FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby VinZ on Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:24 am

With my first newborn son just arrived, I was wondering which ritual to perform on him so that he will be part of the Pastafarian community. I filled out 'Pastafarian' as my religion on the take-in sheet of the hospital, but the staff was not aware of the according ritual, nor am I.

I was thinking of doing a Christening-type of thing, but using tepid water (body temperature) in which ramen has been cooked instead of the ice cold water with rotten smell as they use in churches.

I am a firm believer in sticking to the letter of Scripture as i do not dare to twist the word of the FSM. Therefor I do not wish to interpret our religion, nor blend elements in from the christian sect.

I found very little or no scripture on the subject, so I hope by doing the Ramen water ritual I am not turning him into a child of Darkness.

Advice most welcome

User avatar
Ziti Zealot
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:28 am
Location: Bangkok, Thailand

Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:03 am

I will consult the Loose Canon for any relevant passages, though I don't believe there is anything specifically on the induction of infants to the faith.

I can, however, direct you to the "Flimsy Moral Standards." Whatever you do, the FSM will probably be chill with (short of something harmful or abusive). Extra points if you make him laugh. :wink:

In fact, since it does seem to be missing from our scripture, perhaps you could record the events, and we can canonize it for the second edition of he Loose Canon?
User avatar
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
Posts: 14379
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby PKMKII on Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:08 am

VinZ wrote:I was thinking of doing a Christening-type of thing, but using tepid water (body temperature) in which ramen has been cooked instead of the ice cold water with rotten smell as they use in churches.

Oooh, and then put some pancetta, pecorino romano, and a couple beaten eggs on him. Mmmmmm, baby carbonara... :idiot:
User avatar
Senior New York Correspondent
Posts: 10922
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:13 pm
Location: Where the Sun don't shine

Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:56 am

I must make one request, however. If you must FSMize your child, regardless of how you do it, be sure to emphasize that it's 100% revokeable by the child at any point in his life, should he choose not to associate with our church.

One thing that bothers a lot of atheists who were formerly Catholic is that, because they were baptized, they are considered to be permanently part of the Catholic church for life, whether they want to be or not, and you have to jump through hoops to be excommunicated to get out of it. I suggest you don't make it so binding.

Just my two cents. Congratulations to you for bringing a brand new child into the world, and congratulations to the child for successfully being born, into a Pastafarian family no less!
The Almighty Website of Stuff, home of my poetry and other artwork and other stuff!
User avatar
Almighty Doer of Stuff
Posts: 1945
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 8:13 am
Location: Massachusetts

Re: FSMtening (pastafarian Christening)

Postby Roy Hunter on Thu Sep 23, 2010 4:04 pm

Christenings can be revoked with a hairdryer. If you're sprinkled with holy water to baptise you into the faith, you can be symbolically dried off again with the holy hairdryer to un-baptise you. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
Posts: 16142
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Return to All Things FSM

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests