The Quality of Mercy is not Strained.(or even really flexed)

[ken worley]

In the mountains of France, in a forest clearing, there lived two squirrels.
Each had a nice hollow tree to live in.

It was the day before the first snowfall, and at this elevation, the world was about to be plunged into an icy deathlock for 5 months.

The squirrels had each spent all summer gathering nuts and dried berries, with which they'd stocked their tree hollows for the coming winter.

As it happened, two hikers had gotten lost in this forest, and had been wandering for days.

One was omnivorous, and one was a vegan.

They knew that civilization lay at the foot of the mountain, two day's hike away.

The omnivore came across one of the hollow trees, and, discovering a feast inside, immediately whacked the squirrel in the head with a rock, and devoured him, followed by the nuts and berries.

The vegan came upon the other nest, and gently removed the squirrel, and softly stroked its fur as he ate all the nuts and berries.
He then kissed the precious little creature gently on top the head, and placed him gently and safely back into his now-empty home.

Night fell on the clearing, and an icy rain began to fall, and one lonely squirrel stared from a cold empty tree-hole, with the stricken, terror-filled eyes of the doomed.

Several miles down the mountain, the vegan strolled in the direction of his salvation, picking nut hulls from his teeth, with the warm, self-satisfied glow of the enlightened beaming from his rosy cheeks.


The Moral...

There are three, really.

1. Planning and hard work are not always rewarded.

2. When you're hungry, squirrels are mighty tasty, 'specially with a side of nuts 'n' berries.

3. Vegans are, to a man, insufferable pricks.

[St John the Blasphemist]

If squirrels are anything like the cute cuddly possums we have in Australia then the vegan would have lots of band-aids on his fingers after the ordeal.

Moral No.4: Starving vegans make profit for Johnson & Johnson (makers of Band-Aid)

St John the Blasphemist
Saint of Cute & Cuddly Animals That Hurt You When You Mess Around With Their Food

[blackeyedbutch]

why didn't the vegan just take the squirrel with him as a pet I would have

[MPTrooper]

I would have burnt down the forest. For the fire of course

[Capellini]

In the case of the squirrel who will now starve to death, vegans are insufferable pricks to him, too.

[EarthRise]

Vegans are insufferable pricks, but so are squirrels.

[Duke]

Raise your hand if you have hunted squirrel....What? Only me? How embarrassing...


Duke

[ken worley]

Necromancy....I admit it...I don't want autopruned of my heartwarming story.

[ET, the Extra Terrestrial]

Why didn't the omnivore whack the vegan with the rock and eat him instead? Lots more cheeseburgers on a human than on a squirrel.

[ken worley]

Why didn't the omnivore whack the vegan with the rock and eat him instead? Lots more cheeseburgers on a human than on a squirrel.

They weren't together....
The omnivore's instincts kept him (subconsciously) from encountering the insufferable prick.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

oh ye kuld me a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad noime
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
um gunna tell anty twissy
an she gunna ban ya
an wun ya fru
cuz she doptid me
ye bedder wum way cuz she gunna b ona warpaff
an din alla antys gunna wun ya fru
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Rainswept]

In the case of the squirrel who will now starve to death, vegans are insufferable pricks to him, too.

I find that Cap has preemptively posted my response pretty much word for word, saving me the trouble. Thanks Cap.

[black bart]

Snow? in France? It must have been the Alps...and the Lord alps those who alp themselves.