrate his 5oth birfday next Saturday on board a river boat. A gentle cruise down thee River Thaymses sounds just thee ticket ye moight think, wiv plentee o grog, wenches an vittles aboard. Hunfortunately thee daft bluggit has henvited Cap'n Cronan!!!

Cap'n Black Spot said: 'I be tempted aboard by thee free grog but I be more worried for me safety than when I last ate Fish Head Stew at Black Bart's party' (wot was sensibly held on dry land).

Black Bart said: 'I be afeered fer me loif...but thee grog will be flowin an I'll be wearin a secret loif jacket under me Pleather Coat.

Walktheplank said: 'I be wearin a speshul floatin wig an I be carryin me volume o Long Winded Tales wot will double up as a loif raft.

Thee 'New Southern Belle' will be settin settin sail from Turk's pier at Kingston at 8 bells sharp...wiv Cronan on board they'll be luckee ta taste a sip o grog afore she sinks.

The Guaaaaaarrrrrrrdian will be there ta take photos o thee disaster.

[black bart]

Nef Yoo trapped in Code Box

Portsmouth Celebrates

Code: Select all

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[pieces o'nine]

Portsmouth Hires Code-Talkers to Insure NefYoo Remains Off the Streets!

More on this story after a word from our sponsors...

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

ferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllll !!!!!
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
DIS WEEK ONEE !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
wadermilin gutz fer wun farfin fer a sip !
an wee gotz kanta loopz gutz
fer juss wun pence
fer a bigggg hanfulllll !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[black bart]

Nef Yoo escapes from Code Box

Riots break out in Portsmouth

[pieces o'nine]

Portsmouth Citizens Bar Doors; Batten Hatches
Constables refuse to disclose whether they have any leads in apprehending NefYoo.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

heer ye heer ye heer yeeeeeeee
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
B tha furse ta haff a sip ov NEf yOos nuuuuu gawva blud !
fer sail behine tha skervee dawg en 2 minitz
fer juss hapinny fer a bigg sip !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ya bedder hurwy afor tha big piritz hog et all !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[black bart]

Nef Yoo told to **** off by English Yobbo

Portsmouth's mayor worried about high level of breeding amongst poor and scurvied masses.