Oi woz plunderin’ off the northern coast of Afrik when I stopped a passin’ barque – just to ask the way like, all polite an evryfing, honest – an wen oi broke into the Captain’s cabin I was attracted to an old relic hidden in the cubbord. Turned out to be the Captain’s aged ‘n toothless wench, so that just shows oi’ve bin at sea too long.
“Well, Blow me!” Sez oi, all surprised like. Anyways, after she’d gone oi decided to ‘ave a good look around, ‘cos it were an interestin’ and anteek sort of cabin.
Underneaf the floor (Oi dropped an earrin’ and had to prise up the deck planks) I found a locked strongbox, but luckily I had me Smif n Western flintlock key which easily opened it.
Now, ‘eerz the fing, me old powder monkeys, I foun’ an old bath-towel in the box.
The towel ‘as sum faint stains on it - like marinara sauce I reckon, cuz that nivver comes out of yer clothes duz it? – an’ the stains look like the face of Pirate Mosey! Corse, oi’ve nivver seen Pirate Mosey but if oi had, then that would look like ‘im.
Me flintlock key has caused a few burns on the towel unforchunetly, but Higgs the Bosun chewed a corner o’ the towel an’ he sez, “Thars veeeeeeeery old”. Wiv e-numbers like that, I fink we ‘as proof!
Yon bath-towel must be the towel that Mosey used to wipe isself down after ee led the short-order cooks through the giant red puddle of spaghetti sauce!
Oi be bringin’ the holy bath-towel back to the “Scurvy Dog” an’ oi’ll only charge tuppence for people to ‘ave a look.
Cap'n Miteby Lorst