Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

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Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:00 pm

I'm always sein' stuff there that makes me smile, either on it's own, or for the first response to it that pops into my head whe I see it.

I finally made thread.

Here is Numero UNO...


25 masked gunmen kidnap two aid workers in central Somalia


*ahem*

...pussies.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby black bart on Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:26 am

Tons of released drugs taint U.S. water

That explains a lot Ken.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby farfalla on Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:09 pm



"Southern California Man Booked in Horse Decapitation"

( Dandhd?...Dan?... where are you?...... have you pissed off the godfather?)
~~~~~~/\~~~~~~

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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Fri May 01, 2009 10:29 pm

Forest Service closes thousands of caves to stop bat fungus.



The ASPCA, PETA, and several women's-rights organizations protested the move, a NOW spokeswoman saying a bat's cave is "her prerogative, and not in the purvey of any government agency, no matter how fungal they get."
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Tue May 05, 2009 12:37 pm

London mayor sees 'fat' wax figure, vows to exercise

Don't strain yourself.
Try a heat lamp.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Sun May 10, 2009 8:51 pm

"Greek puppet master Evgenios Spatharis dies at age 85"

A small riot subsequently erupted at the funeral home, where 4 different people rose in unison, each bearing a written request from the deceased to read the eulogy.

The decedent's will is also a source of contention, and currently being fought by his survivors. Spatharis' ex-wife and step-children contend that (his) codicil that would require them to "...don chicken costumes and then copulate on Mexican national television.", is unlawful, and also indicitave of an unsound mind contemporaneous with the will's final revision.


:lurk:
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby daftbeaker on Tue Jun 16, 2009 5:44 am

And the prize for 'Most Over-Hyped Headline of the Week' goes to the Daily Mail for 'Schoolboy survives direct hit by meteorite travelling at 30,000mph'

The 14 year old German was 'grazed' by a meteorite, leaving him with a small burn scar on his hand. Article

Edit- Just found Cambridge students celebrate end of exams with binge-drinking festival and all-women jelly-wrestling :haha:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby black bart on Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:17 am

daftbeaker wrote:And the prize for 'Most Over-Hyped Headline of the Week' goes to the Daily Mail for 'Schoolboy survives direct hit by meteorite travelling at 30,000mph'

The 14 year old German was 'grazed' by a meteorite, leaving him with a small burn scar on his hand. Article

Edit- Just found Cambridge students celebrate end of exams with binge-drinking festival and all-women jelly-wrestling :haha:


That kid would have been alright if he didn't have such ridiculously long arms from too much jelly wrestling. :haha:
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Thu May 13, 2010 5:25 am

New toyota is unveiled, to headline:

"Although few have ever seen it, the highly anticipated new model...


It is therefore, You are following the instructions to view the model as already-in-demand, based on imaginary group consensus....

BUT.....

You are one of the elite leaders/trendsetters of said group, being among the first to lay eyes on the thing.(ugly as a mud fence, IMOO)
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:12 pm

Police: Intruder Arrested at Paris Hilton's Home (AP)



headline teaser wrote:AP - A man has been arrested at Paris Hilton's Los Angeles home after the socialite said he tried to break into her house while holding two big knives.


If he'd have just freed up the fingers of one of his hands to work the deadbolt and doorknob, he may've made it inside to touch her in her bikini area before police dragged him away...shmuck.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby black bart on Wed Aug 25, 2010 5:31 am

ken worley wrote:Police: Intruder Arrested at Paris Hilton's Home (AP)



headline teaser wrote:AP - A man has been arrested at Paris Hilton's Los Angeles home after the socialite said he tried to break into her house while holding two big knives.


If he'd have just freed up the fingers of one of his hands to work the deadbolt and doorknob, he may've made it inside to touch her in her bikini area before police dragged him away...shmuck.


Perhaps he was the local itinerant knife sharpener simply trying to return Paris's kitchen ware...things aren't always what they seem.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:15 am

black bart wrote:
ken worley wrote:Police: Intruder Arrested at Paris Hilton's Home (AP)



headline teaser wrote:AP - A man has been arrested at Paris Hilton's Los Angeles home after the socialite said he tried to break into her house while holding two big knives.


If he'd have just freed up the fingers of one of his hands to work the deadbolt and doorknob, he may've made it inside to touch her in her bikini area before police dragged him away...shmuck.


Perhaps he was the local itinerant knife sharpener simply trying to return Paris's kitchen ware...things aren't always what they seem.


True, though all things being equal, and with any evidence to follow, he's still a shmuck, and I still want to touch paris' loin-area....w/o use of even one large knife.

-My eyes are up here.
-"Knife" , as used above, is NOT a euphemism.
-Shut up. Ms. Hilton is a sweetheart, with a tasty-lookin' loin-area.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby black bart on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:29 am

Is Paris Hilton a bit like the film 'Paris Texas' ie does she get followed around with Ry Cooder music wherever she goes?

But back to the Yahoo headlines I was delighted to see this one:

BT Ad Banned Over Broadband Speed Claims

These terrible adverts have been tormenting British viewers for far too long.
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Re: Pulled From the Yahoo "news" Headline-Teasers.

Postby ken worley on Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:44 am

black bart wrote:Is Paris Hilton a bit like the film 'Paris Texas' ie does she get followed around with Ry Cooder music wherever she goes?


hey.
I got another 8-track tape for my trucks radio weeks ago. (oak ridge boys-7Nation army and other wheat-hating sing-along-campsongs)

This by freeing up extra time to scrap/earn, by ceasing the attempt to retract/re-coil my dangling tongue-tip.
(or even caring how it wags.)

The Welsh_RareGit wrote:These terrible adverts have been tormenting British viewers for far too long.



I agree.

When will these lowlife desperate beggars stop filling the head's of earth's denizens with this sort of perverse tripe/mind-pollution?
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