Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

[Ham Nox]

It's a magical bucket that keeps track of the sheep for you.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
gimme bak me bukkit!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Doesn't bucket rhyme well with Nantucket?

[daftbeaker]

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
gimme bak me bukkit!

So now we know who took the lolrus's bukkit

[black bart]

Dear Auntie

How does ye cure Pirates from a penchant for pole dancin?

Look at this blaggard:

[TwistedSister]

That be a MIGHTY big peg leg you got there Bart!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Well he's got a wig, so Oi reckon Planky's bin gettin a few burlesque lessons down at Madame Chantal's.

[black bart]

Dear Auntie Blackarse

Where exactlee be yer Kidney?...thee shyppes sawbones is onlee good fer tidyin up thee outsides of a body wiv a saw...he knows nuffin about thee inside...strap me vitals.

Happens he knows where all me rum went though.

[kaioshin00]

Deer Auntie Blackbeard,

Tis bin many a fortnite since oi took to the 'igh seas, as oi've been frolokin' with de landlubbers doin landlubbery things.

'As dere been any teknological advannces in da past few 'ears? Oi got wind o' sum toipe of 3D eyepatch or summat?

Thank'ee,

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Dear Cap'n kaioshin00

Those clever engineers at Scumsoft did try out a 3D imagin eye patch. The pilot scheme rolled out last month wiv a 3D version of Big Brenda does Dallas...hunfortunatelee thee 3d effect caused thee audience to panic and much of Portsmouth City Centre was destroyed.

Other than that we're workin on an heverlastin Lollypop for Nef Yoo.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

Deer aunty blackberr.

As yew be kowin', Oi been in th' busienss o' getting a pirate radio show, o' a spesific timeslot likes, wot no one else be usin'. Oi've inquired t' me superiors aboot t'all, but oi keep not hearin' back, blasted pirates. Oi been tryin' ta go aboot it such likes that Oi won't 'ave th' howle o' th' british fleet knockin't me door t'night, but th' propsect o' juss comandeerizing th' station when none others be usin' it seems mighty appealitizing t' me roights about now.

Sincerly:
A moral dilemma (geddit?)

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Arrrgh Anti Backbump !

Duz ye knowest wot yeer stinky nef yoo bin ep to !?
He be pesterin' passerbys in fron' ove thee Scurvy Dawg , offring up sips ove appel blud fer a farthin' eech !
Thee stuff smells loike piss !
Tastes loike et too !
Howeffer ye dont taste thet bad affer a wile.

Culd see iffin ye git thee wee blighter ta lower his price ?

yer effer luvin' Willy .

[bacon]

Dear Auntie Blackbeard,

I haf boin sick fer ovargh a week noiw. Me sawbonez tolf me ta take these huge poink pillz, but they don seem ta be doin' anyfing. Wut do ye sugguest oi do ta feel bettargh?

Urs,

bacon

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Dear Auntie Blackbeard,

I haf boin sick fer ovargh a week noiw. Me sawbonez tolf me ta take these huge poink pillz, but they don seem ta be doin' anyfing. Wut do ye sugguest oi do ta feel bettargh?

Urs,

bacon

Me lassie!

Them pink pillz duzna do nuffin fer ye. I recommen bloo pillz insted. Ifn' they duz nuffin fer ye, givvum to yer fella insted. Ye'll be roight az rain in no toime.

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Dear Auntie Blackarse

Where exactlee be yer Kidney?...thee shyppes sawbones is onlee good fer tidyin up thee outsides of a body wiv a saw...he knows nuffin about thee inside...strap me vitals.

Happens he knows where all me rum went though.

Deer Cap'n Ijjit <

Bart ye be a daff git , fankly oi dint noe ye had a kid ta begin wiff .
Juss how much munny be ye arskin' fer ransum ?

Anywaze ile tells ye this wunce !
Yeer kids knees ARR! juss above thee shins .

Oi hope this 'elps .

Now sod off !